Do healthy people experience suicidal thoughts?

[Cheeeeislifenow]

I have n.c.
I am aware I am depressed, but it is situational as opposed to chemical Imbalance, if you get me?
Everyday I have suicidal thoughts, how I would do it, what would be the impact, I relay scenarios in my head such as the kids will be fine eventually etc.
I know this isn't true, i have no intention of ever acting on it, but I suppose I am trying to get an idea of how bad this is. I often wake up wishing I didn't, I function okay, but I am deeply unhappy and I just don't see it ever getting better. I think life is just bad for some people and that includes me.
However that being said I would never act on it because my logical brain knows how hurt my children would be and I am really really trying hard not to fuck them up and destroy there lives.
Not entirely sure what I hope to gain from this post,maybe someone has been through similar.

Thanks for all your responses..it's comforting to know that people understand.
I am afraid I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
I will definitely look at the cbt course.that looks very helpful.

Pleas don’t ever act on it!!!! I have seen the devastation it caused and many many life’s affected by it!!

This ^ Mother attempted twice, the scars caused run to the depths of ones soul. A counsellor recently said to me suicide is selfish but ultimately blameless, in their view.

@Millionsofthings I'm so sorry you've seen the effects.

I also understand, personally, some of the triggers that cause these thoughts. I've found my answers, I hope you can find help soon OP

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way, I hope some of the advice on here will be helpful. I just wanted to add from another perspective that I have never had thoughts like that, despite having lived through some long term challenging times and events.

You say that you wanted an idea of how 'bad' it is, I just wanted to say that from my point of view, if anyone I loved felt that way I would be devastated and do everything I could to help them make whatever changes were necessary to change the situation if it is the situation which is causing it. Is there anyone you can talk to IRL?

I'd consider myself mentally healthy but very occasionally wonder if I wouldn't be better off making a 3 line will leaving everything I own to my OH and thinking up a painless way to go. Not that I'd ever do it, of course. I wouldn't consider myself particularly depressed, just a bit too rational for my own good sometimes.

@simplysteve
I couldn't do it to my children.
Suicide ideation...I have looked that up, it seems to fit what's happening.
I think I will look into CBT that a I can do myself, it feels like my thoughts are what are overwhelming me.
I need to learn to live With them as they aren't going away .

You are overwhelmed. It can be suffocating. Imagine your inner voice is picking our your DC, take the time to tell your inner thoughts to piss off and don't be so mean.

I had these thoughts for years, some time ago. I know exactly what you mean - wouldn't act in it, but kept thinking of it. And I knew it was situational, too. I just wanted to say that I think it's not so unusual, and also it is something that in my experience can / will pass. You're getting some good advice re things to try and you should look into what you think will help, and you should think about the 'situation' - is there anything, however tiny, about that you can change? Also, try and think about yourself as if you are your own friend. What advice would you give her? You need your own compassion to kick in, directed inwards. But you're not strange / odd - you're going through a tough time and it WILL pass. "When you're going through hell, keep going." Wishing you all the best.

OP I felt exactly the same as you. I was very depressed for a long time, but like you I don't think it was something that medication could have fixed, I knew my situation and my home life were making me feel that way. I used to think I would rather not be here but knew I would never act on it.
My life has got better in the last couple of years due to a few changes made by myself and my partner (he was the one causing the biggest part of my problems). I feel a lot better now but it did take me a while to get back to "normal".
There is a history of depression in my family so I am very aware that it's something I will need to keep an eye on. People around me were not good at recognising the signs, my dp just thought I was crabbit and emotional all the time and couldn't understand why.
I still have the odd few days where I can see myself spiralling into a depressive mood and have to actively do things for myself that I know will help improve. Running and yoga help quite a bit.

Me personally, only when I've been on lansoprazole for a few weeks. It's the most bizarre thing me and GP have encountered. Thankfully there are other meds.

What would be your ideal life OP? If your depression is situational?

Is there anyway you can leave the situation causing you this pain.