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And so we're back again

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Lunacity · 19/11/2018 19:43

4 years I have lasted this time. 4 years believing and hoping that I would never feel like this again. 4 years of delusion.

I'm trapped in a marriage I don't want, in love with someone I can't have, friendless, fat, and in a job I fear rather than enjoy. Every day is a struggle to even get up and yet I do, because I've always been a good girl. My head is so messed up and I have lost the one person I care about over it all. And now I am back with my head over the toilet, hoping for the temporary relief physical sickness brings over the pain I feel.

I used to be so good at everything and now I am a complete failure at life again. Every day I wish it was finally over and yet I know, once again, I will be disappointed. Even death does not want me and has rejected me so many times.

LilyMumsnet · 20/11/2018 18:29

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

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