How do you come to terms with being ordinary?

[tinkersings]

I've always had ridiculously lofty dreams as a kid. You'd think that I'd have outgrown them at the grand age of 26, but alas, here we are. The problem is that I am slowly but surely destroying every little bit of good in my life in pursuit of what is essentially nothing more than a fantasy.

Logically, I know it's utterly childish. I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head though. For instance, I can be having the best day surrounded by people who love me and my mind will drift to visions of how much better life could be if only I were prettier or smarter or if I'd made different decisions in the past. I even pushed my wonderful, gorgeous ex away as I felt that her thinking that I was a bitch was preferable to her waking up one day and wondering what the hell she was doing with someone like me.

Some days I worry that I'm too far gone. Most days I feel like everything's only going to get exponentially worse because I've wasted what's commonly said to be the 'prime' of my life and that it's all downhill from here. Another day, another disappointment. How do I get myself out of this mess?

Hi there, OP.

We're sorry to hear that you're feeling like this - it sounds really tough.

Hopefully someone will be along soon with some useful advice. But we also wondered if you might find some RL help from one or more of the organisations listed here in our Mental Health resources.

Best of luck with it all.

Hi there 26 is still young. There is no such thing as ordinary. Perhaps you could try counselling or cbt to try and talk through these feelings ?
You sound like you have a lot going for you( more than me ). Maybe you can achieve your dreams , but not at the expense of everything good already in your life ?

I think there's three things here, your future ambitions, trying to see the value in what you currently have, and making peace with your past relationship.

As for the prime of your life, there are many peaks in life. And in fact, we know now the brain does not stop developing until the 30s, and you reach peak physical fitness aged 34 :)

Don't judge yourself, trust that things get better.