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Original poster

EH died 4 years ago. I just found out

40 replies

kerrymucklowe2020 · 15/04/2020 15:02

Found out he died in his sleep. He was 40. Am gutted. ( Found out as somehow stumbled across an old local newspaper on the internet ). Am gutted. Feel awful. Hadn't seen him since 2013. Feel so upset

OP posts:
WhatTheFuckSusan · 15/04/2020 15:29

What does EH stand for?

Original poster
kerrymucklowe2020 · 15/04/2020 15:30

Ex husband

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 15/04/2020 15:32

This reply has been deleted

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WhatTheFuckSusan · 15/04/2020 15:33

How long were you married for?

ChockyBicky · 15/04/2020 15:39

Well you shared part of your life together and were close enough to marry at one point so I can understand you feeling some sadness.

Original poster
kerrymucklowe2020 · 15/04/2020 15:41

You hadn’t seen him in 7 years, were unaware he died 4 yrs ago, you were hardly close enough to be ‘gutted/so upset'

You DO realise this is a "Mental Health" section?

OP posts:
IamAporcupine · 15/04/2020 15:45

You hadn’t seen him in 7 years, were unaware he died 4 yrs ago, you were hardly close enough to be ‘gutted/so upset’

Hmm
DailyKegelReminder · 15/04/2020 15:45

Well being married is kind of a big deal, no need to explain why you're upset. 40 is no age either so I can imagine the shock you were in OP.

IamAporcupine · 15/04/2020 15:46

@kerrymucklowe2020 - I can totally understand. Would/could you talk to any family members maybe?

Flamingnorahs · 15/04/2020 15:46

I'm sorry to hear this. Not the same but my ex boyfriend died at the end of January this year. I didn't hear until march. We were together 3 years but had not spoken for about 18 years although I heard he still asked about me. We were both in separate marriages and started new families since then but I was really sad when I found out. I felt as if part of my past had died! I completely understand how upset you must be feeling. He was a huge part of your life, must have been the most important person to you then. Take time to grieve and dont listen to anyone who says you shouldn't have feelings like this.

anguauberwaldironfoundersson · 15/04/2020 15:52

Wow some cruel posting there!

I can totally understand. No where near as close as your situation but I found out an old fling from work had passed away from cancer - we worked together for only 12 months and were together for only a few of those (rebound for me out of an abusive marriage - my colleague was lovely and we ended it amicably) but it still shook me up when I heard he had died despite not seeing him for four years or so. He was so young and had young children. It knocked me so I cant imagine how deeply you must be feeling this loss.

Sorry for your loss and be kind to yourself x

RedWine123 · 15/04/2020 15:55

@JKScot4 I see you on almost every thread I read, always so dismissive of people's posts. Why do you bother commenting if you are just so negative and unhelpful? Why this need to put people down? Get help plz.

OP, sorry to read this. He was far too young. It's sad to hear of someone's passing when you have such memories with the person. It's no surprise you are gutted.

BlingLoving · 15/04/2020 16:12

Of course you're upset. He was a major part of your life. Sorry to hear this OP.

IHaveAMagicBean · 15/04/2020 16:21

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IHaveAMagicBean · 15/04/2020 16:23

@RedWine123, sorry but I have to agree with @JKScot4.
I don’t remember the bit where it says we must only be positive and jolly on our comments, sometimes the truth hurts.

Crazybunnylady123 · 15/04/2020 16:25

I’d be upset if my ex boyfriend died. Because I loved him very much, he was someone I shared my life with albeit only for two and a half years but the feelings were real. It’s only natural to feel this way, just own your feelings and let yourself process the loss.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/04/2020 16:27

It doesn’t matter that you lost contact. You are still entitled to be incredibly sad. Flowers

Rivergreen · 15/04/2020 16:27

@IHaveAMagicBean Another nasty nasty comment. There are plenty of people I think very fondly not who I rarely speak to and would be very upset if they died. Perhaps consider swapping your magic bean for some empathy?

OP, it's as a pp said, he was a big part of your life once and you will need to grieve for your history and past connection. Give yourself time and perhaps consider doing something personal to help commemorate this life? Even if it is just planting a tree or donating to a cause that meant something to him / you both when you were together?

Rivergreen · 15/04/2020 16:28

*his life not this life

Wannabangbang · 15/04/2020 16:29

I can understand why you are upset, you once shared a life together. You can't erase memories and it's going to be a shock when someone once so close dies especially at the age of 40

iklboo · 15/04/2020 16:37

I don’t remember the bit where it says we must only be positive and jolly on our comments, sometimes the truth hurts.

Wow. Just wow. Your version of the 'truth' to a perfect stranger? Nice. Nowhere does it say you have to be spiteful either.

BacklashStarts · 15/04/2020 16:40

I don’t think that is the truth. You may lose touch with someone but they were still significant to you and those memories are no less affecting for them time that passes. 40 is also very young so an extra shock.

V sorry OP

Wannabangbang · 15/04/2020 16:47

Ignore the meanies op, so sorry for your lossFlowers

DailyKegelReminder · 15/04/2020 17:05

How grim and sad do you have to be to come on the Mental health section and start on the OP. Pathetic.

pinkpinecone · 15/04/2020 17:09

I'm sally sorry to hear this OP. It is totally understandable that you are upset. Ignore the nasty comments, no one has any right to tell you how you should feel.