I never thought I’d post here

[LonelyLola99]

Hi,

I’m really struggling to keep going and everything is getting really on top of me again. I’m desperate for help but no one seems to have anything to offer. I’m studying a degree and trying to keep going but my quality of life is starting to suffer.

Not sure why I’m posting really.. I guess I’ve just exhausted all my options and need a hand hold for a minute.

I am so sorry that you are feeling like this. There is help out there if you are willing to ask for it. Have you spoken to anyone IRL?

Can you speak to a tutor and explain that you are struggling with your degree, I am sure there a provisions in place to help.

Please please please speak to your GP, they are there to help. If the first GP you see doesn't offer the support then ask to see someone else. You matter, your mental health matters and you deserve all the help and support you need.

Please feel free to message me if you would like to chat.

I'd advise making an appointment for counselling with the University counselling services.

I have been to GP a couple of times. Went back on medication but had horrible side effects that made me more unhappy with myself. GP has said there’s not anything else they can do if I don want to take the medication.

I have applied for th university counselling but am still waiting for an appointment almost a month later. I imagine with the time of year the waiting time will be longer so maybe upto 6 weeks.

I have spoken to DM a few weeks ago about some of the things I am struggling with but she commented how she’s also having a stressful time too. So I left it there and haven’t mentioned to anyone else. I did speak to my personal tutor to say that I was having a bit of a hard time and they said to keep them informed but I am worried if I share too much I will be deemed unfit to continue the course and have to postpone it.

I am just about keeping my head above water but I’m feeling drained and a bit hopeless. The thought of feeling like this for th rest of my life is honestly terrifying me.

Well done for speaking to your tutor 🙂 I wouldn't worry about keeping him updated. Keep communicating.
How about trying the meds again, have some time off uni to allow yourself to adjust to them? Also speak to the gp/uni about getting counselling urgently.
Look after yourself

I meant, keep on updating him! Damn phone

sorry you are feeling this way

is it the actual uni work that's too much or is it other things?

I would go back to the GP and ask for a different medication as the side effects were too much. I know that the tablets can take around 6-8 weeks to have a real effect, so unfortunately you have to put up with it for a bit longer but in the long term they should help.

Holding your hand Lola

If we had a magic wand to fix everything and make you feel better, what would you start with?

First up, I’d second going back to the gp and talking through the different sorts of medication available. Of course you’ve been put off because the ones you tried made you feel bad but that doesn’t mean that another type won’t work. But also push your gp on counselling. Mental health services are woefully underfunded but there will be something - ask your gp outright what s/he can refer you for. And chase up the university counselling people. Tell them you are not coping and ask for help.
It’s hard to do, I know, when all you really want is to hide in a corner, but there is help out there - unfortunately you may have to be a bit persistent to get it. It shouldn’t be like this, but it is. Keep reminding yourself that you are ill and have a right to treatment just as much as someone with a physical illness, and this must be your priority for now.

Thankyou for th replies. I appreciate someone just telling me what to do because I’m lacking motivation to do it.

Taking time off university isn’t an option - I graduate this academic year and it seems silly to put off finishing another year. The work itself isn’t unmanagemeable. I am just about keeping on top of it all and feel organised enough to do ok.

Over the years I have tried just about every medication going and the one I was on recently is the one that worked best in the past. However this time it was making me more drowsy than I remember being previously which meant I was struggling to focus in the mornings. It also felt like I had a disgustingly enormous appetite which meant I was overeating and really made me feel worse.

I have just been back in touch with the mental health team at uni after your advice and have an appointment for later this week. I am very nervous.

I’m sorry this seems like I am rambling. On the outside I feel like I come across as quiet but doing ok - I attend everything at university, I volunteer, I go to the gym. But inside I feel drained and emotionless. I don’t want people to worry too much.

Honestly just having people tell me what I should be doing is really helping. I have been speaking to Samaritans most weeks just to have someone to talk to so this has really helped too.

