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I think my mum has got dementia and I’m terrified (trigger warning)

1 reply

cousineddie · 30/12/2018 23:40

I’m really worried .

She’s 53, v long term history of mental health issues including non epileptic seizures , depression , BPD, self harm , suicide attempts , ECT and post traumatic stress.

She has also had multiple head injuries , a shadow to left temporal lobe and migraines . Also high blood pressure ... and pernicious anaemia:

For st least two or three years she has had increasing difficulty with short term memory. She often says odd things , forgets major chunks of her life then remembers later, she seems in a fog a lot - delayed response verbally . She’s poorly literate but she’s now got word finding difficulty as well . She says really bizarre things like asking if x relative is dead , if x has moved house despite seeing them yesterday , etc ... can’t follow a film or conversation well at times .

She can navigate local village and shops but I think anywhere else she’d be completely lost .

She can cook a meal with prompting , but she wouldn’t make a big meal if she didn’t have to - and she’s a fully trained chef .

She will sleep a lot , if left she’d sleep until 11am and go back to bed during the day .

She also gets muddled with tablets , they are in a dosset box but she will take them all over the place .

If you offer help she shouts ... she hurt herself last week. She’s not got much motivation to do a lot . Won’t socialise if she doesn’t have to , won’t go out much etc .

I’m 27, Dsis is disabled as well but hers is autism and she’s cared for through local authority/third sector and she’s very happy/safe.

Mum has to get a CT scan in two weeks and see a psychiatrist . Apparently GP and neurology aren’t too worried at all and said probably just mum .

I am - I’m terrified . I have an anxiety disorder anyway but I’m not sleeping , not eating , not dressing , I don’t go out - I’m self medicating with cocodamol and I’m a mess . I’m a useless daughter and have been actively considering suicide for a long time , I always said if anything happened to my mum I’d take my own life but now that seems to be something I’d have to follow through and I’m worried about it all .

I took a ‘safe’ overdose in February last year I didn’t want to die then , just sleep - didn’t do anything . Part of me thinks I should be telling my GP but I’m too scared to , they don’t listen much at all and I don’t want to make things worse .

I haven’t told anyone in real life how I feel . Relatives now but they’re very unconcerned indeed and if I’m at home I’m sort of left to it especially as it’s christmas and they’re all having fun . Cant remember the last time I laughed properly without lingering dread in thmy back of my mind , I don’t know what I should do anymore . I used to work for a neuro ward and keep remembering so many patients with similar stories , then we’d discover a GBM or something (brain cancer) . Don’t know how to calm my mind down .

JoanneMumsnet · 31/12/2018 14:54

Hi cousineddie,

We're really sorry to hear you're going through such a worrying time.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - please take a look as there are lots of organisations listed which could give you some more support in real life. One such organisation is Anxiety UK - it has its own forum and helpline, please do check out the link.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We're going to move your thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Sending good wishes Flowers

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