Suicidal, not coping, not functioning and alone HELP!!!

[Rubyruby87]

Mum to 7minth old.

History of desperation and anxiety with longest period since Nov16 with no let up.

Suicidal, not functioning, not coping and just about able to do basic things for baby.

Been with perinatal services for over a year now. No help whatsoever tbh. Just call, visit, talk.

Can't cope without babies emotional needs, becoming so needy and demanding. Getting angry and starting to resent and hate baby.

Professionals seems to think I'm doing well. Don't know what their definition of well is. I'm not eating, sleeping, washing, dressing, going out (apart from appointments for mental health), socialising...

Have managed feeds, nappy changes and health visitor appointments and that's it.

Social thoughts there first in morning and last thing at night. Want to get away. Have help from babies dad but still not
Hoping it getting better mentally. Have contact with perinatal nurse, psychiatrist, psychologist and support eworker but I don't know what they do tbh. I just go to appointments, they ask questions, I leave and I'm just declining.

Asked for respite because of resentment and anger towards baby and other thoughts I haven't.m shared. It's not good for me and baby to be alone like this. Wanted perinatal nurse to take baby last time we met. Thinking of leaving him at hospital where I had him.

Asked about mbu but not been complying with meds so told big eligible. Now being told they're contacting social services for respite because they don't know what help is out there for me to get a break from baby so I can get better and sort my life out.

Help! What do I do?ifeel so alone and trapped and amrunning out of options.

Hi OP,

Can you call the crisis team or Samaritans. Talking to someone might help.
If you don't feel safe call 999 and talk to them.

Why isn’t the father providing respite?

Why are you not completing with medication? You need to help yourself as much as you can, taking medication being one thing you can do.

Things can improve, takes a while though.

Complying *^

Hi Rubyruby87,

We're really sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. Please do take a look - there are lots of organisations listed that can offer you advice.

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well. We're not sure if you've heard of an organisation called PANDAS? It was set up to help anyone struggling with antenatal and postnatal illnesses - please do take a look at their website here. They can provide online support and run local support groups. Their helpline number is 0843 28 98 401 and is open 9am to 8pm every day.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. You can call them free, any time, on call us free any time on 116 123.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sending good wishes, OP.

He is it's not enough.

I'm reluctant to take meds for something the doctors haven't diagnosed. How can they treat something they can't put a name to? And without any treatment or recovery plan in place?

I'm also worried about side effects. I've already had some relatively mild side effects and I'm not wellle bough to manage and monitor my own treatment effectively and can't rely on the professionals to do this so I'd rather not take the risk.

ps your post was so helpful.
NOT!

No advice OP, just a bit of virtual support. Take care, keep trying, keep asking for help, and then ask louder. Hope things start to improve for you soon.

Taking respite from SS is better than leaving the baby at the hospital! And more responsible imo. As for medications, your reasoning is bollocks - you're stressed and desperate but don't want to take medication as they can't put a name to what you have? Errrr "anxiety", surely? If not also depression. Why you wouldn't jump on every possible suggestion is beyond me

The MN team are trying to help you, Ruby.

I’m shocked and saddened at how unkindly and harshly some people are speaking to a suicidal person. This is not what I would expect from Mumsnet and could be incredibly damaging to a fragile person. Please think how you’d speak to a member of your family sitting next to you before you post.

I can hear that you’re really suffering and desperate. You don’t have to suffer alone - please contact Samaritans if you haven’t already and even if you can’t get through straight away. If talking is too difficult, you can email though texting gets a faster though not immediate reply. Take care, hope you get the help you need.

It sounds like you are feeling truly dreadful, so sorry to hear things have been so hard for so long. I too would encourage you to contact the Samaritans; you explain things really well here so perhaps you would find the email/text service useful.
The meds, if taken consistently, might give you just enough energy back to access other kinds of support which will make the difference long term; it sounds like there are a number of professionals around you, which on one hand is good as the support is there, but it sounds as if it's not really clear to you the role each plays and perhaps it's not providing you with the most effective support right now. I don't know what your relationship is with your child's father, but is he someone who could help you to remember to take them, for example, or support you with any side effects?
The social services respite sounds like it might be a good idea, if you are struggling with anger and resentment; maybe that will give you a bit of time back to take care of yourself, which it sounds like you don't really have right now and it's taking all your energy to look after baby.

@Rubyruby87,

We're just nipping back on to the thread as we've noticed the discussion might not be going quite as you'd hoped or expected.

As you probably already know, it can be hard to read tone online and it's also really easy to misconstrue what another poster might be trying to say.

We hope you can take some of the advice you've been given on the thread but, above all, as previous posters have said, it's really important that you seek RL help.

We hope things start to improve for you soon, OP.

Yes so am I ! Be bloody careful - this poor person is low and feeling desperate and hoping for support . What possible good can criticising her do ? There is a time and place for rebuke and when someone is this low , it is not the right time .
OP I have a daughter who has mental health problems and know how low you can feel . Of course you can’t lokk after a baby properly like this . Can you present at A and E ? They will have an on call psych who will assess you and with current suicide ideation you should get proper treatment even as an in patient