Worries about starting citalopram. Please anyone with any experience??

[DandelionsDandelions]

So I have severe PTSD, and mixed anxiety/depression. Before this pandemic I mostly coped well with long term counselling and I worked full time, walked miles every day, done all household stuff.
However in the last month I broke down completely. Have what would be described as a nervous breakdown and can barely function. Barely eating, barely showering, almost constant panic attacks and crying. Never felt this way before. Got to an awful point on Tuesday where I called the GP. Prescribed citalopram and diazepam just a short supply until the citalopram kicks in.

However I had a better day yesterday did not start either meds and did all the housework I've missed although felt numb.

Now I'm worried to start the citalopram. I want to be making the right decisions, I don't want my judgement or vigilance to be impaired because I'm in a 'false' state of calm, if you see what I mean??

It sounds crazy and I really don't want to offend anyone, please believe me that's not my intention at all.

I've never been on medication before. How does it affect you?? Does it affect your decision making process?? I'm worried it will make me feel everything's fine and make me take risks.

I take 30mg of citalopram daily and it is a godsend. It hasn't had any noticeable negative impact on me, although you do need to give it time to settle and fully kick in; I think it took a good month or so to really settle in for me. It hasn't had any affect on my decision making processes. I work in a professional role with quite stressful, challenging work and I feel that if anything, my decision making is better because I'm less panicky.
For me, I don't feel like it made me feel fine or take risk. I'd describe it simply as taking some of the edge off. I still experience anxiety in certain circumstances and I was working on that with a psychologist before covid-19 took over. Citalopram is just part of the picture, along with appropriate therapy and self-calming methods. I definitely don't take risks. In fact, I still haven't achieved much other than getting from day to day, but I'm okay with that. For me, my anxiety forms an inability to travel or do anything spontaneously. I haven't travelled outside of my home city in years, and what travel I do do is limited to supermarkets close to home, etc.

Give citalopram a go. I was scared about starting it, but I've seen no negatives, only positives.

It affects everyone differently but broadly speaking antidepressants are there to start to take the edge off your symptoms and allow you to function a bit more and then with time improve your depression. The first 4-6 weeks can be rough as your body gets used to the medication and it can take this long to see any therapeutic benefit from the antidepressants, they aren't quick fixes. Citalopram is one of the go-to first antidepressants that gets prescribed as for most people it has relatively few side effects. For many people it is effective for others they need to try a few before finding the right one.

I take 40mg

The first few wweks were hard. I was tired. Nauseated. And had a jaw tremor.

Now I couldn't be without it. It's changed my life.

I didnt notice side effects when starting on it and it didnt see any negative aspects, it made me be able to think more rationally.

I've been on 40mg daily for the last 2 years. I started having panic attacks out of nowhere and was terrified. I could hardly function and being a single mum to a 2 year old at the time wasnt easy. Like pp have said, its been a godsend. I still have bouts of depression that I've struggled with for years but if I didnt take the meds I wouldn't be able to take care of dd or work or be happy.

The first few weeks it will feel like you're getting worse but that's just the chemicals in your brain getting used to the drug. Stick with it and you'll be glad you did. Keep in contact with your gp if after about 6 weeks you're not happy.

My experience of citalopram: it was, hands down, the best medication I have ever tried for depression. Many of them numb your emotions, so you feel nothing, bad or good, you just feel cooly neutral about everything. Citalopram gave me my life back and it felt like a wonder drug. But I stayed on it way too long (years) and it gradually zombified me. I became to laid back and happy I did nothing but sleep. Put on lots of weight and have never really regained my zest for life. So Imy personal experience is - it was a fantastic short term help but I wish i'd come off it far sooner. If once you are better you come off it really gradually, using a pill cutter to take 3/4 doses etc then you shouldn't get scary mood swings.
I'd still recommend it highly to anyone who is in a very bad way,. It made me feel happy and calm and 'myself' again which no other AD ever did. But once you have felt back to normal for a few weeks, start easing off. Don't leave it years.

my son has started on this a couple of weeks ago Hes already feeling a bit better and not freaking out as much, and hes had no side effects

Hi Dandelions,

I have been on citalopram for a few years now so can't remember how it affected me at first but it has been such a big help to me!

I view it as the citalopram helping me be more me again, without being the teary, quiver, anxious version of me I was before I started it. It hasn't made me more reckless or anything - it has helped me to be on an even keel with my mental health and be myself again and having the confidence to do the things I Used to do again - no radical personality changes or anything.

