Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Can't take much more

78 replies

Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 00:07

I have changed my name because I don't want to be seen as someone who is always depressed, but I really don't know how much more I can take. Sometimes I just want to run far away from everything.

OP posts:
Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 09:08

I was on Citalopram for a while following the birth of my second child, but haven't taken any kind of ADs since. I have had counselling recently, which I found helpful.

OP posts:
grouchyoscar · 09/08/2007 09:27

Glad things seem clearer in the morning NDW. Night time is when my insecurities come out and bite me. PMS makes it worse.

Don't be embarrassed at all. Isn't that what Mumsnet is for? If it helped you feel better to get it out then, it's served a purpose really.

Hope you feel brighter soon

Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 11:57

Thanks, grouchyoscar.

I have been feeling very stressed with everything for a while, and last night I felt especially bad, which led to me starting this thread.

I do worry about depression, but think I'm probably just overloaded with stress right now.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 09/08/2007 12:14

It's good to keep a diary like this. I did this a while back using a false name, I wrote down what I was feeling and thinking. But of course there is that danger that someone will 'out' you and I wasn't ready to let the world of Mumsnet in on my personal life to that extent.

I've been through similar although there is no one thing in my life that set me off. I've been having problems with family, I left a job that zapped my confidence, I have a new job to start in Sept, ds has a new nursery that he hates and screams every time we pull into the car park, I have both kids during the hols, I've had to organise a big do for my dad which, during the current family state was very stressful and not at all easy, and I think all of these things just came to a head. I started to get paranoid, thinking people were talking about me. Even on the street I thought people were looking at me and whispering. In those circumstances Mumsnet is not a good place to be! I had mood swings, so I was angry, then happy, then weepy. I couldn't cope with everyday stuff like ds being ill, it just became a huge trauma for me, everything became a huge trauma. I also got confused, I couldn't remember dates or appointments, I forgot to collect dd from school once, I forgot to eat, I would start to drive somewhere and forget where I was going or even more worryingly, which side of the road I was meant to drive on. This just happened yesterday too, but I'm hoping it was just a blip.

Thing is, you have 2 choices. You can either sink into that hole and let it swallow you up, surfacing every now and then to wallow in sympathy. Or you can give yourself a good kick up the arse and do a 'get out of jail' plan.

I wrote down everything I had to do every day and I did it. It's working. I'm getting better.

Pills are ok. But beware of just taking pills and doing little else. Yes depression is an illness, but it also has a cause. It's like going to the hospital with a broken leg and being given painkillers but nothing else. The painkillers mask the symptoms of the broken leg but once you stop taking them, the leg is still broken, your situation is no better.

If it is helpful I can tell you what my plan was and you can adjust it according to what works for you. But you need to get yourself out of this, no-one can do it for you. You need to work some tough love on yourself, get mean and you'll start to get better.

Rhubarb · 09/08/2007 12:21

If you want to contact me, if I can help I will. Custy has my email.

grouchyoscar · 09/08/2007 12:36

Rhubarb is right. My GP says there is no such thing as a magic pill and they can only help to calm things down while you sort out the problem

All the best NDW

grouchyoscar · 09/08/2007 12:36

Rhubarb is right. My GP says there is no such thing as a magic pill and they can only help to calm things down while you sort out the problem

All the best NDW

Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 13:01

Thank you for your advice, Rhubarb. I am cautious of just popping pills because they just numb you a bit rather than help you deal with the issues that are causing you to feel the way you're feeling.

I am not one to wallow in self pity. People around me never see me down, and the minute I feel I'm not coping, I do seek help.

I went to my GP just after Christmas because I had a bit of a blip. He wanted to put me on tablets then, but I said I felt I would benefit more from counselling, which he organised for me.

I had been plodding on pretty well, but the stress of recent events is beginning to overload me again, and I want to stop depression before it starts IYKWIM?

