ADHD support thread

[adhdme2019]

I did comment on the other thread but it doesn’t seem to be active.

Anyone else trying to get a diagnosis at the moment?

I’m making an appointment with my doctor, I’m nervous about stigma and whether I’d tell people.

Also worried about job. I’ve been sacked and had bad experiences in the work place. Never for gross misconduct but for making mistakes or missing details. I often feel like such a failure and am only recently wondering if I have adhd.

Hey @Breastfeedingworries I am also worried about stigma. I really don't think people understand ADHD at all. I think many if my friends would think I am making excuses I have had comments before about my timekeeping when I said it made me stressed along the lines of "well if you put your energies into being on time instead of being stressed!"....yes it's all because I don't put enough effort in. Of course! If I only I tried harder.

I sought a diagnosis a few years back and got nowhere. Saw an awful psychiatrist who just shouted at me and didn't assess me. Am trying again at the moment. Am 100% sure I have inattentive ADD. Am frightened about seeing a psychiatrist again though after that experience plus had an awful experience when pregnant with another awful psychiatrist.

Anyway hope you have a better experience. I am thinking of going private and have started contacting local places. There is a 2 year NHS waiting list in my area.

Would really welcome support through the process as not sure I want to tell anyone IRL.

I was diagnosed last year and am taking meds (dexamphetamine). I take quite a low dose as a compromise between effectiveness and side effects. If I take the dose that is most effective (30mg over the day) I can't sleep at all. That just made me feel terrible so I'm taking 10mg/day which takes the edge off my symptoms but doesn't affect my sleep too badly.

I saw my gp in May who referred me to the CMH team. They sent me a load of questionnaires in June and I then got an appointment with the psychiatrist in September. The appointment lasted about an hour and was mostly a rambling life history from me. It turns out the doctor had ADHD too - he said "your story reminds me of me".

The drugs definitely help with focus and distractibility. Less on procrastination.

Making place as I need to go to bed!

I take Nortriptyline low dose but I keep forgetting to take it it stops me from losing so much time and helps me think ahead but doesn't really help with routine or procrastination.

Hey fellow scatty folk. I have my diagnosis and my meds and all, and I will look up Women with ADHD, but what specific strategies do you actually use to cope?! The meds help a lot (I didn't take them today and, um, I forgot to finish getting dressed) but between this and the autism and the kids it all just feels a little impossible.

@strongandlong @BertieBotts have they tried you on other meds? There are a few diff Kreme kinds of stimulants I believe and also some non stimulant meds?

I am disappointed to hear that neither of your meds seem to help with procrastination. That is a constant battle for me. I struggle to get started on almost everything.

Hey @99point9FahrenheitDegrees I have found a few things really helpful Recently. Firstly this book...

Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, 2nd Edition-Revised and Updated: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1592335128/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_q1ipEb2MK4JRN

Loads of really amazing tips. A lot of which I told my DH in OMG isn't this an amazing revelation way and he replied "yeah duh obviously"!!!

I found this book a few months ago after years and years and years of trying to put in place systems of organisation that never worked or I couldn't stick to. This book has loads of really really simple ideas that have really helped me. You don't need to do them all but they are all simple. I have implemented a few in a few places at home and they are amazingly working and more importantly sticking!

I have also started listening to a good podcast with some good ideas produced by someone who has ADHD so gets it. And these are things he's done himself that work and have helped. It's called ADHD reWired. Have also recently started listening to the ADDitude podcast. Have only listened to a couple - found it interesting but juries out tip wise.

One thing that I've implemented recently at home is a 15 min quick clean. I try and do what I can on one floor. Timed on my watch for 15 mins. One of my main issues is procrastination and it's obviously especially bad with anything boring or routine - thinking I am going to clean for an unknown amount of time does not work for me. I will rarely want to start and so house would constantly be dirty and messy in cycles. So I now race around for 15 mins. It's surprising how much you can do! My house is much cleaner since I've been doing this and it hasn't needed doing even everyday. I am lucky enough to have a cleaner once a fortnight so that wouldn't be enough on its own but it keeps on top in between cleans. Time will tell if I keep this up or get bored!