It will not change you - it will just help you to feel more like yourself again.
It doesn't have to be permanent either, but if you do start the course, make sure you give it a chance to work because these things can take a few weeks for you to see any difference.

I hope you begin to feel better soon.

It has changed my life and turned me from someone crippled by anxiety to a happy, healthy person

Thank you so much everyone for your considered responses.

I can't go on like this. I just had a massive panic attack, the worst I've ever had. I really can't go on like this. I'm terrified.

I will take the first tablet.

Did you get worse before you got better??

Hi OP. I agree with everyone else that taking citalopram is the best thing I've ever done. I'm on 30mg and feel so much better. I didn't get any worse, just found myself gradually able to cope more and more each day, panic less, worry less, sleep more etc.

My partner (of 13 years) is subtly threatening to split up if I take them. He is not being nice about the whole thing, just keeps telling me to pull myself together, but I just can't. Says he 'won't tolerate' me on such tablets.

With the greatest respect your partner is a pillock. Are they part of your problem, maybe? Please try not to influence your health. I know I'm lucky my DH was very supportive and has now learned my triggers so can help before I start to spiral.

That is ridiculous! What is his justification? Your doctor thought they might help, that is why they prescribed them. You are willing to give them ago. They are the only 2 opinions that count.

I was on 40mg of Citalopram for a year or so after being suicidally depressed. Along with CBT it got me through leaving my crap relationship, getting a new job, & two house moves. If I thought I needed it again in future I’d go back on it in a heartbeat.

I really think that a lot of your mental health symptoms will reduce if you just lose the tosser. I would call him a cunt but he lacks the warmth and depth of one. Who the fuck is he to say he will or won't tolerate you taking a medication that you need. Fuck that! Who the hell does he think he is? You may or may not need Citalopram (worth trying btw) but what you definitely need is a healthy dose of self respect! Get shot of him.

He doesnt want you to take the pills, because he knows if you get better and start feeling more stable and in control, you'll realise that he's a waste of space and you'll have the strength to leave. Its much nicer for him to have a depressed, anxious GF who he can bully for being unhappy without having to worry about her fighting back.

Another one on citralopram and doing very well. I fully agree that it helps me be me rather than me being squished by depression.

Why is your partner opposed to you taking medication to help your moods? He is usually supportive? You can’t just pull yourself together, anymore than you can mend a broken leg yourself.

Your partner is a wanker. Is he part of the problem?

I've been on citalopram for prob 10 years. Bloody brilliant things. My life is not numb or emotion-free. It is minus suicidal thoughts, mainly.

Life changing.

When I was at my lowest with horrendous pnd I was prescribed 60mg citalopram. They don’t even give that dose anymore I don’t think. This was 16 years ago. It literally saved my life. After about a year on it I went down to 30mg and then over the next 2 years weaned myself off it and have never needed to take anti depressants again - I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with taking them permanently - my dh has bipolar and takes them long term - but I’m just saying how life changing it was for me and that even at a very high dose I didn’t need to be on them forever but they really worked.!

OP, I didn't get worse before I got better on Citalopram. It worked very quickly. I think it has a fast half life. The one to watch if you are feeling really down is Prozac as it can take ages to have a beneficial effect. I wouldn't hesitate to take it in your situation. And if I ever felt really severely depressed again, it would be my first choice of rapid-response medication.

I don't remember any bedding in issues. Maybe jittery legs and clampy jaw? Small price to pay tbh. The clampy jaw has gone completely and the jittery legs have calmed down to almost nil.

Antidepressants aren't like tranquillisers. ADs put back the feelgood chemicals that have switched off because of long term stress responses that have switched them off: ADs just get them firing again. So, in essence, they give you back yourself, not someone else!

Your partner sounds like a wanker. Sorry

*put back the natural feelgood chemicals btw

Your partner is an asshole. Don't tolerate him. You deserve to feel better. I suspect getting rid of him will help.

Op I started feeling better within 2 days of taking it. I had terrible anxiety and pnd. Now I just feel normal, just like me again. I'm actually finding enjoyment and happiness again. It worked very quickly and other than mild headaches have had no side effects. My sleep is much better too.

The only side effect I had was heavier periods. When my GP & I agreed I was ready to come off, I did it over several months, lowering the dose very slowly, and that was absolutely fine.

Initially, though, I was on 20mg and it didn’t help. It was going up to 40mg, the max dose nowadays, that did it. And some people find Citalopram doesn’t help them but then another AD does. So it’s also very worth feeding back to your GP and working together on getting it right.