Hi all. Completely new to this but I am desperate for advice. My gf who was the love of my life dumped me on New Year’s Day. This has left me suicidal and depressed beyond belief. I am 39 and she is 46. She has two children from her marriage. Things were amazing between us but she always kept me away from the girls. I was almost her weekend play thing when the girls were away. She told me she loved me and I wanted to create a future together. Eventually she said she wanted me to get involved with the girls. I was beyond happy that she wanted this. We did a few things together at weekends. Some went well and a couple the girls were very quiet. I knew this would take lots of patience and time as I was a new man coming in to their lives. My ex did not really fight for it though. I would not see any of them in the week and would only really see her when the girls were away. This was not my choice but my ex’s. We have only been seeing each other a year but I was besotted and would give her my all and everything and more that she required. She suddenly started becoming very cold and distant in November. Felt like my head was on the chopping block which made me try even harder for her. We had a holiday booked for Xmas and we went away in it. Things were amazing and I thought we were going to pull through. I bought her amazing gifts and tried my hardest. As soon as we were back she went back to how she was before. I felt destroyed. She didn’t want any real interaction with me and we met up again on New Year’s Eve for a party. She pretty much didn’t even want to have me with her there. Next day I phoned her and she pretty much dumped me. I pleaded for more time. At the end of the week she met up with me to tell me it was over. Told me she never actually loved me, that it was her not me and that because I don’t have children this counted against me. Felt like all the amazing stuff we had done over the year was a lie. I have never felt pain like this even though I have had break ups before. She is literally the love of my life and I just can’t accept she never loved me. She has instantly moved on and removed our pictures from social media. We have messaged a few times and she said she is fine whilst I have been left destroyed. Some people have said she was wrong for me and didn’t treat me how I should be deserved to be treated. I love her and always will but how can someone do this to you? Please please help me. I can’t axcept closure. I know I need to get mentally stronger but just don’t know how to do it. I’ve heard all the platitudes like time will heal and love myself but I just don’t know how to do it. Please help!!!