I don't want to be here. I am obliged to be because I suppose the children need me to be. I'm a shit parent at he moment, but they'd probably miss me.
My boyfriend died at the end of November. He held me together every time I felt like crap. Had done every time I've felt bad as long as I've known him, from long before we were together.
I'm scared of asking for help. Last time ended with several social services referrals and no help. He stuck me back together and I was ok. So there is no help. I don't know what to do. I can't say anything to anyone incase it gets back to my ex husband. I don't know what I expect from this either. I am so tired. I don't want to do this. I don't want to and I don't know how to. Only that I have to, for a while at least. But I don't know how.