Another thing that seems to be working reasonably well is that I have spent time finding a number of interesting podcasts. And I listen to these EVERYTIME I need to do something boring. So getting washed and dressed, brushing my teeth, going to bed/trying to sleep, cleaning, washing up, etc etc etc. That has helped so far and I have procrastinated much less.

Am really focusing on trying to go to bed at a decent time as my symptoms are much worse when I am tired and am having really navel ru fess with this with the podcast method.

Time will tell if I manage to keep going with these or not. I am amazing at constantly trying new things and systems and getting bored very quickly!

Just thought I'd add some more of my favourite tips from the book and podcasts. These were revolutionary to me!!:

1. Have less stuff. The more duff you have, the more you have to tidy and clean and the free places you have to put things you need to put away! Declutter and chick stuff. I do it not by bit when I feel in the mood. Don't try to do a whole attic or garage or even cupboard at once. If you're anything like me you'll get bored half at through and be left with a load of shot everywhere. Or I'll just Chuck it back in the cupboard and shut the door completely wasting my time! So I do no more than a drawer am u not at a time.

1. Following in from above. I need quick wins. I can't spend hours doing anything. Especially not something boring. Do things in small manageable chunks.

1. Don't fill up your drawers or shelves or storage. If you do you'll have nowhere to put things away! This one blew my mind!

1. Only have one type of thing on a shelf. I am not rigid about this but it has helped me organise some if my shelters in the garage for example. And it really helps me find things. I HATE having to find things to do something.

1. Get the family on board. You don't want them undoing your new cat food shelf the moment you've taken the time to organise it!

1. Receipts! I had an expandable folder in a bag in the garage that was a bit awkward to open and receipts had to be filed in the month by month order. The idea being I could find them if I needed. However that was too far away and annoying for me so the receipts never made it in there! Paperwork is my nemesis! The book said don't worry about organising them. You are only rarely going to need a receipt occasionally. It's less time to just put them all in one place quickly where you know you can find h thy em and they aren't cluttering up your house, bag or purse. It needs to be a place that's easily accessible so you don't "just pop it here to put away later". So I put a paper bad with a handle on my dresser in the kitchen and all the years receipts go in there! Simple. At the end of the year I will put into my expandable file and then start again. Interestingly I haven't had to find one receipt out of there yet!

1. Store things where you are going to use them. If I have to go in another room to get something hats enough to put me off doing it altogether. This might mean you need to have more than one of something. So for instance I bulk buy washing up liquid which I use in the utility and in the kitchen. I now bulk buy two and have one so I can refill the refillable bottles easily when I need to. So much v easier and stops me putting off refilling and having no washing up liquid to use!

1. Write EVERYTHING down. You won't remember it. I use a shared family calendar and Wunderlist (which is sadly going soon to be replaced by the not as good To Do()

9, Keep it simple. I can't keep up any systems for organisation if they aren't super quick and easy. And can cope with not being followed for a couple of days without falling apart.

10. Heard this on the podcast a coupe if dats ago...You can't stretch time and everything takes time to do! What! Yes, it takes times to leave the house and load your bags in the car. It takes time to grab your lunch out if he fridge and grab your bag and put your coat on. Revolutionary I know!

I did myself a backwards plan for my morning which I don't follow to the minute but dies help me realise before I've Jeff the house when I am running late so I can pick up the pace.

If I remember any more I'll update!

Hope one of those helps someone else!

I'm in Germany and we don't have much available for adults here. I did a trial of Ritalin and a trial of this one (non stimulant) and had to do a computer test on each and the Ritalin didn't improve my result at all whereas this one did. I don't think it's the best method ever to see which is effective but anyway. Yes getting started is a füge issue for me. It takes me months to do simple things like post a letter.

