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Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Original poster

Breakup cant cope

10 replies

hellob12 · 05/05/2019 16:31

Hi everyone this is my first time posting. I’m 26. My boyfriend of 1 year and a half broke up with me on friday and i cant make sense of it. We dont live together, no kids. He’s a workaholic and has a lot going on with his parents at the moment and he’s not very good with emotional stuff so hasn’t opened up to me about whats going on. he’s said this isn’t fair on me that after 18 months we havent started building a life together because of his issues and because he works so much. I am sure that there isn’t anyone else. I have never loved someone like this before and the pain is eating me up I feel suicidal. This was the best 18 months of my life. He wasn’t abusive at all, kind, respectful, honest, trustworthy, fun. What do I do if I never meet anyone like him again? I cant stop thinking about killing myself. I don’t know why I’m posting this I just need to hear something reassuring i suppose

OP posts:

Sexnotgender · 05/05/2019 16:33

Please speak to the Samaritans

It will get better, it’s awful right now I’m sure.

Whichwayfoward · 05/05/2019 16:39

I'm so sorry you feel so incredibly down. Relationship breakups can be so painful but if you are thinking about suicide then you need to act now.

Have you someone in real life that you can reach out to? Samaritans can listen if you think you need to be heard.

How you feel now is not permanent. Pain eases.

Please talk to someone you trust. Take care.

Getmyfrownupsidedown · 05/05/2019 16:41

Hi
I know that right now it feels like the most unbearable and excruciating pain... but please hear us when we say it does get better.
But it takes time. Time really is the only healer.
Let him work on his issues and you take the time to focus your energies on you.
If it's meant to be, he'll be back.
If it isn't, time will have make you stronger than you feel now to in order to build a life without him.
Hugs along the way.

hello1b2 · 05/05/2019 16:50

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me that is really kind. I am just so low. Plenty of people have issues and work crazy hours but don’t abandon their partner? I just keep thinking if he wanted to stay with me he would have but he hasn’t because I am so worthless and undeserving

Orange6904 · 05/05/2019 16:52

If it was all going well it's probably some issue with him, don't blame yourself. You seem very blindsided so I think it is something to do with him. Has he mentioned anything leading up to it all?

hello1b2 · 05/05/2019 16:58

Sausage He was abroad for work for 2 months (feb to april) and I had uni deadlines until end of April so we haven’t had a chance to even catch up properly or get back into normal routine. He keeps saying he should have made more of an effort when he got back and that all he does is disappoint me by putting work first and cant let me down anymore. It seems like he made this decision overnight because everything seemed fine to me and we were looking forward to catching up properly after my exams

MNHQ

LilyMumsnet · 05/05/2019 17:02

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

hello1b2 · 05/05/2019 17:04

I dont know how to stop this pain I can’t eat and i took sleeping pills throughout yesterday so that i didnt have to be awake and feel this awful. Don’t know how I’m going to go to work on Tuesday

hello1b2 · 05/05/2019 17:05

Lilymumsnet thank you

Sourdoughpizza · 05/05/2019 23:04

OP you poor thing. I have been there, sudden breakups are the worst. My only advice would be to try and switch your brain off, relax, listen to music, cry, reach out to friends and family etc. Give it some time and you may be able to get some perspective on it

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