What to do when you feel borderline suicidal

[sconebonjovi]

Just that really. I don't have any immediate plans to kill myself, but I have ADHD and am prone to impulsive, stupid behaviour. I'm under the care of a psychiatrist who is frankly, really quite useless, I have to remind him about which drugs I need etc, and he only really addresses my ADHD. Can't get a drs appointment.

By borderline suicidal I mean I can't stop thinking about hurting myself, and the pointlessness of my existence, and how nothing's getting any better. I don't want to carry on, but I also don't really know if I want to die.

sconebonjovi you need to make an emergency appointment with your GP and be completely honest about how you feel. You're not getting any support from your psychiatrist so you need to seek help elsewhere. What has caused these feelings? Has something in particular happened?

Suicidal ideation. It's good to know that you're safe at the moment, but I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

Are there any stressors that make you feel worse?

Hi sconebonjovi,

We're really sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. There are lots of organisations listed which can give you some support when you're feeling this low - please do take a look.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected], or call them free, any time from any phone, on 116 123.

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sending good wishes, OP.

Definitely make an emergency GP appointment.

Thank you for replying. Will try again to get a drs appointment in the morning, and have managed to get in with my psych on Thursday morning, although I doubt that will do much good.

@Januarybringstheblues nothing in particular has happened. If been struggling since Christmas and my low mood keeps just flaring up as such. I keep trying to reach out for help from professionals and it doesn't do any good, nothing changes. 10 years it took to get an ADHD diagnosis, and now they won't engage with any of my other problems. Just sick of feeling like this, I need answers

Definitely go back to gp but in the meantime there are little things you can do.

I keep a list of reasons I want to stay alive and recite it out to myself. I wrote it when I was feeling rational and it’s just short bullet points.
Also a list of positive things about you can be helpful. I have ADHD and am prone to talk down to myself and focus on everything I feel shit about. It helps lift the fog to hear nice things about myself sometimes.

If you feel the urge then try and distract yourself with any form of exercise. Run it out if possible. Any healthy form of distraction is good.

Good luck. This time of year is especially hard. Are you getting enough vit d?

I'm sorry you're feeling like this OP. My best friend committed suicide, she genuinely believed that the world would be a better place without her and had no idea how many people were devastated by her death. I agree with the other pp's that you must get specialist help but I would also say that no matter how low you feel, no matter how much you may think that nobody will miss you or care that you're dead you will be wrong. By ending your life you will cause so much pain and suffering to those that love you. They want you to live and be happy. Try to hold on to that thought and call someone and let them guide you through the dark times. I wish you all the best.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. @Sausagefingers9 I'll look into vit d.

I saw my psych today and he was slightly more helpful than usual I guess. He told me he finds me difficult to treat, and that he has been wondering for a while whether I might be bipolar instead of or as well as having adhd, so he's putting me on mood stabilisers to see if that helps. 8 weeks until they work though, not sure how I'll get through it

Take it step by step, hour by hour or minute by minute. Whatever gets you through.
Do you like audiobooks? I don’t know about you but I get very anxious at night and find them v useful for distracting myself without waking everyone.

Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.