Struggling really badly

[lenovo2019]

Really struggling with my mental health right now, been diagnosed with bulimia & depression from aged 12 (19 now).

I'm not at uni but hoping to go in September.

I moved out of my parents recently to live with my boyfriend (parents and I didn't get along, not much contact now).

As I moved out of my parents I no longer receive UC (£230pm) as my boyfriend earns more money, but can't give me any.

I've had PIP since I was 14 (£430pm) which was used to support me at home and help my parents out but I had a review recently and I think they will either take it away or reduce it severely.

I have a credit card to pay off that I use for emergencies (most recently a broken laptop that I need to use for job searching & studying) £280 debt from that.

Also a payday loan I stupidly took out when I was 18, £300 left on that.

I feel useless, I spend my days crying or sleeping whilst my boyfriend is out at work, I can't find a job & keep it as I struggle with my MH so badly and it affects me that much. I find it hard to leave the house too. I have no UC anymore to help me buy food and pay my payments off the debt.

I have recently started CBT on the nhs but so far it seems pretty useless.

Whilst it's a nice sunny day today I have never felt worse, useless, lonely, my boyfriend doesn't listen when I say I'm struggling, I have £27 only, no where else to go and I just wish I wasn't here. I might get a payment on the 6th from PIP but I doubt it.

Oh and I also think I have a UTI but can't get to the doctors and can't afford a prescription. Bad pain.

Imo I would make contact with your dps.
Your bf isn't supporting you in any sense at all op.
Sorry you are having a rubbish time.

@Chocolateisfab they're not interested. They put up with my mental health for so many years and they can't do it anymore as it affects my siblings (binging & purging, sleeping all day etc).

Thank you

Sorry your dps do you a disservice now op. Do you get help with your issues? A therapist? Could you look for a flat share or a lodger opportunity?
My dd is 29 and can't imagine letting her struggle on alone.

@Chocolateisfab I can't afford paid accommodation.

I had a therapist from age 12-18 but when I turned 18 the support stopped and I was on a waiting list for 9 months with nothing. I have 5 sessions of CBT now (3 left).

He just ignores me when he's around, only speaks to me when it's something negative or he wants sex.

Can you speak to your local council authority? They have a vulnerable adult service. Being with your bf isn't going to be a positive existence.

Can you try contacting somewhere like Centrepoint for advise.

I do think you need to get out of the environment you're in, I don't think your BF is being very supportive.

Sorry to hear you're struggling OP. I found my teens years up to around age 20 to be really difficult so I totally understand. Do you find antidepressants help at all?

The only thing I can say is once you get into full time study/work things really take a turn for the better. And although you don't want to go outside it really would help to go for a walk.

I used to set myself a task for each day of the week (could be as simple as walking to the supermarket and back) and always felt better when that job was ticked off.

In terms of money I can't really advise as not in the UK so don't understand the system but could you even get an evening or two's work a week in a pub or something just for a little spending money? And again to help your MH.

It will get better so hang in there

Sorry also meant to say it could be better to go back to your parents for now rather than living with your bf

I know an adult with anxiety and some other issues who volunteers at an animal shelter one day a week. It has a massive positive impact on his mh.

I think you should move back home and go to the GP and tell them just how badly you are struggling.

To be honest, if you’re this poorly, you’d be well advised to take a deferment of going to uni.

Also go to CAB or orther advice charities and make sure that you are claiming all you entitled to.

Hello 19 year-old who has chosen to use Mumsnet to reach out!

I can't afford paid accommodation.

What about when you go to university? Could you move back with your parents until you get something like halls sorted? Perhaps by that time you’ll have a part time job to top-up your university loan.

Hello everyone
We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.
Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.
So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.
Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.
We're going to move your thread over to our Mental Health board in a moment, where we think you might get some support targeted towards those issues.

You’re not going to be able to live off your loan unless you can supplement it. Will you be eligible for DSA?

Why did you move in with bf if he's so horrible to you? You've no food, do you not share household expenses? Move back to your parents if you can.

Hi everyone, I took a nap.

Why was my thread reported? Sorry if I upset/worried anyone.

One of the things really keeping me going actually is being able to attend uni in September. I do have a place confirmed and accommodation is available- I would probably need a part time job when I'm there for a little money but I'm hoping the maintenance loan I'm entitled to will cover housing costs.

I'm thinking of contacting family I have in London, they're always very supportive and have reached out since I moved from my parents, I just never really told them how bad it had got.

@Bookworm4 He wasn't horrid before! He encouraged me to leave my parents.

@Proudirishnotpaddy is that disability allowance for students? I did think about that and I hope I'd be a candidate?

@Chocolateisfab I would love to volunteer, I love animals- there are just none near me, they tend to be quite rural unfortunately.

@mrsk28 Thank you, I'm so glad things have improved for you. That's encouraging to hear.

Yeah, good idea about the walks, sometimes I have to go out for essentials and I do usually like it (tend to go out at night though as less people= less anxiety).

Thank you :)

It sounds like a begging thread tbh. Sorry.

That came out wrong. I don’t think you’re begging at all, it just sounds like a begging thread. It sounds similar to.

Op you could register at walkmydoggy or similar. Lots of benefits to taking a dog out!!