Wife don’t want me 8 days gone 🤦‍♂️😢☠️

[Brad55]

Hi All,

I’m 46 my wife 37 we have a lovely 5 year old boy and nice life or so I thought it’s been a difficult few months I didn’t have a job suffered a little bit with anxiety which is not easy for her I know that but on 13/12/19 I text her to ask if there was anyone else as felt there was a distance between us, and that was that BANG!!!!!!!!! She said she had been talking to someone else at gym and had too many feelings for him and couldn’t get us back Whooosh!!!!!!! My heart sank, she said we had drifted apart, very true but only married 30 months and she wants to throw it away, no reconciliation is available she doesnt want to give it a chance I’ve done all begging I can for 7 days since but now know I have to stop problem is we have to stay together till Boxing Day for our 5 year old then I’m off to my mums for least a week to get some time, I sat watching telly last night with her and she was constantly texting him while we build my sons toys for Xmas, gut wrenching painful, suicidal yes, what to do I don’t know but Xmas eve today worst one yet...

Brad
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I'm so sorry for you but you'll be better,happier without her. You were only good when you had money for her,apparently.
Some women don't have feelings,they only see money and fun time for themselves.
Make sure you seek a solicitor to know exactly what to do in your situation.
You have to be strong for you and your child. Good luck!

@Brad55 aw that must be so incredibly painful. Advice to you would be to put all your energy and effort into your child. Make it a great Xmas for him. Do you have any family you can reach out to? Let her carry on doing what she is doing because she is being a fool. Let her txt this person while you focus on your son.

I’m so sorry 💐

I won’t fob you off with platitudes, but things always turn out to be more bearable than you imagine and you will have joy in your life again.

In the meantime try to shift some of the nervous energy you’ll probably be overwhelmed with into practical matters like making a list of joint liabilities and gathering copies of paperwork that you are both named on (mortgage, bank accounts, etc).

In all probability you’ll have another conundrum next year when she returns, having discovered that the grass is not greener. Your problem then will be deciding whether you risk taking her back.

Stay strong for your little boy.

Time will heal 💐

Why are you leaving for your mums?
She’s leaving you for another man. That’s adultery.
She should leave you and your son at your home and go live with him.
You shouldn’t be the one to be forced to walk out on your son. Youve upheld your marriage vows and done nothing wrong.

If you're suicidal Brad please see if you can get an emergency GP appointment today, or call the Samaritans. You must be in agony trying to play happy families for your little boy while she's sitting there texting her new man.

For your sanity, please stop begging. Focus on what you need to do to get through the next three days until you can get some headspace. Can you call a friend and go out for a drink with them this evening? Who knows about this? If the answer is no one you need to rally your support network so you don't feel so alone and desperate. Tell your family, tell your friends, tell them you're feeling low and need their support.

and hang in there. This is the number for Samaritans. Call them and don't do anything to harm yourself www.samaritans.org/

Hello OP, just to re-iterate what zafferana posted above, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Just offering some support to you Brad - you're not alone. I'm a similar age to you, and my partner of 8 years left me earlier this year for someone else. It hurt like crazy at the time, but you will get over this.

Just focus on getting through each day at a time. Sometimes just one step at a time. Spending time with your mum will help too, and now is the time to reach out to friends.

Thank you all so much for your comments I forgot to say the guy she has left me for is married with 2 teenage daughters so she can’t live there and has no family here as she’s Eastern European I don’t want my son to be messed around but will be back in the home shortly just need space right now ....

Hi All,

Made it to Xmas day night the worst 9 days of my life all leading up to Xmas my little boy in bed now my cheating wife in other room probably still texting what does it matter she doesn’t care my family over for Xmas dinner today for my boy actually admired her for making the dinner and being pleasant she’s a tough cookie lot more tougher than me anyway off for few days tomorrow wow I need it, go for a jog maybe hit the pub and who knows what else but you know what things are changing already got to be strong for my boy he will need me thank you all for comments before they all helped xx

Glad you made it through Christmas and sorry it was such a tough one.

Glad you got through it OP and are looking forward to spending some time away. You do need to put your boy first, but take care of yourself too. You can't be strong for him if you're not doing that. Put on your own life-jacket first, yeah?