I was diagnosed in January 2017 after reading a thread on here. Been on Concerta since then. Prior to meds I left every job after a couple of months. Coming up to 3 years in the same job now :) it changed my life.

Oh wow Mini that's a brilliant list!! Thank you so much

@99point9FahrenheitDegrees that's no problem. Hopefully some if it's helpful. Sorry for all the typos! Just seen them.

Saw this greetings card in a shop today ADHD peeps. Think we might all need to get a stock of these in!....

Mind if I join you? I was diagnosed in November and now take Concerta. Just had to reduce my dose back down as I’m getting some weird symptoms that may be caused by the higher dose. Struggling!

I’m autistic too :)

May I join too? DS1 has an ADHD dx and I'm starting to look into things myself. Had a moment of organisation yesterday where I made time in the shower to shave my armpits after a long winter of long sleeves, except part way through the day realised I'd only remembered to shave one of them. Felt a bit daft.

I like your list, Mini.

Love the list, thank you!

Don't fill up your drawers or shelves or storage. If you do you'll have nowhere to put things away! This one blew my mind!

This really resonates. I have a small flat and it was fine initially, now its cluttered and cupboards get jammed etc. I am trying to go through each space and reorganise.

I was dx last year. I was taking an instant release stimulant and just started a slow release. I have been mostly focused all day. Life. Changing. I am going to read some of those strategy books too.

Haha I love that card :) waves at new people.

Agree what a great list. I am terrible for going into detail on long lists and losing an hour or two while crafting them, so I won't add anything for now. But I will say your smartphone can be your enemy or your greatest tool - use it wisely and set it up so that it helps you, rather than hinders you. I have so many apps I use to help me now and I've decided to allow myself to pay for some, which has actually been a huge help too. Disabling notifications, especially red dots, adding a screen time tracker (I use rescuetime) and making your most timewasting apps hard to access or deleting them entirely (you can still use the web browser) are the ways to start this off. And if you're on Android, widgets!! Widgets are your friend!

👋🏻

@BertieBotts agree with everything you said. Especially that smart phone is greatest friend and worst enemy! Was thinking this only the other day! Without my smart phone I would be in utter chaos. But equally it's such a distraction!!

One further tip I thought of is Tiles! I have one on my car key and house keys. My DS who also has ADHD also has one in his wallet. They are amazing and I now can always find my keys 😊 You can call your keys from your phone and your phone from your keys!

A bit of an investment (but look out for deals on amazon) but worth it IMO. Make sure you get the ones with the replaceable battery.

😂😂😂crankysaurus (MN won't let me tag you again!!).

Aha I "call" my phone from google - it's android so if you're signed in on Chrome you can ask it to find my device and it will make it ring for you, even if on silent.

You can do it through google home as well. I think there is similar for iPhone find my device.

You can't stretch time and everything takes time to do! What! Yes, it takes times to leave the house and load your bags in the car. It takes time to grab your lunch out if he fridge and grab your bag and put your coat on. Revolutionary I know!

So much this 😂

It's amazed me that when I have to leave the house at half past (like be driving away), that does not mean I can be finishing my breakfast in the kitchen at 29 minutes past. Then find my phone, keys, hat etc and wtf I'm leaving 10 minutes late yet again.

I've done step 1, GP appointment. So I'm waiting for the referral to go through for an assessment. It's only been 2 weeks and I'm impatient already...

Oh god, yes! I always think of it as rounding errors. Those things individually take less than a minute, so I round down to 0 minutes and am then baffled when the entire performance takes 15 minutes and I'm now late.

Also, there is a kind of layer effect as we tend to have multiple failures going on all at the same time. So for example, finishing breakfast at 29 past because you've failed to accept that these mini-tasks also take time and add up. But in addition to this, everything takes longer:

• I didn't realise we'd run out of weetabix or other quick breakfast, and although I keep meaning to make breakfast bars or overnight oats or whatever, I never quite manage to do so. So eating breakfast takes longer and/or I have to skip it because it wasn't well prepared in advance.

