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Original poster

Rehab for mental health, addiction and eating disorder

40 replies

Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 14:40

I've been struggling to cope for the last 2 years. I'm at my lowest point ever. I think I need to go somewhere and get my head together. Does anyone have experience of this? Would a normal rehab place help?

I see a counsellor but she doesn't know half of my problems. I'm good at putting on an "I'm ok" face. I haven't told anyone about my addiction. It's to codeine.

If I go somewhere, we (DH and I) would have to pay. I don't know how much it would cost. Would they tell him about my addiction or my eating disorder? He can obviously see how underweight I am but he doesn't know the extent and knows nothing of the addiction or that I self harm. Would stuff be written on the bill so that he sees what I'm treated for? I don't want him to know. He knows my mental health is poor and he knows I have PTSD from childhood abuse. I don't want him to know the rest.

Please help if you can. There are no support groups where I live, I have tried to find one. I need help, I feel like I can't keep going anymore.

OP posts:
Aridane · 18/09/2019 14:42

No, they wouldn’t tell DH unless you consent

And private health care bills are heroically and deliberately bland

Flowers
Aridane · 18/09/2019 14:44

See GB for urgent referral to CAHMS and Crisis Team??

Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 14:47

Thank you. I see my GP for another health problem. I don't want to bother them with this. I don't know what to say to them. Thank you for replying

OP posts:
Aridane · 18/09/2019 15:05

That’s what they’re there for - and what you describe is major and you are at breaking point. You should book a double appointment and tell receptionist it is for a mental health crisis if there is pushback on the double appointment.

I take it you don’t have PMI through you or your DH’s work

Aridane · 18/09/2019 15:06

And you write down in numbered points what you want to say in case you lose purpose or cry and cannot speak

Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 15:16

Thank you. Is PMI private medical insurance. My DH has that through work and I am covered but I don't really understand how it works.

OP posts:
Aridane · 18/09/2019 15:21

Yes, private medical insurance.

Depending on level of cover, it may cover inpatient stay

Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 15:37

Thank you again. I get overwhelmed very easily. If I would be covered would the first step be to see my normal gp and tell them I am looking for an inpatient place for my mental health? Or do I ring the place directly? I have looked up online and there are places near me that offer the sort of the service I think I need. I don't know if I would need to convince my GP that I need them and if I do I don't know if I'd have to go into all the details. Things like self harm and codeine addiction. I have a 5 year old. I'm worried they'd think she was at risk. She isn't at risk from me I know that but I don't know how any of this stuff works. I barely know how to book a doctor's appointment tbh. They have a confusing system where you can only call at certain times of the day and the line is usually busy until that period is over. I don't know how people know things like to ask for a crisis team or what cahms is. I don't know anything and I don't understand how people do know. Sorry I'm talking too much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 15:47

Dh thinks my eyes are always puffy from allergies. He doesn't know how much I cry. I don't know how I will explain my desire to do this when he barely knows anything but I will try.

OP posts:
Aridane · 18/09/2019 16:03

I only know about these things, OP, because I’ve been there...

Aridane · 18/09/2019 16:10

There are x3 tiers of healthcare when it comes to mental health

  1. primary healthcare- ie your go

  2. specialist mental healthcare that isn’t in hospital (ignore my incorrect CAMHS acronym). This catbe you visited their premises or you can be under the care of the Crisis Team who can visit you at home daily. The aim of the Crisis Team is to keep you out of hospital

  3. stay in hospital as inpatient, volunteer (your choice) or involuntary (under section)

Aridane · 18/09/2019 16:15

sorry- loads of typos - on phone & fat thumbs

granadagirl · 18/09/2019 16:59

Private health care
I you need a Gp referral letter first , I’m sure
So you Gp would have to have some idea of your current problem?

Also you need to check your policy, not all cover MH
If they do, you usually get upto 28 day inpatient stay, I don’t think that would get you sorted by any means
You would probably see psychiatrist first, then maybe some counselling ( but if you don’t open up to everything, waste of time) maybe cbt (cognitive behavioural therapy)

Nhs
Depending where you live, borough you come under? Eg Manchester, Surrey etc, depends on waiting list. Nhs mh is very stretched.
The Gp May write/get in touch with mht, but you again have to be truthful about your problems otherwise your not going to get the correct help you need.

Are you on any mh drugs?

Aridane · 18/09/2019 17:01

Yes, honesty is key

Aridane · 18/09/2019 17:02

And codeine addiction is common- your GP will have seen it before

Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 17:05

Thank you for your time and patience Aridane. I hope you are in a better place now Flowers

OP posts:
minnimiss · 18/09/2019 17:12

Check your private medical cover, it may cover you for a inpatient stay. I worked for BUPA and many workplace policies do. You would need a GP referral first and then probably an assessment with a psychiatrist. A short stay with intensive treatment followed up with a good plan of structured care would be a great start to getting well again.

Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 17:19

I'm sorry I'm finding it really hard to write a post. My head won't think straight. I am not on any mh drugs. I have been in the past. I didn't feel they helped me. I don't think I was bad then as I am now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 17:27

Would it be ok if posted some of the reasons I feel that I need help or things I do that I think are not normal? I feel like I could use an outsider's perspective or something.

OP posts:
Aridane · 18/09/2019 17:33

Post away. If nothielse, think of it as practice for speaking with GP and mental healthcare professionals

Aridane · 18/09/2019 17:34

I don’t suppose your health authority is a London one?

granadagirl · 18/09/2019 18:18

Yes post awaySmile
There’s lots of people with all different mh problems

Mine is high anxiety which lead to depression.
I’m in a better place now, but still everyday is a struggle most of the time

Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 18:31

I am outside of London but not that far away.

Thank you I will try.

I do not eat or drink anything except water until between 11pm and 12am. If I do eat before this time I have to justify it (to myself). Yesterday I was having a particularly bad day and I felt it was wrong to eat because if I did it meant that I wasn't as sad/upset as I felt like I was and I also have this feeling that I need to punish myself or something. I can tell myself how these thoughts are irrational but it doesn't make them stop. I made myself have a bowl of stew eventually.

The addiction obviously. It is damaging me. And I don't always remember how much I've taken and I only know I'm taking more than ever because of how quickly I run out.

I don't really talk to anyone besides DH, my mum and dd. When I take DD to/from school I avoid the other parents. Often DH takes her instead. Besides school, I go out to the local shop, to chemists, and to the doctors if I have to go, but nowhere else. I don't visit anyone, I think the friends I did have gave up on inviting me to places. I don't feel any bitterness to them about this at all because I do understand. I use my illness as an excuse to get out of things.

I don't open my mail or do basic things. I often forget to wash and brush my teeth (sorry).

I cut myself, usually when I'm up late at night crying and I can't snap myself out of it. I think about suicide but wouldn't do that to DD.

I walk around in a blur a lot of the time. I stand up to do something and forget what it was, or sometimes I feel like I sit for a long time not doing anything but I don't know for sure because I don't remember. It's like time passes but I'm not present in it.

I don't have any motivation, hope or self esteem. I don't have interests or hobbies. I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself but I just don't feel anything a lot of the time. Like I'm numb. And I hate myself. My physical appearance. I really hate myself and I don't think that's normal either.

I think those are the main things. Are those enough to get help?

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 18:32

Sorry one other thing, I have moments where I feel like something bad is happening or going to happen. I don't know what or what sets me off but it's like I feel very afraid and can't settle down or shake off the feeling.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange4187 · 18/09/2019 18:38

Oh and once a week (I probably make once every two weeks) I go to see the counselor.

OP posts: