My eye doctor said there are scratches in my eyes. I have really bad tinnitus and ear pain because of excessive loud music. I still can't stop listening to loud music or use my smartphone. I got bullied and abused a lot: emotional, verbal, financial abuse by my parents and friends and relatives and other people I met away from home.
When I look back and see how if I had stood up for myself or left abusive situations earlier or made different decisions, I could have been happy and married now.
I am only 29 and my body is fucked up because of abuse.
I can't go to the movies because of tinnitus.
Who would wanna date a broken girl like me?
I feel suicidal.
Because of dry eyes, I might not be able to do a full time job. As the jobs I am looking at involves using computer. So financially to I cut myself short.
I can't do physical work as my legs and lower back has been hurting for 3 years.
:(
When I feel pain thinking of what I missed, what could have happened, what I am going through and what I went through, I continue to use smartphone and switch on loud music. This is why my eyes and ears are getting worse.
I want to commit suicide.