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Original poster

To want to run away from my life

29 replies

NoliviaMeTangere · 31/12/2018 19:49

Teenage DC hate me because I left their father (who abused them, but they were too young to remember it). They are all out now.

DP won't acknowledge my existence to his family and friends, although we have been together 3 years, and is now out with said friends, enjoying himself while I am doing stuff all at home (we don't live together).

I have money worries that keep me awake on a regular basis. Also drink too much.

AIBU to run away to some quiet place, and hope that nobody finds me?

OP posts:
Houseonahill · 31/12/2018 19:53

One thing at a time. What does your relationship bring you? Because it sounds like nothing , you're 10x better on your own than with someone who makes you feel shit. Teenagers are hard, if theybdidnt hate you for that they would hate you for something else. Have you been to the GP? I know a lot of people don't want to take ADs but they really can make the world of difference. Stuff will get better OP, choose one thing to change at a time rather than focusing on everything all at once Flowers

qumquat · 31/12/2018 19:58

I feel exactly the same although very different issues. Just can't face another year. I think NYE is the worst time as it forces you to look to the future and I don't like what I see. Flowers

springchicken123 · 31/12/2018 19:58

I agree with PP - one thing at a time Thanks it'a a new year, there's hope x

abbsisspartacus · 31/12/2018 19:59

Leg it I will join you life sucks right now

Original poster
NoliviaMeTangere · 31/12/2018 20:14

Thank you. Yes, I probably need to take things individually, as I can't see the wood for the proverbial trees. Everything just looks horrendous, and I can't face another year.

I am really sorry that others feel the same way, even if for different reasons. Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
NoliviaMeTangere · 31/12/2018 20:15

House, I did go the GP, and was prescribed ADs (weaned myself off, as I thought I needed to tackle the causes, rather than they symptoms). However, I'm still in the mire. Sad

OP posts:
Houseonahill · 31/12/2018 20:18

I've been there and done that so I do not what you mean but unfortunately you can't tackle the causes until you are in a stable mental place to do so, ADs aren't a quick fix they are just one tool on the road to getting better, they don't mask things they just let you see clearly so you can start to make the changes you need to not need them.

ParkheadParadise · 31/12/2018 20:22

I've been there NoliviaMeTangere
My life was unbearable. I was convinced I would never be happy again.
Slowly I have rebuilt my life.
Take Care.

RayRayBidet · 31/12/2018 20:22

OP, you need to stay on them while you tackle the problems. That's how they can help. They give you the clarity to sort stuff out. At least that is how it worked for me.

ihatesonic · 31/12/2018 20:23

I will also join you in running.

Flowers for you OP. life is shit though

Original poster
NoliviaMeTangere · 31/12/2018 20:24

Thank you all for your kindness. I was expecting to be flamed for self-indulgent shit. So I am all the more grateful...

OP posts:
qumquat · 31/12/2018 20:31

I'm happy to have found your thread as it's made me feel less alone (I'm with DP tonight in reality but feel very alone). I am trying to work one minute at a time at the moment. I hope you can find something comforting to do tonight.

Begrateful · 31/12/2018 21:05

Sorry you're feeling this way OP. Life is tough, don't let it overwhelm you. ⚘

AcrossthePond55 · 31/12/2018 21:08

DP won't acknowledge my existence to his family and friends, although we have been together 3 years

Dump him. Seriously, dump his sorry ass! That's one problem you can solve.

You drink too much. Seek help. Go to AA or another support group. That's another problem you can solve.

And stopping drinking will save you money. Maybe not enough to solve your problems, but every little bit helps.

None of the above are easy actions, but they can be done!

Your teens, well that's harder, all you can do is have patience and not allow them to verbally abuse you.

I can understand wanting to run away from life. But it's much more satisfying to grab it by the balls and kick it in the ass until it learns to behave!

Gina2012 · 31/12/2018 21:21
  1. Dump DP. Start 2019 with new beginnings - all for you
  1. Do Dry January with me Thanks
  1. I don't know how much you've explained to the DC about the reality of the past or how much you want to explain to them - see a Counsellor to talk it through???
  1. Go to CAB to get help sorting out your debts - dry January will help a little with this Grin
ashtrayheart · 31/12/2018 21:24

My life has a lot of shit things about it and I also drank too much. The one thing you can control (I know it’s hard but can be done with support) is stop drinking.
I found that I could then deal with things better.
Take care Flowers

Original poster
NoliviaMeTangere · 31/12/2018 21:36

Thank you. All good sense. Have spent the past hour in the foetal position, crying.

DP is the only person I've ever loved, who isn't blood relation. But yes, I know this is not good for me. I escaped from an abusive marriage (abusive to the DC, not to me - XH didn't abuse me, but just ignored my existence). Anyone would deserve better than this. But I just want to die now.

OP posts:
MNHQ
FlissMumsnet · 31/12/2018 21:44

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Original poster
NoliviaMeTangere · 31/12/2018 21:53

Fliss, I have looked at your MH boards. I have also rung the Samaritans. However, I want someone to give me a virtual hug, because there isn't anyone IRL who can give me a real one this evening. Does that make sense to you? I'm not wanting anyone to give me financial support, or any emotional support beyond anything one would expect online. I just want help over a bumpy evening.

OP posts:
RayRayBidet · 01/01/2019 06:00

OP, don't take it personally it's a standard message

qumquat · 01/01/2019 09:06

How are you this morning op? I have binged already but now going to do some yoga to try and turn my day around.

Original poster
NoliviaMeTangere · 23/01/2019 22:52

Just re-reading now. I am very grateful to those who posted on a shitty night. Tonight is not great, either, so I am appreciating re-reading some good sense. I feel awful, but thank you.

OP posts:
mickeymacca · 23/01/2019 22:54

Hey OP I'm sorry you're feeling bad tonight. I'm here if you want to talk

Original poster
NoliviaMeTangere · 23/01/2019 23:07

Thank you, Mickey. I am ok, but appreciate your kindness. Various things today stirred up upsetness, and I thought I would look on MN for a bit of a hand-hold. But it's nowhere near as bad as New Year's Eve, which was just awful.

OP posts:
mickeymacca · 23/01/2019 23:12

well I'm glad things are a bit better. I find when things are too much for me I need to take time out from everyone and get outside go for a walk. Doesn't take the problems away but helps me to try and rationalise and maybe see that things aren't so bad. I'm sure your DC don't hate you. You mentioned money worries in your first post, that must be on your mind a lot. Can you get some help with that?