Overdose

[recoveryishard]

So after I ruined Xmas day by being miserable and upset because a guy who I was dating just dropped me like a hot potato (apparently a one night stand isn't approved of?!). I drank myself stupid, and then this morning took and overdose of Quetiepine. Mum called an ambulance and am waiting to be discharged. They also said the have to call SS because the children were in the house (downstairs, I was upstairs) and I'm terrified! I had them involved last year before my bipolar diagnosis and they just bulldozed through my life making everything worse. They'll also tell me ex, again not a helpful thing. I feel so stupid, I wasn't trying to kill myself, just numb the pain and sleep. Now I've wrecked everything, again 😢

Mental health nurse has been and was very supportive. Doesn't think SS will do much as I am already getting support, they may do a CAF at my daughters school but that would be something I would want as I have been trying to get her help for a while. So feeling a little better and I spoke to my exh who was surprisingly supportive?! Here's hoping I can get the help I need and start to recover, goodbye 2018 hello new fresh year, you'd better be nicer to me!

Good luck. Not feeling great myself, worst time of year imo x

I'm glad your mind's been put a little at ease. That's the attitude! and I repeat, he sounds like a knob. I wouldn't let him take anymore head space.

Them just to clarify, I don't mean your ex!

I'm sorry 70's Christmas really does suck and feel really sorry for my children. My daughter is clearly upset from what happened but I just can't bring myself to be happy around them, I'm trying but it's so hard. My mum is constantly here, i know it's to help me but I feel suffocated and judged 😁

Feeling so low, kids are at their dads, I c at leave the house. So worried about everything and everyone. When will this get better, I've never had such a long depressive period after a manic episode and I'm feeling VERY stupid for what I did Boxing Day. Also full of anxiety about SS even thought I've been assured it won't be that bad. I had a bad experience with them last year so I'm scared, lonely and so so tired. Why won't this depression lift?

I think it just takes time. Is there anything you like doing to distract yourself? Do you like listening to music? Or a hobby?

I know how you feel. I had a very long depressive episode that lasted from October until the end of August. I thought it was SAD, then I realised it wasn't lifting in the summer, it was only getting worse. An anti depressant was the only thing that helped. Took a few tries, and different ones though.

Do you take any anti depressants? I know with bipolar you have to be careful, but can you ask for a low dose from your gp along with your quietapine? It might take the edge off?

Sorry end of July, not August.

I take antidepressants, two mood stabilisers and diazepam daily. I have just signed up for the 100 day sober challenge and publicly announced it on Instagram so I am held accountable. I am so hungover today, and anxious and thinking about the pills in the cupboard but I'm just trying to push through, watch some crap tv and am making my own self help book. I wish I could just snap out of this and I'm getting really pissed odd that nothing is changing! Meds still not correct, doses and types being changed, I feel like a guinie pig! At least I made it home last night, even if I did sleep naked (??) on the sofa!

Oh well, at least you got home I have once again, spent about a tenner on iTunes. Some of which I don't even remember buying, but I like them. I don't really watch tv. Just have wireless headphones and listen to music all day.

I can imagine. It's not something you can really snap out of though, I think it takes time.

I was offered diazepam as a quick fix if I felt like I was losing control, but I felt like I take enough drugs!

The only thing that seems to be working for me is the sertraline.

I feel like I'm getting close to being put in hospital. I really hope not, I'm just very hyper at the moment. I was almost in hopistal because of my depression, which was pretty bad, but now I've gone the other way and I feel like I'm starting to lose control. I have another appointment with my psychiatrist in a couple of weeks, I'm hoping I've calmed down by then, although the gp was looking at me funny the other day. Could just be my paranoia.

Bippity- can you go to a&e and tell them you feel manic? I know there is something that they can give you instead of diazepam. I spend ridiculous amounts of money when manic, thankfully that hasn't happened for months. I'm not sure what's worse, being manic or depressed. Probably being depressed because at least when I'm manic I'm happy?!

I don't know. I think theyre both just as bad, but in different ways. I embarrass myself when I'm high, talk too much, give away too much about myself, spend all my money. Then comes the paranoia thinking people are talking about me. Or I think someone is standing behind me watching me. I heard a whistle the other day in the house on my own, scared the living day lights out of me. Heart feels like it's racing and I have continuous butterflies in my stomach.

When I'm depressed, I sleep too much and just gernally don't want to be on this planet anymore.

What can they give you? Will I be taken seriously?! I don't want to be wasting anyone's time, plus I have no idea how I will get there.

Have you gone when you were feeling manic?

I could just take my aripiprazole, but that will just konk me out and I need to get to the shops.

I can't remember what they give you, it's like Diazepam but stronger. I haven't done it myself as I have a constant supply of Diazepam but have been told if I am bad to go to a&e, it's better than getting hurt and embarrassing yourself. My depression has been going on for months and I'm either sleeping or drinking or yelling at the kids or arguing with my mum. I'm just so fed up and tired. Getting another med change soon! Terrified of that and how it will affect me. Two more to try until they put me on Lithium!

Lorazepam. They also use it to sedate.

Yeah I tried that but it didn't work, Diazepam works better for me x