My dh is possibly going to prison. My ds has just been diagnosed with autism. I have never felt a success or pretty. I have mental health issues going back to when i was raped age 9. I feel fucking lonely and unattractive. A failure and a mug. I have no real friends and my family won't help me due to dh's crime. I want to die tbh. The only thing that is keeping me hear on earth is my son. I cant help but feel what the fuck did i do to deserve this life. Am i such a bad person that everything in my world bites me on the ass at every available opportunity. Im not on hear to get sympathy. I dont mind if noone answers. I just want to get it out their because i have noone to talk too. Im terrible at replying anyway. Sorry move on to another post. I just need to vent.