Worries about starting citalopram. Please anyone with any experience??

[DandelionsDandelions]

So I have severe PTSD, and mixed anxiety/depression. Before this pandemic I mostly coped well with long term counselling and I worked full time, walked miles every day, done all household stuff.
However in the last month I broke down completely. Have what would be described as a nervous breakdown and can barely function. Barely eating, barely showering, almost constant panic attacks and crying. Never felt this way before. Got to an awful point on Tuesday where I called the GP. Prescribed citalopram and diazepam just a short supply until the citalopram kicks in.

However I had a better day yesterday did not start either meds and did all the housework I've missed although felt numb.

Now I'm worried to start the citalopram. I want to be making the right decisions, I don't want my judgement or vigilance to be impaired because I'm in a 'false' state of calm, if you see what I mean??

It sounds crazy and I really don't want to offend anyone, please believe me that's not my intention at all.

I've never been on medication before. How does it affect you?? Does it affect your decision making process?? I'm worried it will make me feel everything's fine and make me take risks.

I take Citalopram for PMS and it is fantastic! I currently take 20mg daily. I don't remember having any side effects when I began taking it, other than being a bit more tired than usual.

Citalopram is the best medicine for stress I've ever tried, apart from diazepam. I don't think it affected my sensibility like other antidepressants can, although I only took it for a few days because it caused vivid hallucinations. These were not scary at all. You will know yourself whether to continue or not.

Dear Dandelions,

I am a counselling psychologist and I don't prescribe medication (not part of my role) or encourage it as such. However, in circumstances when people feel they might be harm themselves or others, antidepressants can be life saving.

I can understand why you would be very concerned about the possible side-effects of citalopram. May I ask what dosage has been given to you? You may already know this, this medicine is a new generation drug (SSRIs), so it generally has fewer side effects. Also the effects of antidepressants can take between 3 and 4 weeks to take effect. Generally speaking the symptoms that these drugs target are the ones which are your basic bodily functions (e.g. appetite, sleep, feeling very fatigued).

I would advise (if you feel this is right for you) to engage in some self-help reading. This in conjunction with taking medication will do more good than harm. I do realise that it is easy said than done!

Overcoming depression by Paul Gilbert is a very useful self-help book that I usually prescribe to patients. Have you considered a referral for talking therapies? I am not sure which area of the UK you are currently residing but these psychotherapy services are usually set up fairly well nationwide. Please let me know if you are interested in this and I can email you some self-help resources.

I know it must be so frustrating at the moment, with the current lockdown. Try to get as much support as you can, connecting with family and friends online (those that are a positive presence).

You will get through this difficult time

I helped me to function and bought me some much needed mental space. Only mildly annoying side effect was that it took away my ability to orgasm (sensations dulled so I couldn't *get there or train of thought drifted off) but tbh that was the last thing I was worried about at the time!

I can't understand why your partner would be so negative. None of his business! As the saying goes before you get a diagnosis of depression first make sure you are not surrounded by arseholes.

Best of luck OP. X

I have taken citalopram, paroxetine, fluoxetine and sertraline and of those I feel they citalopram was the only one that really worked. Had no probs with it all but was taken off it as I have a heart condition so was contraindicated.

I would highly recommend it!

Been on citalopram for 13 years, it’s been absolutely fine and made a huge difference. I was also on diazepam for the first three weeks until it fully kicked in, then I had no more need for the diazepam. I probably don’t have the highs and lows of emotions I would have without it, but it hasn’t blurred my feelings or senses at all. I hold down a very busy and responsible job, plus looking after my family, and I know it helps me cope.

I'm just checking back in. Thank you so much for all the supportive replies.

I did start taking the tablets 2 days ago. On the advice of my counsellor, not telling partner at this time. To my surprise I started feeling better a few hours after the first tablet. I really really don't think it's a placebo effect. I have been in some state the past month, some of the ways I've reacted actually scared me. I feel calmer like the panic can't 'reach' me as much and I am a bit more energetic and able to get up and do things although still hard it's not almost impossible like it was. Able to think about my interests for short times.

