Only thing keeping me here is my kids and I even think they would be better off without me

[Confused202020]

I feel so so low, I just want to be out of this, I didn't ask to be here. The only thing stopping me is my 8 year olds face when he found out and I couldnt ruin his Xmas. My auntie killed herself by gassing herself l, most peaceful way apparently. And I thought she was such a horrible person, she left 3 kids under 5, but now I feel I understand her, she wasn't a horrible person at all I just don't want this anymore. Seeing a mental health person next week, think I have ocd, tourettes (already know that) asd (undoubtable all my kids have it too, from stupid me. Passed on to them) and also bipolar but who knows till I see a pysch. My 13 year old is self harming and hears voices, a few moths agoy 17 year old experienced delusions etc and my 8 year old is currently having an asd assesment. It's too much. I've done this to all of them.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear that you have been feeling this way.

We wanted to let you know that we have removed the images that were causing you privacy concerns, which we hope helps to set your mind at rest a little.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Your family need you and love you op.

Just wanted you to know that I’ve been thinking about you all day OP and rooting for you to find the strength to get you through your tough times you’re not alone!

How are you doing today @Confused202020 ?

Thought of you today OP; hope you're doing okay.