Hi all
Was just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. I'm a first time mummy to a beautiful 5 week old boy who I love with all of my heart but I'm really struggling. I thought I would be a more natural mum than I am but I'm finding it all so hard I just keep crying and thinking I am not cut out to be a mum, i made a huge mistake and my son deserves better. The sleep deprivation is so bad I can't think straight, I can't remember the last time I showered or ate anything healthy with is not helping with the weight loss and my house is a tip. I just can't seem to get anything done. My son was early too so many of the things I wanted sorting before he arrived are still not done.My hubby is great with our son but is a shift worker so not around much and I'm finding myself really resenting him as I am doing most of the child care and all of the housework, shopping, sorting our finances etc (I've always done it all so he's used to it rather than being lazy is just thoughtless) i resent that he get a time to do what he wants and away from the baby. I'm beating myself up as I always wanted to be a mummy and I am so blessed to have our son so I feel ungrateful for moaning. I have always been so independent and capable but now im a mess and it's got to the point that I'm thinking about what ways I could commit suicide to look accidental so my husband can claim the life insurance although I couldn't do it to my family my mind takes me there . My husband has never been good with emotions so when I cry he doesn't hug me or try to talk it through with me. Is it normal to feel like this? Any advice would be appreciated xx