I'm pleasantly surprised. I thought they'd take weeks to kick in. Hoping it continues because it's really scary how I was getting so mentally ill.

Side effects have been nausea a couple hours after I take the tablet, adrenaline surge/tingly feelings esp in arms, and the worst - I have overactive and painful bladder for many years and it's definitely increased since I started the tablets, feels 'dry' inside and harder to begin peeing (tmi) and therefore sore and frequency.

They are really helping my mental health so far so I'm hoping that side effect goes away.

OP, I'm glad they helped. They worked immediately for me too and it's not placebo, as Fluoxetine took months to work and I was really desperate at the time to feel an upturn in mood. Side effects rarely last more than two weeks. Stick with it.

Today I spent an hour brushing out the matted clumps in my hair that had been caused by not brushing it for a month.

My DC are Mid Teen and Pre Teen and the Pre Teen has always been 50/50 contact at dad's ('partners') house nearby, he collects and drops off. It's been like wading through treacle I've spent hours each morning talking myself through bad panic attacks upon waking, getting the energy just to clean kitchen and bathroom, remind them to shower and brush teeth etc, interact very little, and feed and water them three times a day. I literally ceased most functions, and it was only for them I managed the basics. My sister left supplies of 'healthy' micro type meals and fruit etc for the DC on my doorstep. I managed to roll Easter eggs with them on the balcony for a few minutes, and watch their gaming a couple of times. I feel like a terrible mother. I should be able to cope for their sakes. Past 2 days I've been able to cook normally. I hope the citalopram keeps working.

My family have been good to me despite us not being that close, having their own busy lives and about 20 miles away. They've listened to me sobbing down the phone uncontrollably whilst trying to do their own Kids bedtimes, and they've brought me whatever I needed shopping wise. My dad went out one night to bring shopping for me when I couldn't face it. I am so grateful to them.

I hope I'm getting better

Thanks @ellanwood interesting that they worked for you quickly too. May I ask, did they continue working for you after the first few days??

I was trying to overcome 'it' on my own for weeks, I'm no stranger to mental health issues (although never taken meds), but I am glad I tried, because i think when it got to this point I'm not able to overcome it without medication and counselling/family help.

I'm just really hoping the bladder side effects go away in time, cause it's painful and affecting my sleep (which the citalopram is helping also)

They really did keep working. In fact they were an absolute life saver for several years. But I stayed on them too long and ended up very slowed down and overweight. Don't let that put you off, though. I don't regret them for a minute. They changed my life for the better for a very long time.
Glad you are feeling better. Small steps. Good to know you are starting with self care and aware that you want to interact more with your DC. Those are such positive signs. to you. I know how it feels.

@ellanwood Thanks. Hopefully this pandemic will end and I'm hoping so so much that everything will be OK. Then if things are OK I can come off and cope like before.

I've not noticed weight gain at all on citalopram. And I'm a foodie!

I think it's a huge step forward you've brushed your hair. I know how impossible that seems when you're really ill, it's such a good sign. Bravo 👍

In a similar position with regards to starting citalopram @DaffodilsDaffodils and I'm due to collect them tomorrow.. i have nothing to add so far, but reading the accounts on here has reassured me to the point i will collect them and take one straight away..

@zombiepara Good luck with taking them. I too felt reassured by the replies, just needed that push to start taking them. I haven't had many side effects so far and I think they are helping already. If you want to, post again to let us know how you get on.

Worked really well for me, but it made me sleepy. Or maybe 2 babies and a husband away on tour in a warzone made me sleepy and the unmedicated anxiety kept me awake. I came off it due to the sleepiness, but if it wasn't for that I'd still be on it now.

Worked really well for me, but it made me sleepy.

I tried a few different times of day & found that taking it just before bed worked best for me.