Is this the reality of life with kids? Should I face facts and settle for it? Because I just cant face being like this forever.

[mustrunmore]

Sorry... rant alert. I dont usually vent everything to the world, but things are coming to a head. Neither do I expect any workable answers!

But is life really this crappy? I have alot to be grateful for , I know. A great dh, 2 lovely healthy kids, a house of our own.
But.
I just cant shift the weight. I'm 2 stone 4lbs over.ds2 is 16 months, so no excuse there. I'm runnnig and eating fine, but its not working. I really dont have time to fit anymore in. I hate going outside, as I have virtually no clothes that fit (and I'm not wasting more money on bigger sizes; I have some and that will do). No one is ever going to look at me in a pub again.
The most sleep I've had in one go for 4 years is 5 hours, once or twice. I'm knackered.
Dh and me just dont have anything to talk about anymore; he'll tell other people lots of stuff, but then say he has no conversation for me. He's trying to be really positive re my training, but I know my weight is bothering him.
Why does everyone else have more time in the evenings? After doing essentials and the boys are asleep, I've got about 1.5hrs to do a run/bath/see dh before bedtime!
Why does everyone else seem to have more money? I dont want to be rich,just have a few bits and bobs.And not be overdrawn every month.
And everyone else has a babysitter close to them.
And why are my kids so messy that I have to hoover twice a day and it still looks filthy?
And why couldnt the local nursery offer ds1 a place instead of it taking us 1/2 hr to get there on the bus/walk?
Why is ds1 headbutting everyone these days?

Am I just selfish? is everone else happy being fatter and more boring, and content to talk about gardening and never have excitement or feelings?

ah thast sounds shit

you are RUNIN???
you are HOOVERING???

wlel i htink you soaun dprertty togehter already

re money

• you will always feel like htat tbh but a lto of folkare orkew ith tiny babies

re babysitter - easliy sorted - make up a babysitting circle ?

local n nursery - keep at em for a place

re fatness we can helpo there and wiht clothees too

you need to sort the wight out and a lot of things will feel better imo
( cue everyone to come on and say i shoudl accept oyu for what you are) BUT if YOU feel crap then lets do it baby!!;)

I was overweight and hated it but have lost loads - eating earlier in the evening is what did it for me. Agree with cod (no am not following you around) if you sort that out alot of things will feel better.

My house is a wreck btw, I don't have babysitters and we are skint skint skint

Lack of sleep alone is enouigh to make you feel like shit.
I too have no evening time unless I stay up late for it.
I'm not overweight but have excess tummy so look naff.
Oh, and we're seriously skint.
But it won't always be like this - children grow up too fast, but as they get older you will have more time and money.
How old is your ds1?

Hi,

I feel for you. I put on 5 stone when pregnant, and was miserable, dh even said quote 'you have let yourself and need to sort it out' nice!!! and after 2 years of hard work have lost it. There are a few schools of thought re weight loss the most sensible being eat a bit less/heathily and exercise or Eat the same and exercise like a nutter to burn it all off or just eat a lot less and be lazy!!! I lost it through Weight Watchers on line which really suited me. As for the money just join for a few months and once you have the hang of it you can cancel it and continue on your own. Or go to GP,my friend could not loose weight but found out she had a food allergy and now thats sorted she has lost loads.

If your floor still looks messy after you hoover twice a day don't bother. I hoover when it looks bad, usually every other day!!! How lazy am I!!!

Hang in there and good luck. I spent yesterday shouting at everyone and feeling like s* but woke up this morning (following another broken nights sort of sleep)realising it was probably down to PMT I felt rubbish!!! feel quite bad for being so shouty yesterday, will be apologising to all concerned later!!!

We have no money either,its crap.

I think if you're feeling down about yourself because of the weight, everything will seem worse than it is. Probably a completely impractical suggestion, but can't you spend more time during the day out walking, taking the LO's with you (not sure of their ages, so maybe this is easier said than done). I just know if I'm out all day, going for walks, going to the park etc (not necessarily spending money btw), the house needs less tidying as we're not in to make it messy. Running sounds pretty hard going TBH, you're probably running about after your 2 Lo's all day anyway.
Don't think you necessarily have to be more boring, but you do have different expectations I think. Can you not get the odd night off to spend time as a couple?

Lazy becuase you hoover every other day????

I hoover about once a week!

Right enough, I sweep under the table every day because of the crumbs falling etc, but to hoover twice a day is just making work for yourself!

Get the weight under control & that will be the first step you make

Join sw (you can eat far more than you can on ww) & set the ball rolling

Lack of sleep can hinder weight loss so maybe you need to tackle that if possible
link

one way of re-boosting weight loss if you've 'plateau'ed is to swap your meals round; eat dinner for brekkie, lunch for tea etc - oh and don't eat bits of leftover kids meals..... that's a killer!
I've finally started to lose a bit, by walking for 30 mins in the morning before eating my breakfast, although any exercise which speeds up heart rate is good. My bro's a fitmess instructor and he told me that gem..

