What small things can I do every day to make me feel better?

[CoffeeChocolateWine]

Just that really. I’m really struggling at the moment. Things have been so shit for about 18 months now and I’m totally worn down by it. I’m depressed and exhausted. Something inside me has switched off and I can’t turn it back on. I don’t enjoy anything. I’ve lost my sense of humour. I just spend each day going through the motions, doing what I need to do to get through the day so I can sleep for a few hours and then go through it all again. I’m fed up of feeling so numb. I want to feel better. I want my children to have a happy Mum. They deserve more. So what can I do to help lift my spirits? I need some ideas. And I would also like some suggestions for uplifting books to read...either self-help or fiction.

Make a really delicious healthy and nutritious supper for your family?

When I get up, I open the window, lean out and inspect the day for a couple of minutes. It always makes me feel better.

A nice bath
Listening to the birds in the garden
Bouncing on my mini trampoline
Not wearing PJs after 9 am
Audiobooks
The calm app, for the daily mediation and breathing
Fruit
Getting out for a walk, lunch, drive
Making myself do something I find hard, for the sense of achievement.
Good luck

In terms of books try The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary. I’m halfway through it and finding it uplifting so far.

Try to get outside/fresh air every day.
Get some exercise (even just walking, doing anything physical is better than nothing.
Drink plenty of water.
Eat healthily (fresh veg/salad, cut out sugary/processed crap), cut down on the things in your username!
Don't spend too much time online/on screens.

Having a shower
Giving someone a compliment
Buying yourself flowers
Changing sheets on your bed
Cuddling a pet or family member
Reading
Listening to upbeat or relaxing music
Guided meditation on YouTube

I've been where you are now and still working on getting out of my rut but one small thing I really enjoy and makes me feel better is to do a skincare routine,I use Superdrug own brand naturals hot cloth cleanser and I feel as though I've had a mini facial when I've done it.

I hope you find something to help you

Susan Calman's audiobook - Cheer Up Love (adventures with the crab of hate). Especially in the second half. Also, her second book Sunny Side Up - about kindness and joy but still listening to this one.

Just being outside or doing some exercise. It can be the last thing you feel like but can really help shift things.

Oh I’ve been there OP!

Things that work for me and I stick to this routine for the sake of my sanity.

-set my clothes and towel out for next morning (if I don’t, I talk myself out of getting up)
-wake up before everyone else

• open my curtains and window straight away and throw my covers back to air my bed

-shower -dress -nice breakfast (for me that’s a variation of eggs/bacon/toast) -go outside as early in the day as possible (helps that I have a dog so need to go out with him) -eat regularly, no diets- just tasty healthy meals that I will look forward too.

Opening your bedroom curtains/blinds as soon as you waken up.
Watching comedy sitcoms or lighthearted-childrens programs.
Getting outside part of the day.
Buying things you like, not expensive items, but when you go food shopping think about what you really like rather than just buying same old stuff because that's what you are used to buying.
I think when we are down its easy to forget what we like.
Smile at yourself in the mirror.

Going to the gym and seeing the results is helping me through an incredibly stressful period.

When I’m struggling I do a gratitude diary(morning know, it sounds so worthy, but it really helps) . In a notebook I write 10 things that I’m grateful for. It always lets stay at f light in no matter how I feel.

Go for a nose walk in nature
Download the peace app and do some guided meditation
Take the time to have a bath and do your hair nice.
Read a book with a nice cup of coffee or hot choxolate.

I've been where you are, it's hard

How much time could you spare? I try to make time for yoga every night when the kids are in bed, just 20 mins or so does wonders. There's some great videos on YouTube.

If you could spare more time, half an hour three times a week - you could do the couch 25k app. Jogging really helped my confidence although it feels hard to start with it's worth it.

DH has a mindfulness app he uses on his phone, just ten minutes each day makes a difference for him.

I hope you find something that helps x

Have a good sleep routine that stays similar every night- so that you go to bed and get up at similar times.
Food like oily fish, porridge, spinach and berries are naturally mood improving
Do some exercise every day outside if possible
Mindfulness activities that focus on the present are really beneficial
Agree with reducing screen time
Try and learn something new whether it's a new recipe or craft or diy or study- great for building confidence and self esteem

Go for a walk every day in a nice park or somewhere with lots of plants and trees.
Give a little donation to charity even if it’s just 20p in a collection Tin here and there or a packet of biscuits for a food bank. Knowing we’re helping others less fortunate often gives us a boost.
Play with your kids. A 10 minute chasing game where you all runaround can be a good mood boost too. Be the tickle or hug monster.

Thank you so much for these great suggestions. It makes so much sense but stuff that I’m just not doing at the moment. Like the going for a walk in a lovely park...I walk my kids to school and then come home, might go shopping at some point and then walk to pick them up from school. I’m finding it so hard to find the energy and enthusiasm to do anything. I spend too much time looking at screens, I don’t eat properly (too much coffee, chocolate and wine as per username!)

But tomorrow is a new day and I will go for a proper walk with my baby. Also love the idea of a gratitude diary. Some other lovely ideas too x

I read somewhere that having a soak in a warm bath can really help mild depression as it improves circulation. I started taking a nice bath straight after the kids go to bed and I think it's really helping

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this - I have been there, and often still am there.

Here are a few things that make me feel a bit better:

Knitting
Going to bed with a novel
Waking up before the kids and sitting in bed with a cuppa and a book
Finding podcasts I enjoy and going for a walk listening to them
Cutting back on social media - I have a rule of not looking at it before 2pm
Daytime naps
Hanging out the washing (I know this is a bit weird but this is the only domestic chore I actually enjoy - standing outside in the sun early in the morning, breathing the fresh air, enjoying the silence)
Giving myself permission to drop the domestic chores that stress me out ... my house is cobwebby but my lax dusting has not killed anyone

One more thing that made a big difference for me ... getting a fitbit. It really motivated me to get up and about and to make time for walking, and to enjoy it. 2 years later, the effect hasn't worn off. Fitbits can be expensive, but I know a few people who have bought much cheaper fitness trackers (around £30) and are really impressed by them.

Spending too much time on our phones does affect our mental health unfortunately. It’s good you’ve noticed.
Have you thought about temporarily taking down any apps that you know aren’t really doing you much good?

Just checking in...I’ve have taken just a few of these suggestions and implemented them over past 3 days. My walk in the park hasn’t happened as my 10mo has been ill, but instead I have got my outdoor fix from spending a lot of time in my garden. Fresh air, listening to birds and my garden is almost completely deweeded. Nice feeling of satisfaction. I have spent much less time on my phone and replaced two of my coffees a day with more water. Small steps but it feels positive

Hi OP,
Lovely to hear that some of the suggestions are working.
One thing I found massively helpful when I felt like you (and I did feel excactly like that - going through th emotions, no joy at all) was to do something I'd never done before every single day and record it in a notebook. Didn't matter how small it was. (E.g. walk back from school via a new route; go to a different food shop or cafe; order a different drink; try on clothes in a store I don't normally go to.) For the first month I was still just going through the motions, but then something amazing happened I just started to get interested in the world around me again and also the small changes paid off. Like - walking a new route back from school meant I bumped into someone I liked who I'd not seen in years. Trying new flavours of food and drinks got me thinking more about my diet and making some better choices. Also, it made me braver and more up for new experiences - being asked to socialise with new people or asked to join a project I knew little about etc.
By the end of the year (I did it every day for a year) I was feeling better than I had in a decade and had some amazing experiences. Now, whenever I feel depression taking hold, I try to do something different. I think (not certain) that part of depression is that our neurological pathways seem to get stuck. I feel like a frozen computer when I'm down. Doing something different, new or a bit scary makes strong new neural pathways. (Someone who knows about neuroscience will probably come on and explain that I'm talking nonsense, but I read up on it a bit and it works, whatever the reason.)

If you want a list of ideas, I'll do one. If you have a gratitude journal, you could make a list in the back of it, of things you've never done but want to try doing. Great to add stuff you want to try doing with DC too.

Thank you so much for posting @woodcutbirds...this is exactly the kind of inspiration and positivity I need to hear. Love this idea of doing something new every day although not sure I can think of that many ideas right now...will give it some thought. And if you’re sure you don’t mind sending me some ideas too that would be amazing.