I've had a really terrible few years. Miscarriage caused depression. I then started therapy but my boss was shitty about it and started trying to force me out of my job so went through tribunal which took a long time. I won but it didn't really make me feel any better and a lot of damage was done to my mental health during the court stuff.
I was so suicidal during all of the legal proceedings that I got a lot of therapy: CBT, counselling, CAT, but I was feeling so crap that none of it did much. I was so extreme in my reactions to everything that a nurse who I met twice decided I had BPD and I had to really fight to challenge that. My friend, who is a psychologist, thought I had PTSD but the psychiatrist was really dismissive of this and said I hadn't really seen or experienced anything life-threatening so it was just severe depression and anxiety. My GP was great and then I was also referred to the CMHT and my nurse was great, but it only took one small thing to throw me back to suicidal thoughts and thinking that death was the only way out of everything. GP and a therapist thought PTSD was right but diagnosis remained depression.
Last month, a medical study was released that showed that miscarriages can cause PTSD. It's made me really angry that the mental health people just dismissed it when it was raised. I'm currently avoiding my GP and CPN because I'm so angry about it that I know I will get upset if I tell them this because there's nothing that can be done about it now - all the patterns of thinking are so ingrained that the time for whatever would have been the right treatment has passed. It's also not their fault.
I just can't see the point in anything and my head just goes back to saying "I want to be dead" and obsessing over suicide methods. While this is not new, I've always had something waiting (new meds, new therapy, end of tribunal) that someone would say might help and I would think ok, worth a try. But I don't feel I trust the mental health team anymore and I can't see the point in keeping trying new stuff when I ultimately feel too broken to fix.