Not coping

[LilQuim]

I don't know what has set this off, but I've been struggling for a while - can't keep on top of housework, dishes, buying & cooking food, getting dressed/showered.

Today, I'm in tears, cannot stop. I just feel I can't cope & this can't be what life is meant to be.

Bad time of year (anniversary of horrific violence), working on tough stuff in AA, binge eating, feeling so alone.

Anyone got any tips, just to get through today. I've tried tv show (can't concentrate), don't feel I have friends I can call (can't pick up the phone).

I know I should kick myself up my lazy, fat arse & sort my pigsty of a house, but it all seems so overwhelming.

Thank you if you read this far.

When I was like this, I took on the persona of a Spanish or Russian cleaner (don't know why these nationalities, they just popped into my head). Then I would clean, all the while giving a running commentary in the appropriate accent about how slatternly the person I was cleaning up after was (ie myself!) Sounds bonkers but usually worked for me.

@TheSilveryPussycat wow. That's awesome! I managed a bit of rage cleaning - then rage texted my neighbour to sort her fucking bins out (long bin thread overdue!!!). I'm going to try this persona - no more for today, but tomorrow. Thank you for that tip.

How are you feeling at the min lilquim?
Sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed with everything, I know the feeling!
What’s your favourite food? You could cook that/ order in a takeaway, run a bath, read a book, bake something, watch a film with some chocolate or even go for a drive? Could go to the supermarket if you have the strength and buy yourself some flowers and put them in a nice vase in your home. Little things but they can help!!

Regarding shower/bath - even though I knew I would most likely feel a fair bit better afterwards, I just couldn't make myself have one. But sometimes I felt as if I could shower but the feeling was fleeting. In tbe end I watched out for this feeling, and literally ran to tbe shower and got under in, before I could change my mind. With baths, I would run a hottish one, then might even have a cup of tea, before getting in because otnerwise it would be waste.

And I always did feel better for it.

@BonnieandBell thank you. I went to M&S & got some ready meals & sweets. Utter crap, but I'm too exhausted to think of anything better. I can't have a bath at the moment as I had steroid injections into ankle joints & can't use bath til after 10 days. I've had a big cry & then curled up watching tv. Going to bed now, with splitting headache. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Thank you so much.

@TheSilveryPussycat I'm the same - always feel better after one! Can't use bath at mo as had steroid injections & need to keep wounds out of water. Can have quick shower. Then I think "I've got to wash my hair too..." & it feels too much. Dunno why it's so hard sometimes. I put on clothes & went to M&S - just hoped nobody got too close!

I prefer to wash my hair in the basin. I am an old gimmer, and we didn't have showers - or even know what they were - in my young day...

@TheSilveryPussycat I sometimes just do it over the edge of the bath. Or I just ignore it too.

I'm a bit like this at the moment, sorry you're feeling this way too. I showered tonight for the first time in a week because I couldn't find the energy or motivation before. I'm the same, I think, I need to wash my hair and it all becomes too much. So instead I wash quickly in the wash basin. I'm also struggling to get out of bed and do anything, but I tell myself I'm being kind to myself and I'll do the housework when I feel up to it. I try to do the washing up several times a day before it gets too much, I clean the litter tray morning and night, that's about it. I watch tv that I enjoy and eat easy food. Eventually I'll have a day when I can face the other stuff.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

@Batsypatsy so sorry you're feeling this way too. I know that when it's bad I isolate more, which then can go either way - I feel calmer or I feel worse. It's exhausting! Hope you feel a bit stronger.

I have to say I should change my name because I think that area of my life is improved but right now I am wondering what the F life is all about .
Im 50 and thought by this stage I would be happier and enjoying life not facing a daily grind day after day . I’m so overwhelmed with struggling , putting kids through university, dealing with big unexpected expenses like huge repairs work on my car . My husband is self employed and he just seems to go from one crisis to another and I have begged him for years to just get a proper job , it doesn’t have to be earning a fortune just a nice steady wage and less stress . But he refuses he always chasing the next big job and making his bloody fortune and he has let life just pass him by . I am disillusioned so much with him .
I have no interest in anything at the moment feel lonely most of the time , I lost a truly good friend from cancer this past year and hat don’t have that connect with anyone else .
House needs cleaning and I started a bit today but other than keeping laundry going and tidying cushions I have no heart for much more.
I keep all my emotions hidden from everyone and I let it all out when alone .
I am walking daily but I have to mentally prepare myself for an hour or more to get out the door . When I get out it’s fine but it feels like another challenge to get through everyday .
Just hoping by posting I will feel better to get it out .

Sorry liquim meant to post this separate post as I didn’t want to monopolise yours but it same sort of stuff I suppose . hope you are feeling better. I need to wash my hair too .

@cantstopeating01 awwwwwe I honestly get exactly where you're coming from. I'm 51 on Friday & keep thinking surely this isn't my life. And why do I not have this basic shit sorted?

The stress with self-employment & finances must be awful.

I'm sending a hug & hope you do feel better getting it out.

@cantstopeating01 I'm glad you shared with me too - I think sometimes it helps to write this stuff down & the sharing definitely helps me. I beat myself up so much & think I'm the only person who lives like this / feels like this.

Aw thanks so much I’m going for my walk now so will reply later

@lilquim yeah you can kind of feel like your all alone in the world . And everyone else seems to have it allsorted but I guess that’s not true . Sometimes I have to remind myself that I have lots of positives in my life too .
Did the walk and bought some steak for a nice dinner later . The cleaning icant really face .

I hope your headache is better and your ankles too .

Hope you all managed to sleep a bit.

I got up at 3 today which is good going for me! I did go to sleep really late though and also took a coffee back to bed this morning and read a bit. I've managed to put some washing on but now sat in front of the tv.

Yeah I had a really good sleep but it’s definitely the walking that helps and not filling myself with sugar .
Sunday’s I hate as its back to work Monday and I find it a lonely day . But I got up and made a huge breakfast for the family and going to try be positive today .

You could try the 5 minute tip: any job that can be done in 5 minutes- just do it. It helps get some small stuff done, putting clothes away, tidying one surface etc. So at least something is achieved and you feel a bit better.

Hope you're all ok

Today may be a bit better. I didn't sleep much, but I've made myself go for a 20 minute walk, I'm going to make a casserole now for dinner, then maybe wash up if I can and call my mum for a chat. It's sunny outside which helps a bit.

Corona yes I try to do that. I put the light on in the rooms I need to tidy, and tidy the essentials, then turn the light off and move to the next room. Somehow the light thing helps me feel I've accomplished something - and reminds me which rooms I need to tidy.

@cantstopeating01 glad you got your walk & hope the steaks were delicious!

I was awake loads in the night with ear/sinus pain & still got it today.

Not moved from bed or sofa.

@Batsypatsy casserole sounds perfect. Sorry you're not sleeping well. That just makes everything much worse.

@Coronapop that's a good idea. Today I planned to sweep the floors, but was off my tits on painkillers & now back to being in pain.

But this is a good tip for when I'm feeling better. Thank you.

TheSilveryPussycat
That is brilliant! I’m totally going to use this technique!

OP make sure you’re getting your magnesium and B vitamins.
Watch something cheery (stand up comedy or a show that makes you belly laugh) and try to avoid scrolling on Facebook or MN.
Get out, even for 20 minutes. The fresh air will do you good.

Never Binge Again is a great book for binging, particularly on Audible.

And remind yourself it’s always darkest before the dawn