Rehab for mental health, addiction and eating disorder

[Namechange4187]

I've been struggling to cope for the last 2 years. I'm at my lowest point ever. I think I need to go somewhere and get my head together. Does anyone have experience of this? Would a normal rehab place help?

I see a counsellor but she doesn't know half of my problems. I'm good at putting on an "I'm ok" face. I haven't told anyone about my addiction. It's to codeine.

If I go somewhere, we (DH and I) would have to pay. I don't know how much it would cost. Would they tell him about my addiction or my eating disorder? He can obviously see how underweight I am but he doesn't know the extent and knows nothing of the addiction or that I self harm. Would stuff be written on the bill so that he sees what I'm treated for? I don't want him to know. He knows my mental health is poor and he knows I have PTSD from childhood abuse. I don't want him to know the rest.

Please help if you can. There are no support groups where I live, I have tried to find one. I need help, I feel like I can't keep going anymore.

Oh sweetie- any one of those would be enough but put together even more so. Eating disorder + codeine addiction + self harm + depression- yes, you need AND DESERVE help

And it will be a long term road to managing your mental health - not a once and done month in rehab. But I guess deep down you know that

Thank you. I needed to hear that I do need help from somebody else. I am always worried about wasting people's time.

And it will be a long term road to managing your mental health - not a once and done month in rehab.

I was hoping for a quick fix but I suppose I should be prepared that it won't be. Thank you again, so much. Really thank you

Please make gp appointment tomorrow, I know you said you find it hard but please find the courage (dig deep) the sooner the better as you want help, the sooner you start the motions the sooner you’ll get help.
Gp as heard much much worse than your telling us, they really have
Do you have a preference who you can speak openly to gp?
Have a look at your surgery to see if they have a website, you can then see the gp’s and chose one.

You know you can always go to a&e
They have mh team there 24/7

You sound young, you have a dd who is only very young
Who loves her mummy, and if she knew would want you to be well
Personally I think you would be better going down the nhs route
Only because of your complex health needs. By that I mean a few different issues to deal with
As I think your private health insurance would soon run out, you only get x amount of money for certain things and you may need quite a bit of therapy

It’s not you that’s telling yourself not to eat, it’s the THOUGHTS going round and round. Telling you
you don’t need / can’t have the food till x time (why that time?)
It’s probably been like this for a few years, you unintentionally have let the thoughts take control over you
You need to learn how to not take NO notice off them.

Could you say go to bed when dh goes, that way your not downstairs on your own getting upset and cutting ?

Keep posting, don’t bottle it up

How are you this morning, OP?

I have a lot of similar things to you op. This is definitely enough for help. Print out your post and take it to your GP. If you're anything like me you minimise things in conversation but having it written down will mean the GP gets the full picture.

Hi
How did you get on last night,did you manage to eat anything

Have you summed up any courage to ring/call in gp for appointment

Thank you all for checking up on me. Today I have been having a better day aside from one teary moment. I ate dinner earlier than usual last night, about 10.30pm, and then I took a sleeping tablet so I wasn't up too late.

The day before..I can't remember if I posted then. I cut myself and the blood took a long time to stop. It scared me so I didn't cut yesterday. That's partly why I took the sleeping tablet.

I feel like I need to talk to DH a bit before I see the gp. I don't know what to say to him. Honestly I can't tell him about the addiction or the cutting. I know from past experience that his reaction would be extreme anger. I'm not at risk from him in any way. I want to make that clear in case it sounds like I could be. But I do know how he would react. And especially now we have a dd I can imagine the things he would say. Our relationship is already on the brink. I am not even sure I want to stay with him but that's not something I have the space to think about right now. This sounds very selfish sorry. I know how much my behaviour has had an impact on our relationship and that it's not easy for him. As it's the weekend now I will try to speak to him tonight or tomorrow and make a plan about getting a gp appointment for next week.

Thank you all for the kind words. Valancy I am exactly like you with minimising. I hope that you are getting help for your problems too.

It’s not you that’s telling yourself not to eat, it’s the THOUGHTS going round and round. Telling you
you don’t need / can’t have the food till x time (why that time?)

I think it started when I had dd and stopped working. I hadn't realised but I was obviously very dependent on work giving me structure around eating. I knew when to have breakfast and I knew when to have lunch, then dinner when I got home. No work, combined with breastfeeding a baby who often just would not be put down and I forgot to eat or at times couldn't. I did sometimes have cereal bars during the day but mostly drank a lot of water because I was getting very thirsty from the breastfeeding. I found it very hard to get her to sleep and I had this idea in my mind that I would eat once she was asleep and I could relax. Until she was about 2.5 years old that time was approximately 11pm. I think that's where it originated.

I didn't go into any details but I told my DH I was thinking about rehab today and he was very positive about it. He seems to think it will be a 2 week stay, I'm expecting longer, but it's a step in the right direction. Thanks everyone here who gave me the encouragement to speak to him. Next will be the gp. Thank you all so much.

Thanks for the update 😀

At least you have know broken the ice and told him you need help with mh, try and keep the subject open with him, then you won’t have it going round in your head about how to approach him about it again.

As you say the job for this week is
The GP appointment !
When you ring ask the receptionist for an emergency appointment, they will ask what it concerns
All GP practices do now
Just say, you can’t cope anymore with your MH symptoms and need emergency appointment
Otherwise you may be waiting 3-4 weeks !!!

I also had a terrible time breastfeeding for 20 hours a day and unable to reach for food so I identify with that too OP. I also finally escaped from under DD at 11pm each night - to finally get into the shower and scream in agony when the water hit my boobs! I now have a thing where I'm not allowed to stop working until 9pm, even if I've actually finished what needs to be done. I think it's a form of OCD - follow all the rules or else. I really recommend writing everything down for the GP as I'm never taken seriously. I will take my own advice and do the same next time! I hope you're having a good-enough day.

I really struggle with my anxiety at the moment it's very high. I was prescribed codeine for a migraine and it's does lift me. But I know it's not the answer. The anti anxiety tablets I've tried two brands that both made me really sick. Can anyone recommend anything. I've suffered for years and missed out a lot with my kids due to not being able to leave the house. At the minute it's worse than ever. I can't eat and my head is very messed up. Any advise would be appreciated. I've only just found this website and I've not posted before.
Tia

Have you managed to sort anything for yourself?

It does sound like an ocd thing you’ve gotten into since having the baby, and you’ve carried it on
Everyone as a routine of some sort, the thing is to nit make it a ritual
Ie I usually have my tea at 11pm, I can’t have it now. But what would happen if you had it earlier? Nothing
I don’t go to bed till 12am, it’s to early . So what would happen if you did? Nothing

My partner as traits of what I call ocd
He
Gets up usual time everyday
Breakfast same time
Lunch 12
Tea if it’s not on for 5pm it’s should I make my own
Shower again by 6.30
Bed dead on 11.10

But then I have a routine but I’m not stuck to a time

@anonengland I recommend starting your own thread to get specific advice

Oh, love
Tbh as you're lucky enough to be able to, pay for care and now. The NHS is useless with mh care, especially complex needs - you would just end up being passed between mh, ED and substance misuse and accepted by none of them.
No, they can't tell DP anything without consent.