I just want to go!

[NothingButGreySkies]

I'm finding the days harder to live.I keep on telling myself wait until certain events happen but I don't think I can actually live anymore. I feel emotionally disconnected to the world and the only thing that is keeping me going is that one of these days I will take my life. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children and I've tried to stay strong for them but I have no fight left in me. I have gone to the GP 3 weeks ago and they prescribed me Setraline. I don't think it's helped at all, I feel exactly the same even more determined to go through with it! I have felt like this for most of my life and have had a few failed attempts. I've spoken to my parents (who are very religious by the way) and I just don't feel like they are taking me seriously! I'm finding hard to be around people, to the point that on Sunday at a family party I found myself upstairs crying uncontrollably. I am overwhelmed by my sensitive nature and just feel I don't belong here. I just wanted to get this off my chest!

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

You can get through this.
Go back to the GP or speak to someone at a charity. Think of those 3 children who love and need you. It may not be easy, but it doesnt have to be so hard and lonley x

Sorry you feel like this

Three weeks on sertraline is still early days. It can make you feel worse at the beginning. I would definitely go back to your gp. They may suggest increasing your dose. Also not everyone gets on with the first AD they try, so he could swap you to another type.

Hang on in there, if only for your children for now. They need you.

It will get easier eventually. You may need the right meds or maybe some counselling. Maybe ask your gp if he can refer you for counselling?

Sending you hugs and

You do belong here. You are having a tough time but you have got through it in the past and you will again. Look after you. Take each hour at a time. You will have highs and lows.We all do. Some of us feel it more than others. Sounds silly when you are in such despair but slow down and find a small thing you are grateful for and focus on the small things, watch your children playing and laughing, focus on small things that give you pleasure, look to now- not too far ahead.This is what helped me and what I learned through CBT which really turned my life around.( At last a life-Paul David was great explaining De-personalisation- and showed the way past it for me). I would definitely go back to your G.P. for a talk about your options.Look after you.

Your children need that sensitive nature in their life!!! That is without a doubt.

I'm in Glasgow if that's near you I'd happily meet you for a coffee and just listen with an unbiased ear. I'm a mum of two that's just got diagnosed with depression. The tablets take time but they can increase your want to take your own life initially it's one of the serious side effects please contact your gp and see what they suggest but I think it will ge to try something else.

It can take up to 4-6 weeks for Sertraline to make an impact. Do you feel able to go back to your GP and ask for a referral to the IAPT service? It sounds like you are in a really dark place and I know it may feel hard to reach out and try and get support but please go and see your doctor.

Really sorry you're feeling so low.
I just wanted to say that my teenage daughter was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and has been on anti depressants for almost a year. The doctor kept close tabs on her and put the dose up after a few weeks. She also had regular counselling which really helped.
While she hasn't been 'cured' she is noticeably different now. She is beginning to make life plans again and I could cry with relief.
Please don't give up. Take each day one at a time and be kind to yourself.

We are all here for you and sending you virtual hugs and strength

Hello nothingbutgreyskies, i hope you’re okay. so sorry you feel so lost, I know how you feel.
I’m on sertraline too and it made me feel absolutely awful in the first few weeks, I had a few days of being in a very dark place and feeling suicidal, but it does get better and once they kick in you will see a real difference.

Please don’t do anything, wait until the tablets kick in, I promise you’ll see a difference and it will get better, it took a month for my tablets to kick in but I feel so much better. Think of your children aswell, they don’t want to live a life without their mum. Have you told them how you feel?? They could help.
Please let us know how you’re doing

You will get through this - with some drugs and support. Life won't always be like this - keep going and try different things. Don't give up. You are loved xx

I'm so sorry to hear your having a troubling time, please speak to someone.

I lost my father to suicide in October 2018 and it's ruined my life I'm left with horrible thoughts everyday.

You can get through this...be strong go and talk to someone and if they don't take you seriously go to the hospital xxx

Ask your doctor for an emergency referral to your local community mental health services team.
If you are feeling constantly suicidal then you need more urgent help than just Sertraline. Depending on your age anti-psychotic depressants can make you even more suicidal.

Your 3 beautiful children need you. Please be strong for a little bit longer and tell your GP you are suicidal and need that referral. Otherwise, when you feel suicidal, call 999 and ask for an ambulance. Don't hold back. Get yourself the help you need.