Am addicted to spending - please help

[theworstaddiction]

Am regular, changed name for this

Am typing quickly as dh upstairs.

Pls help as really am struggling to find a source of help. I know am stupid sad awful cow. But am addicted to spending on credit cards. Have racked up thousands and dh has coped with it but have done it again and will throw me out. 3 kids pleas.e Can anyone tell me where to go/ I know it is my fault but feel like I am an alocholic or drug addict.

Thanks, am taking this all in. Thought you would all slate me. I sometimes think I do it so my dh will leave me.

what have a spent it on? Mainly clothes. Perfect person.

£7000 on clothes? but am not judging you!

Is there anything you could return?

Where do you shop?

Designer clothes or high street?

why dont you have a good sort out and start selling it on here?

Use this name and we will know who you are and maybe some of us could help you out.

But you have to promise to get proper help if we try and lower your debt!

Don't worry. Think I need a bit of judging.

No, just high street, just almost every day.

you need to get a job!

You need to stay away from the shops and take up a hobby or do charity work or something.

this is going to sound stupid, but re the desire to spend, does it have to be on expensive stuff? I ask because we don't have much money at the moment as h is unemployed and my salary isn't much in relation to our mortgage etc, but I get a real kick out of bargain hunting in second hand and charity shops. I buy furniture at a tenth of the price, I do up stuff to make it look like new, buy books which are still in the top sellers lists for 20p etc etc.

I do really feel for you - its just another addiction like booze or drugs and I have experience of both in my family. WWW has v good advice re the cards and balance sheet type thing

Totally agree re job and am actively looking. Trouble is my 3 quite young - 2 will be a full time schl come Sept. Youngest will be 3 and at nursrey in am.

Am relavtively well qualified (stifling details here) and finding it hard to get job but will do anything.

Almost get up everyday and say wont spend today and then let myself down.

deep breath well done admitting difficulties, 1st step and all that. help is available

take the scissors to your cards - so u cant use them
list your debts
contact debtors ask for repayment plan
make an action plan - now

long term examine the reasons u seek solace and happiness in spending - what is it about this activity that satisfies you

Review things you get right and pat on the back
you are a great parent
Good friend
maybe just need to remind yourself of this

what about my brilliant idea of selling stuff on here?

have just read that the money has gone on clothes. Well, I'm a Primark fan myself so ....... I do understand where you're coming from though. When I am down or things are not going well, I spend money on doing up the house. House = security, a security I don't feel I have in relationships. Think you're going to have to be practical here ie tell husband and if possible re kids etc, get a job to pay off the debt.

yes v.good idea sales boards here are brisk

Not sure about the parent bit ScottishMummy - very shouty shouty. Still.

Yup, selling is the way to go but don't want to buy pple. Jeez. Can you start again with your life sort of?

you are a mum, not a bloody saint...im sure u are fabby babe

of course you can over come adversoty - no mistaking it will be bloody hard but yes it can be done

cut up the cards less temptation

see GP about counselling

thanks, really appreciate it. Have really told no one about all this, so very grateful for advice.

how are you today?

Kept me awake a good bit last night. Determined to try and break this cycle this time. Just have to build up courage to tell him - scared he will leave me.

And think I will make GPs appt as starting point. Have been on prozac for a year and has evened me out but not helped with spending, which is only down to me.

Thanks soo much for replying.

hi there!
see your GP, have candid talk, cut the cards up, get a plan about how to discuss with your partner, try write down main points -hth

Have made GPs appt as a start.

Need to cut up those cards now.

Finally got to see GP today. I was crap. couldn't string a sentence without crying.

He has put me back on Prozac and says I need to lift my mood before tackling the underlying problem of the spending.........

I feel so flat on Prozac tho, I almost don't want to take them. I do feel low and very weepy at the mo but its better than the numbing of prozac. Oh dear.

I, sadly, really related to this post.

If you search the archives I had a very similar thread called "how do I tell him" only our debt topped 30k and he knew of very little of it.

He was great about it.

Things are never as bad as they first seem.

He loves you, of course he will be fine.

Angry at first, probably but fine and wanting to help.

Does he understand that your spending is an actual problem rather than being purely frivolous?

Hes very good - we have had a awful week as he found out about some of the debt (tho not all - I have to do that). But now, he doesn't believe there is an emotional side to it......I'm not even sure I do. I know I'm a bit depressed but why I do this I just don't know.

im going thru something similar am in debt with 2,5k which is not much bt is on how mch i earn

i think what you say about perfect person and that buzz of the shops is so true

i have a crap credit score so cant transfer my cards

bt im here if you wanna chat

am im same predicament with dh so i know how you feel

Thanks Dressedup and Pecka.....was beginnning to feel I really was the only one.

I think if I was a druggie or an alcoholic I wouldn't feel so bad. Such a selfish cow.

All I can say is I haven't bought anything for a week. Big deal.

i went shopping yesterday with a tenner and i only spent 5.58 was very strange literally holding back but i did it