I hoover every two weeks...I brush up any obvious crumbs etc. I have from 8pm till about 9:30 pm post bedtime routine, by which time I go to sleep. I make sure I take a bath while dh is still at home in the mornings, get dressed, only then do I sort out breakfast.

have your thyroid checked, if you are really exercising and your not moving weight it could be that.

I only hoover every two months. Anyone want to bid higher?

Seriously though, you do sound very together to me. If you need/want to lose weight, are you following a programme like WW or just eating healthily? You need to eat fewer calries than you use, so just running might not be enough.

My DH and I take it in turns to take complete responsibility for DS for the night at the weekend, so DH has him on Friday night and I do Saturday. The other sleeps in the spare room that night and it keeps me sane (just).

No other advice, just admiration

Hang on, I have just realised your ds is 16 monthd and you have never had a whole nights sleep

This is the first thing you need to tackle!!! The weight issue will follow!

Agreed, sleep makes the world a whole better place but ds is 20 months and I still have not had a nights sleep!!!

I find though if I am stressed and/or worried I find it harder to get off to sleep and eat more. Its a vicious circle. I did manage to get 30 mins nap when ds napped so thinked that helped a bit.

I know the feeling but there are some definite issues you can address right now.

Cleaning - hoover once a week unless you have a seriously furry pet in malting season. Even better, get DH to do it (mine does, and the washing up and his own ironing - oh, and he hangs the washing out too )

Sleep - 5 hours? no wonder you feel like crap - people with long term sleep deprivation feel achy, confused, depressed, crave sugar.... the list goes on and on.

What time do the kids go to bed, are they waking in the night? They're definitely old enough to be sleeping through and have a good routine by now - let us know your starting point and we can help you sort something workable out

You may think you are "eating fine", but I suggest you keep an online food diary (as long as you enter the quantity of food you are eating and correct description it will work out whether you are eating the appropriate amount to loose weight).

Try this one www.weightlossresources.co.uk

They have a 3 day no obligation free trial. I use them and I'm dying for someone else to use them so that we can bore on about it together

weightlossresources.co.uk

I think lack of sleep is bad for weight loss too. I only began losing babyweight when ds began sleeping through. Agree with fireflyfairy that you need to sort that out first. You really need some kind of sleep programme for the baby.

I am FT working Mum but if you have the skills to work part time - maybe that could help you out?. It could give you a break from the kids, get you meeting new people, bring in some extra money and once in some nice new work clothes - an incentive to loose some weight. Sorry if not good suggestion, just a thought.

Thanks all
Re the running/weight loss; I know how it can be done in principle,as I did it prekids (less weight loss, but better fitness than I'm even aiming for this time, as I have to be realistic) but its just not happening now. I just cant even be bothered to go through everything I've tried (did another thread on it ages ago).I do keep a food diary too.
Re the sleep, its been about 4 yrs. Well, ds1 is 3.5 and I stopped sleeping when I was pg with him, for pg reasons. But I also got a seriuosly bad addiction to water with that pg, which has declined but it still present, so I drink alot during the night. This, combined with a post pg bladder, means I get up for a wee at least twice a night. So even when dh does the nights with the boys (ds1 sleeps well on the whole, and ds2 only a prob when a tooth arrives), I'm still up. But our day starts between 5 and 5.20 (ds2 wakes, then dh gets up for work), so its a long one! Maybe I'm just feeble now...

Foxey, I'd love to work pt, but the only time I can guarantee dh at home for the kids consistently is midnight to 5am, due to his shifts. That wouldnt help with the sleep! Unless i can find one that happens to require opposite shifts to him, on a fortnightly basis. He does one in four weekends too, so even a weekend job isnt really an option. I agree it'd be good to get back into the real world though.

Must Run more ..have you tested for diabetes??

yes - excessive thirst can be a symptom of diabetes I think - so definitely worth testing for, as well as thyroid
agree the sleep is the thing that needs to be sorted, then the weight as that seems to really be bothering you

the other stuff may well not seem so bad and sortable if you sort out the main things.

agree on a thyroid test - could you have a weekend when you just sleep & rest?

lots of sympathy mustrunmore. a small thing to add to what every one else is saying - there was an article in the Observer today about some new research on interval training - showing it to be mouch more effective then straight running - for fitness, stamina and (yep!) weight loss. they reckon run hard so that you're out of breath, then slow but not until totally recovered - maybe 3 mins fast, 2 mins slow. I know it's not a panacea but worth trying - without thinking you need to do more, iyswim. they recommended it once a week and not on consecutive days.

Get thyroid and insulin checked out. Assuming they're OK try Chromium Polynicotinate, Sea Kelp, Vit B-complex, Zinc, Selenium, and possibly beta-carotene. All stocked in Holland & Barrett et al. The sleep thing will probably be at heart of problem and will be buggering up your immune system. All of the above will help here and should aid your metabolism as well. The only one of the above to be a bit careful about is the sea kelp - wait until you have your thyroid tests done first as this stuff can interfere with results and cause problems if your thyroid is overactive....