Overdose

[recoveryishard]

So after I ruined Xmas day by being miserable and upset because a guy who I was dating just dropped me like a hot potato (apparently a one night stand isn't approved of?!). I drank myself stupid, and then this morning took and overdose of Quetiepine. Mum called an ambulance and am waiting to be discharged. They also said the have to call SS because the children were in the house (downstairs, I was upstairs) and I'm terrified! I had them involved last year before my bipolar diagnosis and they just bulldozed through my life making everything worse. They'll also tell me ex, again not a helpful thing. I feel so stupid, I wasn't trying to kill myself, just numb the pain and sleep. Now I've wrecked everything, again 😢

Oh no are you ok? I took a few OD's in the summer (mirtazapine) summer just gone and ended up in hospital a couple of times. This was also before my bipolar diagnoses. I didn't want to die either, it was more of a self harm kind of thing. SS were aware, but not involved if that makes sense?

Will they be coming round to your house? Have you got a crisis team number you can call, or a cpn?

I don't have any help to offer but I'm so sorry, OP. You poor thing.

Well SS know about my breakdown in the summer and didn't come out but they may do this time. Maybe I need more help and support because my parents are exhausted, my dad is having his own breakdown so I feel even more guilty! Sometimes they just don't have a clue what it's like to be me. They keeps saying pull yourself together and this can't carry on and that I'm selfish etc I probably am but I'm trying my best.

That guy I met really did a number on me, I dont understand why it's upset me so much after one afternoon together! Maybe because we both thought it was meant to be and he didn't want to go and just kept looking at me with there adoring eyes! Obviously I've been single too long and have forgotten how to date. I give up, cats it is 🐱 x

Yes I have a CPN and crisis team number x

SS will be concerned if the kids were in the house at the time because that has the potential to be emotional harm (without meaning to be) which will be the concern. However, your mum was there.
TBH though I think you need that level of support, you've struggled with the kids for a while, you've been very low for a while.
This is the intervention you need, you need respite, proper mental health support and perhaps a spell in hospital. x

And stay away from the menz……..for now x

I've asked to go to hospital several times and they say I don't meet the criteria?

I expect SS will call and then may visit if deemed necessary. I feel awful the kids saw me go off on an ambulance. I really need to stop this self destructing Behavior and get better but I'm just not sure what else to do. I run, eat, sleep, take my meds on time, and have lots of support from family. I don't know what else is out there to help me?!

I was exactly the same as you. Apart from the the guy problem. He sounds like a knob. Probably a good thing he fucked off!

I almost got sectioned twice, but they decided it was probably best I had the crisis team round because I have a two year old and also had plenty support.

Hang in there. I know you don't see it now, but you can get better I'm miles from where I was a few months ago, which proves things can change x

I'd give the crisis team a call.

Yes I'm going to call them tomorrow and Impact (a place to help stop drinking!). I think I'd better tell my ex before SS do, that'll be a fun conversation!

That's good. Hope you get better soon x

It's a shame you can't get hospital care. Do you have any other mental health care available?

How old are your DC?

I know it can't be easy, for you, but who is there for your DC? If your parents are exhausted, is that because they're already doing a lot of caring for your DC?

DC are 7 and 3, my mum has actually moved in to help me because I'm not coping. It doesn't help that they keep messing with my meds and I still can't run because of an injury. My dad doesn't do any child care he works away but obviously he is signed off at the moment. I do t know what else to do, I've tried medication, books, podcasts, exercise etc nothing seems to lift my mood 😢

How are you getting on today recovery? Have you managed to ring the crisis team yet?

I'm ok, very tired still and now have a cold. Now worrying about social services visit and having to tell my ex. I don't know what the. Risks team could do today apart from come out and see me but I have to go to my dads today for our Christmas Day there. I don't want to go out, I'm really hurt about this guy, ( which I know is ridiculous as we've only just met!). I'm crying all the time and trying to hide the cuts on my arms from my daughter. I do t see how I can ever get better if I have to look after two young children and all the other stress of life. They keep messing with my meds which isn't helping and I'm desperate and exasperated with the whole situation. No one understands how I feel, my parents are just angry and my mum doesn't even believe my Bipolar diagnosis!! Even after 2 psychiatrist have diagnosed me. That really hurts, they think I'm just an alcoholic, depressed person with borderline personality disorder (apparently my disorder told her counsellor about me and she diagnosed me without meeting me?!). Fed up isn't the word.

Must admit OP your latest issues with the guy sound very bpd, much more so than bipolar: if you are medicated then its possible you have a second disorder which needs different treatment. Do you have bpd as well? X

Never been diagnosed with BPD, just bipolar 2, maybe I have both I don't know. I've ruined Christmas, my daughter is very concerned, obviously. I'm so scared I will now loose my children and tbh maybe they would be better off without me. They have no where else to go tho, their dad won't have them so it's just me and my mum.

I think you can have both op what were your symptoms which made them think you had bipolar 2? Just what you've wrote here or more to it?

Mine was brought on by taking anti depressants on their own. (Although I did have quite big manic episode when I moved away from home and went to uni. That was pretty bad)

The mirtazapine made me awful, and sertraline made me go completely the other way, really hyper. But I'm now taking an anti psychotic alongside at night, which calms me down a bit.

I was convinced I had BPD at one point, but it turns out it's just adjustment disorder as well as anxiety and bipolar.

How much Quetiapine did you take? I’m sorry you have SS involvement it took me 5 serious attempts before I was hospitilised. On discharge I’ve taken several ODs of Venlafaxine and Quetiapine and treated as an outpatient. Sorry MH issues suck

Maybe I have both- I took about 450mg, I know you can take up to 600mg so I was just trying to sleep and forget the pain for a while. I've had lots of manic episodes. Last one was bad in June, then a breakdown in the summer and I just haven't recovered. I'm just terrified as they were involved last year when I had a massive manic episode before I was diagnosed. I'm hoping as my mum was looking after the children and I'm already engaging with mental health services they may not do much more than a visit. I realise it was a very stupid thing to do and I regret it terribly. Now I have to live with the consequences and feel SS will just add more stress and upset in my already fragile state.

I'm starting to feel myself go a bit hyper again. I blame all the caffeine I've had today. Do you find you're sensative to caffiene and it can make you quite hyper if you're not careful?

I had a really bad one when I was at uni too. Raked up about 7k in debt, no idea what I spent it on. Probably alcohol and clothes. Slept with anyone, lost friends. It was ridiculous. Then came the crash and that's when I went to the gp who prescribe citalopram 🙄 of all things, which sent me manic again. This has been going on for years before I was properly medicated. I think I've probably had about 4 or 5 hypomanic episodes overr the course of 10 years, 2 being medication induced. And maybe 1 psychotic episode when my mum died. Depression, I've lost count. Loads.

Citalopram did the same to me, I've just been pumped full of antidepressants since I was 17 which is probably why cause the mania. I waiting to hear from the crisis team so at least I can say to ss that I am reaching out for help!

Can i just aay guys Ive reported the posts with doses on because I think they're a bit triggering to people perhaps wanting to hurt themselves and might encourage them to take more than they would have.