• Finding phone because I've left it somewhere implausible, probably in the bathroom when I was doing a wee because I didn't have pockets at the time.

• Finding keys which are 90% of the time left on hook by door (because otherwise I'll lose them) but this time are in a pocket somewhere.

• I started breakfast late in the first place, because it took me ages to get dressed because I couldn't find the pair of tights I was sure were lying over the chair and the others didn't go with my outfit and half of my clothes still need to be ironed (or washed).

• It also actually took me four snoozes to force my arse out of bed - most likely because I stayed up until 2am doing something completely pointless.

• Once I'm actually in the car I suddenly realise oh shit, I didn't brush my hair, or I've forgotten to brush my teeth, or something like that. And it might be OK if that was a one off, but in fact this is the fourth day running I've forgotten to do that, so other people will definitely notice.

I'm not quite this bad any more, plus I have fixes for things - when I work I always carry mini deodorant, hairbrush, protein bars and gum, for example - but that would have been absolutely a typical day for me before (and I would be on the verge of tears wondering FFS why can't I just function like a real person). And if you explain this kind of thing on one of those "Why are some people always late?" threads, you'll get torn apart by MNers saying well this is silly, you should have a quick breakfast ready to do, you should lie out your outfit the night before, you should pack your bag the night before, you should allow extra time etc etc and honestly, I know, but that's the disorder - that's the executive dysfunction. If I could do all of those things, then of course I would, just as any normal person would. The problem is that you can't, or you don't, or you won't, or the idea doesn't even enter your head in the first place.

DH says "well you just need a routine" 😂😂 Routine doesn't help me find the hat/phone/keys.

I'm an (at least) 4 snoozer. Which results in me cutting it extremely fine. It would be better if I aimed for 20 past instead though.

Is the hitting “snooze” multiple times an ADHD trait? I didn’t know that, and if so it’s something I need to add to the sodding pre-assessment forms that I’m currently putting off completing.

Hi everyone I haven’t been diagnosed, but I’ve strongly suspected I am for years. I do have bipolar disorder and when I’ve flagged up some concerns in the past (I didn’t mention ADHD) I was just told it’s doen to my bipolar. I’m worried to bring it up in case I get laughed out the room

Basically these are the things I struggle with on a daily basis and does this sound familiar to anyone else?

Easily distracted, easily bored if something doesn’t interest me and I’ll lose concentration easily. However I can become obsessed and intensely interested in things that I do like

Terrible time management. Constantly late, very little concept of time, brain fog. Or I’ll lose myself in a task or subject and before I know it hours have gone past

House is a tip, it’s either all or nothing, no inbetween

Constantly losing things and misplacing things which ends up with me sometimes losing my temper quite quickly through sheer frustration. Rage is my biggest problem, as I have very little patience. The same as when I’m out in public

When I was in primary school I was frequently kept back in classes as I simply drifted off and never paid attention. I knew this was the case, but I couldn’t help it. Something I’ve always struggled with. Sometimes I can completely leave the room if someone is talking to me and not hear a word they said

I can’t remeber the other ones as again I’m very forgetful! Which adds to the frustration too.

I have mentioned a few of these things to my cpn, but I have just been brushed off as being a bipolar thing

Am I barking up the wrong tree or do any of these behaviours seem similar to you?

Thanks for reading I’d you got this far!

I got diagnosed with psychiatry uk but couldn't afford the meds so have been referred to Manchester adult adhd clinic. Does anyone live near there and know how long the waiting list is?

I'm hoping now I have a diagnosis it wont be too hard to be seen

I'm scatty as fuck. Not sure about bring medicated, but dont want the symptoms either so it's worth a try. Do the meds make things better from day 1 or is it a matter of getting used to them in your system before you notice a difference?