To ask if anyone is is a Psychiatrist I really need help

[Helpplease101]

I don't know what to do. My house that I normally take such pride in is a complete mess. I am really struggling mentally. I've been hiding it from friends and family but I just can't cope.

I don't understand how I can go from a home worthy of interior decorating awards to this because I feel so low. I can motivate myself to do anything apart from step over the mess.

I have normal days where I think what on earth was I thinking during these current episodes. I don't care about my appearance. Then when I change I am the opposite. Really smart really take care of myself have a beautiful home again.

I want to stop this. My period can trigger it off also breakdown of relationships can also. The feeling is like a deep badness and a foggy feeling in my mind. I really hate it. It feels like something has changed in my head and I have to wait for it to lift

Hi- didn’t want to read a run.

Do you live alone?

Sometimes it's so bad I am aware I can't even fake it to the outside world. My mind is foggy and I have these strange thoughts and sometimes feel like I'm not actually present. I know that is weird

I have my children part time and then I am alone. I keep the fakery up for them

This lockdown and pandemic is incredibly hard for everyone and some will cope better than others but the stress and fogginess is a normal response.

I would do one thing today and see how you go. So yes the house might be a mess, but change your bedding and wash the others. Let them dry out on the line. How nice is it to have clean fresh sheets!

Don’t hold yourself to such a high account- you mention your house is a bit of a show home? Houses are meant to be loved and lived in.

Thank you. I was in a very violent marriage and I've had counselling for that. This mess is really getting me down. I will try the sheets thing you are right small steps

Not a psychiatrist but i would advise you check in with your gp to discuss it further as this can be indicative of depression. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself this makes it even more urgent

I would add though that covid is hitting a lot of people hard, the change of peoples routines is really destablising and its okay if thats impacting you. In a time of external chaos it can be really difficult to motivate yourself to do the little things.

I'm worried that there might be something else going on maybe bipolar or other types of things. When I am in control I am so different. I don't know which version is actually me. Like yesterday I couldn't cook because the kitchen was too messy. Instead of cleaning it I closed the door I can feel myself spiralling

You were in a very violent marriage so you could have PTSD. There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you, you’re processing trauma. Have you had any therapy?

I had 8 counselling sessions with the NHS and then they ran out. I have had hypnotherapy also but privately in the hope it could help but it hasn't

The violence was all around how clean the house was. So maybe there is a link. I have taken it too far though I'm very ashamed

He would be very angry and nothing was every clean or good enough for him

Before you're abusive relationship did you have a show home? Or is it just because of the traumatic experience where you were 'trained' into having a show home?

It's sounds like you're depressed, bipolar is super low depression to super high mania, so you wouldn't feel normal you'd feel hyper, like a child on tonnes of sugar, just going going going, though I'm not a professional, depressive episodes are normal in a stressful situation like this, a lot of stuff is out of your control and maybe that playing on when you were out of control in your last relationship, I think you need more counselling.

I was trained into having a show home. I had a normal level of tidyness before the marriage but now it's gone completely the other way

No I don't seem to have the high mania when things are good I'm just normal

Try not to focus on labels or diagnosis too much. Just think about how you can feel a bit better in yourself. Lots of good support out there. You can often self refer for your local mental health services. I am a trainee psychotherapist. Do you have a gp you have a good relationship with? Would you feel comfortable talking to them about this over the telephone?

I am struggling like everyone I guess with lockdown. My children are home during the week and mess gets much worse. I'm furloughed and there is no school run so there is no routine at all. Massive fail as I don't want to be this mother

I feel nervous talking to the gp I'm ashamed to tell them also what if they say I can't be a mother?

Please phone your GP and speak to them. YOu can probably get an phone appointment quite quickly.

It's teh Covid lockdown - never happened before in UK history - absolutely no need to be ashamed about anything - this strange carry on affects so many people in so many ways. The GP will be sympathetic I'm sure.

Call your gp, they are still open and your mental health is important.

Like pp said, do one or two things today. Are you coping with taking care of your personal hygiene (no judgement). If not make your self get in the shower (don’t wash your hair if you can’t cope) and change your sheets. Then even if you can’t get out of bed you’ll feel a bit better.

But most important thing to do today is to call your gp.

You’re in recovery from abuse - you are completely normal, your reaction to his twisted, sick behaviour is normal.

Could you afford some therapy? Virtual at the moment obviously. And a GP wouldn’t even think about taking your kids away just because you are processing the affects of trauma and abuse.

Some people have access to counselling or therapy through their work . I didn’t even know we had it until a colleague told me and I’ve worked there for years.

It’s worth checking out.

Phone your Gp as well.

I’d also think about doing the Freedom programme.

Thank you all for the advise I will give them a call

mind is foggy and I have these strange thoughts and sometimes feel like I'm not actually present. I know that is weird

Not a psychiatrist, but this is dissociation, which is a known response to stress for many people. I am somewhat similar - some areas of my life are falling apart but then some are operating with military precision. Feels like I grasp for control over certain things to compensate for having no control in other areas. The only time I've felt like this before was when I was in an abusive relationship.

I think what you're experiencing is a fairly normal reaction to the situation. Your goal is to make it through to the other side, not to keep your home magazine-ready. I'm sorry you're struggling xx

Yes that is exactly how it feels some areas are perfectly organised in my life and others totally chaois