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Reached the bottom and want to die

1 reply

hopeandhelpless · 17/04/2019 14:03

I don't think I could possibly feel any worse in my life ever than I do right now. I've always been up and down with depression since I was 12. I'm 22 now with 3 kids and I love them and they are all that keeps me happy. But otherwise I'm really miserable in life, I love that I've had my babies young but life just feels too much for me. I'm sick of depending on medication to make me feel better. Is this what life is going to feel like forever? I'm so fed up. I can't do the everyday anymore, I can't go to bed at night and wake up with no motivation, no go, no positive feelings any longer. I've been considering hanging myself for months, I'm just worried about what would happen to my kids because my family is shit and so is their dad (all 3 have the same dad). I would want them to go into care but don't want them to be separated but I know that's asking too much. I feel selfish for wanting to end my life but I can't see it getting better for me. I'm all my children have but I don't feel that I am enough. I'm rubbish. I hate life, how things are these days disgusts me, I hate the world we live in. Just can't cope.

HopeMumsnet · 17/04/2019 14:25

Hi hope, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Flowers for you, hope, the bit where we have young kids is a struggle for everyone, even if things are on an even keel. We hope you find the support you need.

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