I would be very interested to hear what your self help plan was, Rhubarb.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 09/08/2007 13:04

I really do feel for you, that is exactly where I found myself a few weeks ago, actually I guess it started before school ended, I don't like to think how long I've been ill, but the very fact I'm on Mumsnet means I'm getting better.

I'll put my plan on a separate thread, it might just help others who are feeling low then too. Give me 5 mins, then I'll link it.

Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 13:10

Thanks, Rhubarb.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 09/08/2007 13:23

here you go, hope I've done that right, I've kinda lost the art to Mumsnet!

I don't know who you are and I won't try to find out, I know the feeling of trying to keep your identity secret. But whoever you are, best of luck, I'll be thinking of you, let me know if I can help at all.

Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 13:32

Thank you so much, Rhubarb.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/08/2007 13:34

Can I just be an advocate of pills and say that they can work on their own, if, for example the depression is purely hormonal due to post-birth fluctuations (as was in my case).

Once balance was restored after a few weeks of taking AD's, and an upped dose to help the sleep issue, I have truly never felt better, and have not, and do not need counselling.

Just for the benefit of anyone who may be lurking on here

MellowMa · 09/08/2007 13:38

Message withdrawn

Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 13:41

Oh yes, VVVQV, I agree that they are great for helping to lift you out of that horrible low you experience with depression. I found them really helpful for my PND, but also needed counselling because there were circumstances that contributed to the depression.

Right now I am feeling low because of my situation, and I'm not sure whether it is stress or depression. How do you tell the difference between the two?

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 09/08/2007 13:43

You would need to take the advice of your GP on the hormonal issue. I managed fine without ads during my pregnancies but had hormonal treatment afterwards.

This new bout could also be hormone related, which is why a quick check-up at the GPs does no harm. But again, ADs can help to boost your confidence to the level where you can sort out the underlying problem, but ADs themselves cannot solve the issue for you.

Rhubarb · 09/08/2007 13:45

NDW, if it is interfering with day to day life then it is depression. Take your problems one by one, don't try to deal with them all at once. Stress can make you very depressed. Step out of the box and see what advice you would give yourself if you were not personally involved.

MellowMa · 09/08/2007 13:46

Message withdrawn

Rhubarb · 09/08/2007 13:49

Now I had the opposite! I don't take any hormonal contraceptive now, it's just not worth it.

If you think your problem is hormonal you can get hormone treatment. Even men can have this problem.

Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 15:15

Sometimes I can have the lowest of days, and I feel I am not coping great with the children, I have also experienced panic attacks, especially at night, and my sleeping is not great. However, I can get on at work just fine, I can wear a smile to those around me & rarely appear down, and sometimes when I'm away from all my stresses & doing something nice, I can feel quite relaxed. I guess that means it is stress rather than depression.

OP posts:
Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 15:27

I can identify with the feelings of forgetfulness you describe though, Rhubarb

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/08/2007 16:16

NDW - I always lifted when DP came home, or if i was visiting family or friends. (Of course, that meant leaving the house to do that in the first place....)

But the instant he walked out the door I started to panic and fret, which made me feel worse, which in turn made me panic and fret more, and so on and so forth.

I dont think you need to be down all day long in every situation to qualify being depressed. Plus stress, of course, can create depression.

I was tired all day, but couldnt sleep at night. Got paranoid about things. Felt no-one cared (when in fact I was distancing myself without realising).

The thing with depression is, you often dont know you are heading there until you have hit the bottom. Its easy to miss the signs along the way you see. I definitely think a trip to the GP is a good step in the right direction.

lucyellensmum · 09/08/2007 16:37

notdoingwell, please dont rule out depression, ive spent two years with my head in the sand, only just getting the help i need, felt the same way you do.

MellowMa · 09/08/2007 17:26

Message withdrawn

Notdoingwell · 09/08/2007 17:56

Best I get myself another doctors appointment then.

OP posts: