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Original poster

Quivering Mess

93 replies

spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 11:33

I am a quivering mess today. Don't really know why I'm posting this, I suppose this is one place I feel able to "talk". I've been off work for a month and my doctor prescribed prozac but they haven't worked. My mum spoke to my gp on monday and they sent the crisis team to my house to see me. They recommended another month off work and doubled my dose of ADs and gave me some valium. They also liaised with my gp on my behalf and she said she would refer me for counselling. I felt better for a day or two but am now feeling much worse again. And for some stupid reason I can't get myself to the doctor to get my prescriptions. My ds cried this morning and said he didn't want to go to school so I have both my kids at home and no food in the house. I have to wash myself and get dressed and go shopping and the thought of doing that is making me shake. I feel pathetic. Please can someone tell me to pull myself together and do what has to be done. I'm an intelligent woman, I know what I have to do and that in theory I can do it, none of it is that hard, but I feel like crying all the time, I'm shaking and my body feels really really heavy. I slept nearly all day yesterday, then all night and if I went back to bed now I would sleep again, but I'm forcing myself to stay up. HELP! Someone please tell me I'm not mad.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:48

And you think you're mad, sm? What is he on? Take it though

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:50

I'm sure hallucinogens must be involved somewhere, the man is a mentalist. No wonder I'm mental.

OP posts:
lou33 · 08/10/2004 18:51

He must be on drugs, he obviously thinks he is living in the tudor times, and is in fact henry the 8th, therefore settling upon you a rather large dowry, ready for your next husband.

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:52

i shall text him back to thank him for giving me the best laugh i've had in years

OP posts:
DelGirl · 08/10/2004 18:52

Hope you're feeling a little better tonight SM, even with (or despite) the Hattie Jacques bed bath and Chas & Dave singalong a la Lou styly

lou33 · 08/10/2004 18:52

and me. Please thank him from me for really cheering me up today....

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:55

thanks DG, I'm feeling a little strange, but am definitely better. Tend to feel worse first thing in the morning. The weirdness with my ex husband is most bizarre, it's had the effect of short circuiting my brain!

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:55

Have you got some food yet?

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:56

I'm just about to venture out to forage for nuts and berries now.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:57

There's a good squirrel

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:58

I won't be back on tonight. I just want to thank everybody for helping me to feel better today. You don't know how much your messages have helped me and even managed to make me smile. I love mumsnet X

OP posts:
marthamoo · 08/10/2004 18:58

One last (((HUG))) then...

DelGirl · 08/10/2004 18:58

monkey's eat banana's don't they? Use some of the promised dosh to treat yourself to lots of your favourite food.

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 18:59

I shall use my dowry to buy each and every mumsnetter a nice can of skol

OP posts:
DelGirl · 08/10/2004 19:00

skol????? do they still sell it? Did you not bring some nice drinkies back from Barthelona?

Original poster
spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 19:01

Yes I believe they do still sell skol, amazingly. No I didn't bring back any drinkies from barcelona, I'm not drinking anything at all at the moment for fear of it making me more mental.

OP posts:
DelGirl · 08/10/2004 19:03

Yes, that's a prob. At the time when you prob most feel like one, you can't. There's always Eisberg eeuuukkk.

tigermoth · 09/10/2004 07:09

spacemonkey, this thread has made me smile and well up with tears (and now I feel so satisfyingly knowledgeable about Charles Hawtry) I hope today is a bit easier for you.

I posted some secondary school looking advice for you on another thread and I probably sounded quite organised and together - and I was! But yeasterday I flipped. I spent the whole day close to tears, felt totally overloaded with stress. Everyone I was with that day (colleagues, husband) saw something was wrong with me and tried to sit me down and make me feel better. It's been a hell of a week - worrying about secondary school choice, exams, falling behind with primary school work and meetings, very busy at work, stress over the temporary nature of my job, various home crisis, lots of urgent journeys all over south london, afterschool childcare arrangements in a mess, husband has toothache and won't go to dentist without lots of prodding, and when our cat became ill again yesterday and needed to the vet for yet more expensive treatment it was the final straw. I was surprised how bad it made me feel as I see myself as coping well, able to plan and rationalise and get on top of things. It made me realise that I can only take so much, I am not immune from stress, it can happen to anyone given the circumstances.

Please don't feel bad about feeling bad. I know your ADs etc are making you feel wierd at the moment, so it must be much harder for you, but I hope the effects get better pdq and you have some fab people online and in real life this weekend who will get you through this.

ScummyMummy · 09/10/2004 08:48

spacemonkey- I missed this yesterday. Really hope you are feeling lots better today, honey. If you ever wanted someone to come over in those sorts of circs, I'd do it like a shot if I possibly could, you know, and chances are i could- we're not that far away. CAT me if you ever need to. xxxxx

Tigermoth- hope you feel better today too, honey.

WideWebWitch · 09/10/2004 10:37

Spacemonkey I missed this and am also thinking of you. Don't be so hard on yourself. And if your ex h was a shit husband then 200 quid's not nearly enough!

Original poster
spacemonkey · 09/10/2004 13:00

sorry to hear you've had such a stressful time tigermoth and thank you so much for your messages tm, sm and www. I went to stay with my dp last night, and he forced me out of bed first thing this morning before the lead weights had had a chance to descend. Feeling a lot better, but aware I can't come to rely on him too much.

Ex husband texted me again withdrawing the "shit husband" statement this morning. Fool.

OP posts:
suzywong · 09/10/2004 13:01

Buffoon.
ex husband, not you or cheeky rude DP

DelGirl · 09/10/2004 13:05

think you should say 'oh no exdh, you were so right the 1st time and for that, you can give me some more dosh' . glad you are feeling better today SM

tigermoth · 09/10/2004 19:37

Spacemonkey - hope those lead weights have lifted for all of today. Did your ex take back his shit husband statement only or did he take back the promise of the money as well? I'd accept the money whatever the sentiment behind it. Ok £200 sounds like a drop in the ocean compared to the wrongs he has done you. I don't know your full story, but I do know you can have lots of fun with £200!

I feel a bit better - have been rushing around all day, since 9.30. Took cat to new, cheaper vet, got hopelessly lost on the way, got son to his tuition class, dropped off smelly, shitty but better-for-now cat at home, picked up son, too both sons on long car journey to do various bits of boring but necessary shopping and banking. Lovely, just my sort of day...

Anyway, have done the things I needed to do and can relax now.

Original poster
spacemonkey · 09/10/2004 19:41

yes, lead weights have stayed off all day, and i had a lovely day with dp and ds wandering about portobello road, it was great

OP posts: