I don't know what's happened to me

[madparrotlady12]

Please I need help . I literally woke up a week ago looks a totally different person . I'm usually very happy go lucky . Love talking to everyone in work . Making people happy . Always wanting to do something and not be stuck in the house . Could easily manage on 3-4 hours sleep a night due to the nature of my job . But a week ago everything changed. I woke up and felt completely empty . It started New Year's Eve . Just felt really anxious and tearful . Then New Year's Day still felt the same but wanting to be on my own . I have felt like it ever since . I can't cope in work anymore time is dragging and I just want to walk out . People have commented after just 5 mins of seeing me saying am I ok I seek really quiet . My boyfriend seemed to struggle with my mood so I have put a brave face on and am trying my best to be ok . But I don't want him here . Iv come home early from work just so I can have a few hours to myself . When I know he's on his way home I feel really anxious . Then sit next to him all night just wishing the time away so I can go to bed . I'm sleeping about 14 hours a day . Then nodding off constantly throughout the day . I start work at 3 am and used to have no problem getting up now I'm forcing myself to get up and just cry in the car on the way to work . I just feel lost and empty . If it was possible I would up and leave everything and everyone and just go . I went to bed at ten last night and woke up at 10 this morning it took me over two hours to get the strength to get out of bed and now I'm just laying on the sofa no energy to do anything at all or see anyone . Has this happened to anyone else ? I'm 32 . Everything just feels so hard work and overwhelming even simple things like making dinner makes me want to cry because in my head it's just so hard work 😓. X

Also I forgot to say something happened a few days ago in work . I was feeling extremely sad and just sat down on the floor . Then in my head there was non stop talking . I couldn't work out what these voices were saying there were so many of them . But it scared me . They did eventually stop and I have not had it since . If I didn't have responsibilities I would quit my job right now . The thought of having to go back tomorrow is killing me

You’ve articulated it very well. It could be a bout of depression. Make an emergency doctors appointment tomorrow, perhaps get someone else to make it for you, and show them what you have typed above.

You poor thing. If you were only getting 3-4 hours' sleep a night due to your job it sounds as if you might have burnt out. Decide now that you're not going to work tomorrow, phone in sick and get to the GP. You sound depressed and exhausted. You should probably mention the voices too, although could they have been a result of extreme exhaustion? You don't sound well enough to go to work OP xx

Sudden changes like that can be an infection of some kind or something else going on (I had similar recently and it was a bartonella infection). Definitely get checked out and explain like you have here. Hope you feel better soon.

How old are you? What is your cycle like?

General health?

Thankyou so much for your replies they mean a lot . I was thinking I may have depression. I have suffered badly with anxiety for years but felt quite happy these last few months because I have managed to live with it without it scaring me . I have been really ill with a chest infection . I have had it since Christmas Eve . Haven't moved off the sofa for the week I had off . Been off my food and have been sick with it . The doctors give me antibiotics on New Year's Eve but it still hasn't clearers in my chest so maybe it could be this ? I think maybe me feeling exhausted could be a symptom but the sadness I feel is making me think no . I definitely think I am over worked and especially before Christmas. I had a lot of extra work to do so was working a good 15-16 hours a day then getting home cleaning . Cooking sorting everything out for my boyfriend and daughter 😴. Then starting it all over again every single day . I also work weekends too today is my only day off until may x

Hi hamster . 😀 I am 32 I'm rather fit apart from anxiety. I'm on the pill so every 28 days but i thought it could be that that's causing my
Low mood so stopped taking it a few days ago a bit sadly still feel the same x

The pill made me feel like that quite suddenly. Vitamin B12 helped.

But also sounds more likely the illness is causing it. Don’t freak out, just take care of your health and see how you feel once the chest infection is resolved.

Back to the GP tomorrow OP, insist on an emergency appointment. None of us can diagnose but such sudden and dramatic changes in your mood and energy levels definitely need checking by a doctor.

Can you explain a bit more about your boyfriend 'struggling with your mood' though? I would be really concerned about my DH if his mood suddenly dipped like this and he was sleeping all the time so I'm a bit worried about why you feel you have to put a brave face on and 'sort everything out' for him? Shouldn't he be looking after you?

Hi Hannah I definitely feel like the pill has played a part with my mental health. I think it's made me rather snappy . I'm not a snappy person. It these last few months things have been getting to me a bit but then it might be the fact that I am doing too much x

Hi hiding to nothing . I have been wanting to go to the doctors about this but I can't cry in front of anyone I know that sounds stupid but the thought of them asking me questions and then me breaking down in front of them makes me feel really uncomfortable. I always have found it hard to express my feelings with people . None of my friends have seen me cry my daughter has never seen me cry and she's 14. But I am thinking of writing a letter and just giving it to him. My boyfriend is very hard to explain . I don't know weather he can't deal with low moods because it makes him feel low or that I just get on his nerves but he came home two days ago and I was really different I didn't hug him when get got in . Barely spoke to him then he started to get angry with me saying I haven't got anything to feel sad or stressed about . And he is right but then he makes me really anxious then because he won't talk to me for a few days and be in one hell of a mood with me for feeling sad . I cant deal with that right now so I apologised and put a brave face on . I do everything for everyone . Well my daughter and partner . They don't left a finger when they get home . I feel like I am lazy and a let down if I don't get things ready and organised for them . But for a few days at the start of my chest infection he was a big help he made food and cleaned a bit so I was very grateful of that . I did say I was going to give up a few jobs after Christmas but there's always something else to worry about then ain't it . Holidays . We are buying a house this year too so then there's that to save for too . I really just hope every second that I'm going to just snap out of it x

How long have you been on this particular one? I’d get some B12 pills today and start them. Can’t hurt, anyway.

I was about 30 when this happened and on a new type. After a while I noticed that I was actually completely unemotional. Like you could burn my house down and I wouldn’t care a bit. That’s when a friend told me about the B12 depletion being a side effect. I was amazed at how quickly it resolved and I was back to my normal emotional state.

I can't take the pill, it makes me very irritable. I think some people are more sensitive to hormonal stuff!

The letter is a great idea, I've done that in the past. I suffer recurrent depression though so I have no shame these days, I just go in and sob I think PP's are right that you're burned out though, and I'm not surprised if you're the only one doing anything, that needs to change

I have been on and off the pill for years because it makes me into a crazy person lol . Even my boyfriend breathing was enough to make me think about smothering him in his sleep 😂 I'm on cilest now but it's not made me that crazy but defo less patient than I normally am . Iv just managed a shower now and I'm going to go looking for some vitamins with b12 I really hope it helps . I can tell things were going bad with me when I didn't shower for 3 days over Christmas!! Now I am a big clean freak pretty bad ocd I shower twice a day . I could even smell myself so god help my poor boyfriend lol one night he even said to me I ain't getting into the clean sheets like that 😂! It's such an odd feeling tho. I just had a little cry upset is because my boyfriend just said he was on his way home and it takes all my remaining energy just to make conversation with him and cook his food ect . But on the other hand I felt like I wish I could just be like this in front of him and let it all out maybe I would feel a tiny bit better about things . To the outside world everything is perfect for me . We both make a good amount of money . But it's not just handed to us we both work really time consuming tiring jobs . Nice car we have a nice house now but obviously going in for another one this year we go on lovely holidays . There's no cheating or never has been any cheating between us so no issues or insure feelings that could of stemmed from that . So I think that that's why he gets annoyed with me for being like this because i don't really have any reason to be . I haven't got over the death of my nan mind and I know a lot of my sadness is due to that . She died on my birthday . I didn't have the best of relationships with my mother growing up . You could say she was my mother and my safe place . Everything seemed so much better with her around . I loved her so much that I used to think that even if nothing worked out for me as long as I had her that's all I would need . Just me and her . She died last year . Pretty quickly. I never went a day with out either seeing her or talking to her . So it's been awful . But one thing always stays in my mind . My nan always thought the world of me and always said that she wishes that I was her daughter . Without me she wouldn't want to carry on ect. My grandad died a month before I was born so I think I was a big distraction for her . She didn't talk much a few weeks before she died . She just lay there . Then this one day I went to see her and she was on her own . In hospital. She was trying to eat so I started feeding her and she started talking . Non stop ' it was as if she had a huge burst of energy . She held my hand and for an hour she was telling me how much she loved me and always would . Saying to me that you know how much I have always loved you and just you and when she gets out she wants me and her to live together. I thought she was actually going to come out and be ok . But she didn't . The day she died it was horrible . I had got to her side half an hour before she went . I was holding her hand telling her I loved her and that was it . It still feels like yesterday that feeling of everything just stopping . I felt so little and alone . That night I was on my own . My boyfriend was working away . I phoned him but he said he couldn't anwser because the man he was sharing a room with was sleeping . I wanted to sleep down my mothers house so I packed a bag and got there and she told me no she wanted to be on her own . So I went back home with my daughter . And had to put a brave face on not for her to know I was sad . We drive around for an hour in the car before actually going home I had only moved in to the house the day before so it wasn't a place I really wanted to go to to feel safe . I know that I haven't got over all this . But I doubt that has made me feel like this now all of a sudden ? Or is it possible . X

