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Original poster

Help sorry don’t know if it’s the right place

37 replies

FreedomBird · 17/04/2020 18:31

I am feeling lonely and suicidal. I don’t want to cause alarm but I would like a hand hold this evening if anyone is around?

Don’t want to be a drama llama. Just need a friend.

I know chat isn’t the right place but please direct me to the right place. Thank you all

OP posts:
GaaaaarlicBread · 17/04/2020 18:34

Hi OP, I’m here if you need anyone. Want to message me? You’re in the right place a lot of people will be along before you know it. There is a mental health section on here too if you need to go there. Do you want to call any helplines ?
I’m here anyway, and many more will be.

Ipadipod · 17/04/2020 18:35

Hi , I’m sorry you are feeling unwell, you can report your Op and ask @mnhq to move it to mental health.

Is there anything in particular that has happened? X

Stacey21x · 17/04/2020 18:38

Hey OP,

I’m here, and others will be along soon.

Anything you need to get off your chest in particular? Or mundane chat? (Of which I have plenty at the moment)

RemotelessControl · 17/04/2020 18:39

I've just messaged some friends as I'm feeling low. Do you have anyone in RL?

Original poster
FreedomBird · 17/04/2020 18:45

Thank you. I do and I don’t. Im not actually alone but I am in company which I can’t be sad in. Does that make sense? I really dont want to be a drain on anyone and I’m cross with myself for being so sad. I just wish I could be not sad.

OP posts:
Grabbner · 17/04/2020 18:49

Hello Freedom, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Keep talking here but try the Samaritans too on their free number - 116 123.

Grabbner · 17/04/2020 18:50

Don’t be cross with yourself, we all feel sad sometimes. And those who love you will not see you as a drain.

Stacey21x · 17/04/2020 18:53

Your not a drain. This situation is unprecedented for anyone, we’re all just taking it a day at a time.

CharlieTPatteson · 17/04/2020 18:58

Hey- I’m here if you need me.

SittingAround1 · 17/04/2020 19:13

Hello. Yes it does makes sense that you can't be sad with the company your with, which probably makes things harder.

This is a very unusual situation we're all in. Have you been going out for walks ? I find that can help.

SittingAround1 · 17/04/2020 19:14

You're

Ohnoherewego62 · 17/04/2020 19:16

I'm here too!

Share whatever is on your mind!

This pandemic is draining on everyone!

Original poster
FreedomBird · 17/04/2020 19:18

I just feel so overwhelmed with it all. My mental health isn’t great normally. Let alone with lockdown. I’ve moved in with my partner and it’s all been super intense.
I just long to feel normal.
My mind goes straight to perhaps it being easier if i was not around but I know I could t do it because of my kids.

I just feel so lost right now.

Thank you for being present

OP posts:
Ernieshere · 17/04/2020 19:20

Its o.k to feel sad, and its even better to share it, because these feelings will come & go, can you see a G.P soon, maybe they can help put it to bed and let you carry on enjoying things again Flowers

P.S, I know you only wrote two posts, but you sound like such a nice kind person, you are very polite and thats because you care how you say things, that shows what a bloody lovely person you are Smile

Andahelterskelterroundmylittle · 17/04/2020 19:21

Hey OP, sorry to hear how you feel .I know exactly what you mean about being in company but still feeling like it's the end of the line. The times in my life I have felt this bad, no one would probably have known in the household. Lots of people are anonymous and want o hear and talk to.you. Please try

Original poster
FreedomBird · 17/04/2020 19:30

I am a nice person. But I have such a low opinion of myself! There lies my problem!!

I have so much love to give. But. Am also a twat. And I am very self serving and selfish. I would very much like to not be me.

I hate crying for help but also recognise that I need to! Because it would be a tragedy for me to do something silly.

I feel cross because I cry for help. I feel cross because I need help. But also in acknowledge I just need people.

I know what I’m saying is probably mumbled but I do appreciate being listened to. It’s all I need right now is to just not feel alone.

OP posts:
Ohnoherewego62 · 17/04/2020 19:36

Everyone needs an outlet and safe space to discuss things.

Living with a partner is hard work at times! Compromise is difficult!!! Is there anything particular at home that's stressful?

We all have a streak of selfish in us. Its human nature. It either gets less or much more as we age.

Self esteem is a bastard!!!! It can affect so so much of who we are! How many children have you got?

Ernieshere · 17/04/2020 19:36

You can work on the low opinion, do you think its self asteem? That can be sorted in time.

I'm selfish, probably quite a lot, because I have to put myself first, and I always will. (Well DD first, but I have to be well to care for her)

Yes, we can be there for other people of course, and I am kind as well, but if we are not kind to ourselves then we get tired, poorly, drained & low. So it is o.k to dedicate as much time as you need for yourself Flowers

MNHQ
FlissMumsnet · 17/04/2020 19:42

Hi FreedomBird,

We're so sorry to hear how sad you're feeling right now. We're glad you've posted and thanks to everyone who's offering their support to FreedomBird.

We hope you don't mind, but when users post about stuff like this we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We hope things will look a little better and brighter for you really soon.

Flowers
Original poster
FreedomBird · 17/04/2020 20:18

Thank you MNHQ!

OP posts:
Original poster
FreedomBird · 17/04/2020 20:24

I am used to dealing with my stress in my own way - largely going to bed! Having a nap. Which I know isn’t that productive but it is what I need sometimes.
Living with my DP is hard because o can’t do that.

I have two girls

OP posts:
dietcoker · 17/04/2020 20:27

Does your partner know how you're feeling just now? We are all here if it helps to just type and ramble!!! X

mumchkin · 17/04/2020 20:47

How you going OP? So sorry to hear this. Happy to call or VC you if you want to talk x

Original poster
FreedomBird · 17/04/2020 20:58

He sort of does and sort of doesn’t. The trouble is I spent maybe 50% of my time with him and 59% of my time alone. When I was alone I would mainly cope in my own way.

We were ready to move in but I perhaps don’t have the best of coping strategies. So I want to hide away and feel I can’t.
He does know. But he finds it hard. And I get it. I have a fine life. A happy life. I have nothing to complain about really... yet here I am feeling like I would rather not be alive than feel this pain.

I just wish I was normal. And didn’t wish these things.

OP posts:
Original poster
FreedomBird · 17/04/2020 20:58

I feel like a burden to those around me. A burden if I stay and a burden if I go.

OP posts: