When I’m ill, and I know I’m ill I just keep on keeping on. I tell myself it’ll pass, as it normally does, eventually, but if things go horribly wrong, as they have done occasionally, I get it in the neck for not asking for help. The problem is that whenever I do ask for help I don’t get any. I can ring the AMHT in a desperate state and I won’t get so much as a phone call back for a week or more, even after chasing. I’ve got to the point now where I just don’t bother and force myself through whatever problem it is.
I’ve had god knows how many care coordinators in the last 7 months. I asked to change from the one I had long term because she was a gaslighting nightmare. She’d Be fine when I was was fine, but as soon as things went south she’d turn into a lecturing teacher and tell me it was all my own fault. Since then I’ve had a string of agency workers who disappear within a month, or in the last case, I saw her once and she’d gone again. It’ no wonder I’ve given up. I haven’t had any contact from the team for months now. I haven’t seen my psych for a year, despite nearly managing to off myself last summer. I’m just hoping my current period of stability, ish, lasts for a long time. I’ve got an awful year ahead of me though so we’ll see.
Is it normal to have such crap treatment from the MH team? I know things are stretched to breaking point but no contact seems wrong. The care coordinator I asked to swap from used to tell me off for saying I understood they were stretched. She’d say it wasn’t true, not realising that the only other explanation for her shittiness was her own incompitance. She was supposed to refer me to therapy two years ago but she forgot. The email got lost apparently, although when she searched her sent box she couldn’t find it. You can make up your own mind.
I bloody fed up tbh. I need help > I ask for help > I get no help > I give up asking > something goes wrong > I get SS on my doorstep and I get it in the neck for not asking. I get promised all sorts of support from MH and SS but nothing ever happens. DS said to me yesterday that he feels abandoned. His dad is a alcoholic and he’s been promised support for this and that, but even his SW hasn’t seen him for two months and it’s me who has to pick up the pieces. I really struggle to cope myself sometimes and I’m left to deal with the disappointment they cause DS as well. The whole thing is a piss take.