Grace - it is other stuff going on in my life. The work itself is fine, though I don’t enjoy being at uni.

well if you want to talk about the other stuff, you're welcome, but I realise you may not

I didn't suit uni at all. I had raging anxiety in my final year as well. It wasn't the exams, I think it was just too long in an environment that wasn't a good fit for me. Once I left and got a job I was actually much better. I do have anxiety generally which flares up but one of the worst times for it was end of uni.

I ended up having to spend a lot of spare time walking, just walking anywhere, to get out in fresh air and burn off nervous energy. I took meds but didn't have too many issues with them.

Well done for getting an appointment with the uni counselling people. You say ‘don’t worry too much’ - I wonder if you tend to minimise your feelings a bit when you are talking to drs etc? They need to know how you are when it’s really bad and it can be difficult to do that off the cuff in an appointment. Could you write something down ahead of time?
The other stuff going on in your life. You don’t have to talk about it here but I think you probably need to talk to someone about it. It’s great that you’re on top of your work but whatever the problem is it sounds like it’s making you very unhappy.

I think you’re probably right. I just feel rushed and when I start to talk to my GP about it she just smiles and doesn’t seem like she’s taking it serious so I just minimise it and deal with it myself.

I’m in my mid twenties and the thought of never being happy for a prolonged period of time really scares me.

Maybe you should try a different gp? If you don’t think you can get through to this one. I would try not to worry about never being happy - you’ve said you don’t like university much, so things may well get easier once you’ve graduated anyway. But in the meantime, push to get help, don’t just deal with it on your own.

Thinking of you Lola 💐

The final year of a degree can be so stressful. Mine was a very long time ago but I think it was one of the most stressful times of my life.

Even if you aren't going to take time away from uni it's important your tutors know you are suffering as it may help you further down the line if you struggle with any coursework or exams as it counts as mitigating circumstances. They might also help you in other ways.

I hope you get the help you need through a doctor or counselling.

Hand hold here.

I did six years at Uni and the final year was mentally exhausting. So many times I just wanted to walk away from it all. But don't give up when you've come so far.

The Uni counselling is great idea as is maybe seeing another GP.

At Uni I wasn't struggling with mental health as such, that was 10 years ago, but now I am struggling for very different reasons.

Mine is because of a ex partner with mental health issues, who refused to see a professional and he basically demanded I became his psychiatrist. It has left what was once a very mentally stable person a broken one and when I couldn't 'help' him anymore he fucked off and just left a mess behind.

However, I have found with friends, not taking it easy, getting my mind focused on other things I'm slowly becoming my old self again.

I do understand though how difficult it sometimes feels to juggle everything. But you can do this!

Thankyou again for the replies and your own experiences.

In regards to why, there are a lot of family issues and things about my life I have regrets about. I’ve isolated myself so very lonely. Though on a more positive note I had an invite for lunch with a friend which I will go to.

@LonelyLola99 you should absolutely go for lunch. It makes the world of difference

Loneliness sucks. Lots of it about. But at least it’s something that can change, and change quite quickly when your head’s in the right place. You’re doing the right things - have faith in yourself.

I am trying to help myself I just feel sick and like I can’t breather properly whenever I leave my house..room...

You really need support. You don't need to do this alone. Once we're in this state it's very difficult to pull out of it alone as things can spiral. Where are you at currently in terms of being able to speak to uni counselling? Have you had your appointment yet? Could you open up to your tutor or anyone else for additional support?

I have managed to get an appointment tomorrow with mental health support services at university. I think once they realised I have funding for this support from DSA they got back in touch quicker

Hi Lola
Just wanted to share my experience. I accessed a university mentor through DSA in my final year and she was amazing at helping me focus on my dissertation. So skilled and subtle. I hope you have a good outcome tomorrow, just keep going you are nearly there. The mentor helped me at uni, can you meanwhile get on a waiting list for some talking therapy through your gp?