Busy life!!!

[ombre123]

Hi all

I'm a regular lurker on here and have been really struggling with some things recently, and due to the reason described below I can't really confide in anyone how I'm feeling so I'm hoping that by writing everything down some of you lovely people will be able to help and offer some words of wisdom!

Some background - I am happily married with two young children pre school and primary aged. My husband is a stay at home dad and I work full time as a Director of a large retail business. I feel like I love every individual aspect of my life but over the last 3 months or so I've become gradually more and more emotionally exhausted.

My kids are great but they are very demanding of my time, particularly my eldest. I really want to be able to give them the best version of myself but don't feel like I can because I feel so drained.

I don't eat healthily, don't exercise and sit down lost of the day moving from one meeting to the next. Given the nature of my role I work v long hours just to get the job done, and even then I don't feel like I have done my best.

I don't feel satisfied either st home or at work. I feel as though I'm on a conveyer belt constantly between work and then bed. I get home at six, bath my kids and put them to bed then go to bed myself. Up at 6.30 the next morning then on repeat. My poor husband gets no time whatsoever.

The reason why I can't explain this to my husband is that he is a natural worrier and I wouldn't want him to think that I'm about to throw the towel in. I love him and our kids more than anything. I love working too. But I'm just drained.

I have worked so hard to get to where I am career wise and love my family more than anything. If I had to choose I would 100% choose them, but feel as though I'm missing some balance and perspective which means that I can successfully manage both.

Has anyone else felt like this? Like Groundhog Day?! I feel like I'm drowning.

Thanks in advance for your replies xx

You're not alone, OP. Loads of us have been there at some point.

In my experience you need to find one area where you can change something, and from there it becomes a bit easier to change more things, other bits of your life fall into place around it etc....

I'd try and change a 'big' thing first, so maybe approach work and see if you could lose half a day somewhere, or work one day from home? If that's a total no no is there something else you could change? Could you religiously take your lunchbreak and go swimming or for a walk in it so you're getting a bit of a break and time for you at least in the middle of the day? Or is there something you could outsource somehow at home? Maybe get one of those healthy recipe delivery boxes some days of the week so you and your DH don't have to cook and you know you've got an easy healthy dinner when you get home?

It does sound like work is too demanding on your time though. Is there another director or someone above you to talk to who might be able to offer some help? It sounds like you've been really successful and they should be desperate to keep you, so maybe they need to make it easy for you to stay? Put the ball in their court!

Hi there, I was feeling this way a few months back and literally just had to hit pause. My GP signed me off work (depending on your organisation you may wish to book some holiday or see if you can flex your working week like the MN person suggested) and just having that downtime was amazing, but what was really helpful was being referred to a counsellor. I’m sure your work must have an EAP provider? Mine does and I went through them and accessed Silvercloud. You are triaged by a counsellor and allocated modules to do, at the end of each week you have a chat and it has really helped me.

Sometimes you just need to stop and refresh. It may even be that you all have a night away every now and then so you’re not at home doing the same thing every weekend. This is something we’ve been better at of late, plus we’re having a night away just us, which will be amazing - it’s literally a local Hilton where we can sleep and have breakfast in bed watching Sunday morning TV.

You’ve got to think of yourself as it’s draining putting on a show to demonstrate that you’re doing okay.

Hello
Thank you both so much for replying.
I've actually taken a couple of days off this week due to illness (flu-like symptoms) so that has made me get off the treadmill for a bit. I've literally stayed in my PJs all day today!
I think that I will ask for a day at home, my little ones are growing so quickly I do feel as though I'm missing out on doing little things like the school run.
I do love my work, but I love my girls more. I have the ability to give them this fantastic life but don't feel like it's enough.
I used to religiously take vitamins and exercise once a day even if it was just to have a walk around the block but that has slipped. I will make more of an effort and thought today I'll write a list and then start working through it on things I can adapt or change.
Thanks so much again for your advice, I really do appreciate it x