Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

What small things can I do every day to make me feel better?

36 replies

CoffeeChocolateWine · 29/04/2019 15:38

Just that really. I’m really struggling at the moment. Things have been so shit for about 18 months now and I’m totally worn down by it. I’m depressed and exhausted. Something inside me has switched off and I can’t turn it back on. I don’t enjoy anything. I’ve lost my sense of humour. I just spend each day going through the motions, doing what I need to do to get through the day so I can sleep for a few hours and then go through it all again. I’m fed up of feeling so numb. I want to feel better. I want my children to have a happy Mum. They deserve more. So what can I do to help lift my spirits? I need some ideas. And I would also like some suggestions for uplifting books to read...either self-help or fiction.

OP posts:
PowerBadgersUnite · 02/05/2019 18:18

Just a follow on from the above post. One thing I do when I'm really depressed that helps is to write down not just new things I do but a list of everything I have done that day that is positive. On some days this will include simply getting dressed in clean clothes, getting dd to school on time, putting on some washing, going to the shops.

When I feel like I'm so down I'm not doing anything then it helps to finish the day with a list of things I have done so I can see that even on a bad day I am still achieving some things however small they might seem to other people.

If you are doing a journal you could add this in each day.

gotmychocolateimgood · 02/05/2019 20:39

New things you could try:
Recipes
Bubble bath in a different scent
Watch a new TV programme
Style your hair differently
Listen to a new band on YouTube/ Amazon
Take DCs to a new park
Go to a cafe with baby and order a different drink or cake to normal
Browse the reduced section in the supermarket - introduces new tastes
Find some clothes you haven't worn for a while, maybe style them differently eg trousers with a different top
Go to a bookshop or library and try a new book
Buy a scented candle in a new scent
Do something new with the DCs eg play cards, make playdoh, plant some seeds

woodcutbirds · 02/05/2019 22:14

Totally agree with PowerBadgers (what a great name!) above. I also have an At Least I list that I write every evening. Even if I feel like shit and don't leave the house I write 'At least I put a washload on/cuddled DS/fed the cat/emptied the bins' etc. Usually really trivial stuff like that. But then some days I think I've spent all day in a stupor on the sofa and am giving myself a really hard time for it, then remember I was actually really productive before I crashed. It's a really good way of keeping tabs on sliding into and climbing out of depressive episodes too. I start to notice I'm achieving a bit more and that makes me feel brighter, or notice I'm achieving less and that makes me activate all the things I do to try and stop depression taking hold.

woodcutbirds · 02/05/2019 22:43

New things list of stuff I tried, from tiny and easy to more challenging:

walk a local street you've not been down before
listen to a band on you tube you've not heard before
go to a new cafe
order a drink you've never had before
cook a new recipe
buy a fruit you've never had before (physallis, starfruit. jackfruit etc)
and a veg (prickly cucumber, romanesco, weird wild mushrooms)
take DC to a new park
ride a new form of transport (e.g. tandem, steam train, rickshaw, open top bus, speedboat, unicycle, skateboard)
read a book in a day
watch a foreign film with no subtitles and work out what it's about
have a beauty treatment you've never had e.g. get your eyebrows threaded/mani/pedi/facial/hair colouring
climb a tree (I loved doing that)
build a den/snowfort/massive sandcastle/bonfire with DC
draw with pavement chalk
make mocktails, lemonade or smoothies with DC
design a new cocktail
write a poem (don't need to show it to anyone)
hold/cuddle a kind of animal you've never touched before
go birdwatching (if you start feeding birds in your own garden, you get loads of rare ones)
plant some seeds
make a cushion
upholster or paint a piece of furniture
make jewellery
write an app
do a free online course
walk barefoot outside
hike somewhere new
do a day trip somewhere new
book a holiday somewhere new
learn a new language (not necessarily fluently, just enough to order food and get directions on holiday)
apply for a new job or a grant
enter a competition
volunteer for something
talk to a stranger
dance in the kitchen
sing in the shower
do a sudoku
write to the newspapers
visit an unusual museum like Dennis Severs candlelit house or the underground postal train
go to a live gig of a kind of music you never normally listen to

You can also look at online bucket lists. You start to get a feel for what works best for you. I realised I'm quite adventurous with food, music, books, art etc so all of that was no big deal. But so self-conscious that singing in the shower even when no one else was in the house made me cringe. I found it really hard to do but felt weirdly brave and cheered up by doing it. Same with dancing in the kitchen, talking to a stranger etc. All the slightly extravert things were hard but they all helped me feel happier and more confident. And overcoming tech- phobia led me to get a new job.
Also, by the end of the year, I was just more motivated and managed to get us off on holiday to more interesting places than usual. And I visited places I'd wanted to visit for decades but never got round to. It just eases you back into enjoying life again.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 02/05/2019 23:09

You are all awesome. Thank you so so much. I’m feeling inspired and more positive just reading these ideas.

OP posts:
Coconutsandcobbles · 02/05/2019 23:20

What a great thread. Loads of great ideas.

woodcutbirds · 03/05/2019 07:58

When you do new stuff - even if not every day, I think it really helps to write it down. Even if it's a tiny thing. It tells your brain you're not so stuck. That and the gratitude journal and the 'At least I' journal are ime better than ADs for long term eradication of depression. I was on ADs for the best part of twenty years. Doing something new every day for a year got me off them and has kept me off them. It rewires your brain - I'm sure of it.
OP, you've inspired me to practise what I preach. I've not done something new for a few weeks. I'm going to today.

katelily2017 · 03/05/2019 08:02

@CoffeeChocolateWine sorry you are feeling so down. Might be a stupid question but have you been to the doctor and thought about getting some help? I know not everyone likes the idea of medication but it has improved my life ten fold. It's so horrible feeling like that. I really do hope you feel better. Sending lots of love xxx

CoffeeChocolateWine · 03/05/2019 08:48

@katelily2017...I’ve experienced depression twice in my life before and managed to get through it using herbal remedies, support from friends and counselling, making positive changes and just time I think. I also had no real ties at the time so I was able to take each bit of my life that I was unhappy with and change it. So I quit the job I hated and started a college course, moved out of the house I shared with people I wasn’t getting on with and moved in with one of my best friends and left an unhappy relationship. Gradually things got a lot better. But it’s not that simple this time. So many other people to consider. I bought a herbal remedy but then realised I can’t take it as I’m breastfeeding. I tried to get help with counselling, both couples and individual, but the first people have kept me waiting for a regular appt for two months, and then we started with someone else and have a month to wait for our next appt. It’s a long time to wait when your life is sinking. I’ve made an appt with my gp but again waiting time is 3 weeks. I’m fed up with waiting around for someone to fix me. So I came to the conclusion that it’s something I need to do myself. Two of my best friends who I would see several times a week have moved away from the area and my other good friends work whereas I’m looking after my baby and occasionally work freelance. I need to get myself out to some baby groups but my confidence is so low I always find excuses not to. But that can definitely be something new for me to try.

OP posts:
PowerBadgersUnite · 03/05/2019 14:23

I think you have exactly the right attitude Coffee. I have a chronic mental health condition and have come to realise that ultimately it takes a range of approaches to manage mental health. I take medication, but that isn't enough on its own. I also have therapy and need to do stuff like the things suggested on these threads because there is no one magic quick fix. It's hard work sometimes but it's worth it to keep my head together.

Over the past few weeks I've been having a bout of depression but took up a yoga class and have been journalling and keeping doing the things I need to do. I'm just starting to feel the clouds lifting and it feels great to know that I can get through this.

KneelJustKneel · 03/05/2019 14:25

What a fab idea for a thread.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page