I'm 6 months pregnant (first baby) and have been with dh for a long time. We own our house, the baby was very much planned and we are financially stable. We've both been on cloud nine for months or so I thought, he talks excitedly about the baby on a daily basis. I've been completely and utterly caught off guard but I've found suicide notes hidden away. I stumbled across them completely by accident and now I don't know what to do. There was one addressed to me, one to our unborn son and one to his mother. I only read the one to me as I couldn't take much more but it basically just apologises and says he didn't want to fail as a father just like his dad had (his dad commuted suicide when my dh was five)
I'm at a loss with how to handle this. He's definitely safe and alive right now, but all I can think is for how long and I'm at a complete loss with how to do this. Just this morning he left for work with a big hug, cheery love you and a kiss for bump. He's a happy man, the last person anyone who knows him would expect to even think of anything like this. He's always been vocal about how much he hates his dad for doing what he did to his family and that he was a coward for doing so, I can't comprehend how he could even think of doing this. How do I handle this? I can't tell his family, it will break them. I don't know who to turn to