I hate myself. I just fuck up all the time. I am supposed to be going on holiday tomorrow but i just don't want to wake up. I know its cliche but i honestly believe that people are cursed by my presence. Ive fucked up at work. The chances are it wont come to anything and someone more experienced than me has reassured me it will be ok. However it has made me question if im suitable for the job. The trouble is i dont think im suitable for any job. If i lose this job we are fucked. The fallout will mean we will lose our house and my DP has had enough.
Im frettung and my dp says im going to ruin the holiday. He is probably right.
I have bpd and im in therapy and on meds so please dont recommend those things.
I know this thread will be deleted but i need a hand hold. I don't feel safe and cant tell anyone irl