Just realised how much I am mumbling on lol . It feels so nice being able to get things out even if it is to people I don't know . I just want to Thankyou all for talking to me . It's mad how much better I am feeling right now . I don't feel so alone x

It’s totally possible and even likely!
Grief along with being sick recently and the pill. All of these are probably contributing. One alone would be enough. I think you sound like a strong person whose held in the grief but now with having been sick your energy is low and it’s all coming out.

((((Hugs)))) it’s going to be ok.

Thankyou Hannah . I think you could be right . I didn't take anytime off after she died . I think everyone thought I just didn't cate but it was my only way of coping . Not having the time to think and deal with it . I wasn't even going to go to her funeral just incase I cried in front of people but obviously changed my mind about going last minute. New Year's Eve I did start to get sad and thought about going in to a new year that my nan isn't going to be part of x

Talk as much as you like here OP, no one minds Your Nan sounds amazing, I'm so sorry for your loss I lost my Nan 3 years ago and still miss her, we spoke every day too. And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if grief wasn't at least part of why you're feeling like this, it doesn't sound like you've had any time or space to process those emotions at all.

I'll be honest though your boyfriend sounds really unsupportive, and you sound lovely so I'm a bit baffled why you would settle for being treated like that, you deserve (and could do) much better

I think holding everything in all the time is really unhealthy and eventually catches up with you and your health suffers....you’ve had lots to deal with and I admire your ‘brave face’ approach but you need to let off steam and be yourself sometimes 😬

I understand not wanting others to see your emotions. I feel like that also, like I’m weak when I express myself in front of others. And it feels so private.

It keeps us from getting too close to loved ones, though. And we can’t always be robots.

Maybe if you can find a tangible way to honor and mourn your Nan, it will help.

I think the kind of life you’ve lead so far has caught up with you. You said you start work at 3 am. That’s very bad on the long term. As for only sleeping 3-4 hours a night...are you serious? How long have you been living like this. Get a day job, sleep through the night and start looking after yourself.

Hi everyone sorry I have took so long to reply . I was feeling a little bit better last night and this morning in work wasn't as bad as it has been but again I left early and as soon as I got in I slept up until half hour ago ! And now I feel pretty crap again . My boyfriend just got home and there were too many shoes by the front door so I just heard him kicking them all in to the living room which put him in a mood and made me feel more anxious 😟. He's ok now mind thankgod usually his moods can last days . It's mad because I used to love coming home to watch as much tv as possible and now all I want to come home for is sleep . I have been working these long hours for over two years now . I know it's time to cut down even if it's just the weekends . I have give up a lot of work from last year mind . I was starting at 2-45 am and then working on until 9 pm at night . I done that for a year. Now I think how stupid I was to do that . Wouldn't even do it for a million pounds right now 😂. I have a water infection today too . Iv been prone to them constantly ever since having my daughter . So that's making me feel a little worse . I can't wait until spring is here ! I love the light mornings . All this darkness brings my mood down a a lot too . I also went back on my cbd paste today . Has anyone else ever tried that ? Hope you are all having a lovely day x

Hidingtonothing. I'm really sorry to hear about your nan passing ❤️ it doesn't get any easier with time does it . It scares me when I think that before long my nans generation will be gone . I think with today's society manners , compassion and just general friendly ness is going . Like I used to love and still love talking to the old people about their lives . How interesting it was for them growing up ect and in years to come the only thing there will be to talk about is how children spent their lives in their phones x

Hi OP, have you tried d-mannose for the water infections? Miracle stuff