EH died 4 years ago. I just found out

[kerrymucklowe2020]

Found out he died in his sleep. He was 40. Am gutted. ( Found out as somehow stumbled across an old local newspaper on the internet ). Am gutted. Feel awful. Hadn't seen him since 2013. Feel so upset

I've not seen my ex boyf for upwards of 15 years, but I'd still be devastated if he died. I don't have him on social media, because we're no longer 'friends' and he lives far away but he was an important part of my life for 4 years. I find it a bit strange that folk don't understand that.

You obviously weren't very close as you weren't in contact, otherwise you would have known about it before now. 4 years is a long time!

Mx ex first love died 20 odd years after we split up, I was very upset at the time and still think of him, taken too young, left two children. It is such a sad thing to hear of someone who meant so much to you at a time in your life. I was lucky enough to see him shortly before his death.

Gosh, I haven’t seen my ex boyfriend since 2009 but I’d still be gutted if he died. I loved him. We stopped being in contact because we both found new partners and his now wife wasn’t keen on him being friends with an ex. We spent 7 years of our lives together!
Hope you’re ok OP.

Also when my brother died all his ex girlfriends came to the funeral (he had quite a lot of them!) and all were upset.

That is sad op. I'm sorry. I was upset when I found out my ex boyfriend had died too some years back.

You obviously weren't very close as you weren't in contact, otherwise you would have known about it before now. 4 years is a long time!

Where does the OP say they were 'close'?

I'm sorry to hear how upset you are. Do you think you are upset as in sadness that someone you once were going to spend your life with has died so prematurely or are you actually grieving? Everyone is different, so just because other posters are saying they wouldn't care about someone they hadn't spoken to in 4 years had died, doesn't mean that you can't be upset. Your feelings are valid.

I can understand your upset

I properly grieved when my (abusive) exh died. I left him (yay!) and there was no love lost between us shall we say..

But I kind of fell in love with him all over again. Sort of. Very confusing time - it's called a complex bereavement and I had to get some bereavement support for a while.

We had kids and it was also a sudden death, so my grief was partly for our kids, too. Very confusing and updating.

I can't imagine how hard it is to find out 4 years later - I'm so sorry. Do get some support for this (when the madness is over..)

Take care 💐🌹

*upsetting not updating

Just googled grief when an ex dies

Just googled that-Thank you

Oh dear. Not a good day

What do you mean?