Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Feeling a bit blue today :-(

59 replies

NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 11:34

Been doing so well with my PND and really coming out of it, but last few days have been a bit :-(

Getting fed up with my weight - I need to lose 2.5st to get back to pre DS weight but I just don't have motivation. Am tired all the time (am not anaemic or have thyroid probs) and just can't be bothered to do anything for myself iyswim?

OP posts:
Oncebitten · 14/06/2007 11:51

hey Nikki, sorry to hear ur feeling low. Have been feeling a tad unmotivated myself but i had to get the car serviced yesterday and so popped into town and got my nails done... (inspired by the thread on here about how to look/feel good after children) u wud be surprised how glam, having nice nails makes u feel! Its certainly lifted my mood... Any chance of treating urself to something like that? Hair/ nails/ retail therapy?

littlelapin · 14/06/2007 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 11:56

Thanks for posting....it sounds mad and without wishing to sound like one of those people who no suggestion is good enough for, but part of me doesn't want to go to town as I'll see all these lovely outfits and feel too fat to look good....besides, I'm trying to be careful with money as I'm on extended unpaid parental leave as work have refused my flexible request so have to look for jobshare etc etc.....yuk yuk!!

OP posts:
Oncebitten · 14/06/2007 12:04

yes tis a bit of a luxury (sp)spending on oneself... needs to be done occasionally though... i actually felt better after visiting town because i realised that there are a lot of women out there in the same boat... probably feeling the same inside about their jelly belly etc... But as long as you try and do something to make urself feel better... even if it's just one single tiny thing... like a walk to the shop, it might stop u from self flagulation later... ?!? (Am speaking to myself here too )

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 15:26

Hiya

Feel a bit brighter now... have been tidying up and the spare room doesn't look as if its been used for nuclear detonation practice so thats good! I took DS up with me and he crawled around and got into all the nooks and crannies he hasn't really seen before so he was occupied and I was able to tidy, so that was good!!

Lapin - DS had an ear infection - ended up taking him to out of hours doc who was really patronising -started to explain all about viruses and temperatures as if was complete thicko!! It took me all my time to bite tongue and not say yes I do have a Biomedical Sciences degree so I already know this!!! He's got some vile florescent antibiotic and his poos are TOXIC!!!

OP posts:
littlelapin · 14/06/2007 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama · 14/06/2007 16:10

would you like to borrow goran for half an hour?

sorry you are feeling down and that DS has been poorly. xx

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:13

I lurve cleaning kitchens actually! I can remember visiting my sis and I noticed a few of her appliances needed scrubbing - she's a teacher and soooooo busy all the time, so I was happily scrubbing away and then moved onto the microwave and didn't realise its a little bit knackered and started to bubble on the top underside....I waded in with the rough side of the sponge....cue flakes everywhere....and me and much grovelling to sis!!!

I do hate grubby appliances though....

Ooh I looked at your profile - how fit are all the uniforms in the wedding pic???!!! I love an Officer......

OP posts:
Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:16

Oooh thanks Lulu

Meant to ask you something actually...I was watching that Lenny Henry comedy thing the other night...he was present at a water birth...as soon as the baby was born, it was lifted right out onto the mum's chest and I just burst right into tears and sobbed and sobbed cos I didn't get that with DS (skin to skin contact etc) as had emergency C section....I realise why I didn't get it etc but hadn't realised it affected me so much?! DH was and had to turn the TV off!!

OP posts:
lulumama · 14/06/2007 16:18

have you had any debriefing on the birth?

did you want to ask if that is a normal reaction..if so , the answer is yes

it is ok to grieve for the birth experience you didn;t have...i felt terrible after my em c.s , didn;t hold DS by myself until he was 2 days old

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:23

That's it!! I'm grieving for the birth I didn't have....was really struggling to describe how it felt....feel awful selfish though as there are some people who would love to have A child and not care about how it got here but that aside, it still really upsets me...I even feel like I want another one just to experience natural childbirth and then feel crappy as that isn't a good reason to want another baby is it! Oops...getting a bit teary here....!

OP posts:
lulumama · 14/06/2007 16:29

oh honey...it is ok to feel like this! the birth of a child is a momentous and defining moment in our lives as women, and when it is taken out of our hands, it can be incredibly traumatic

i feel your pain! i really do, i had the same feelings after DS..and was desperate to have a baby vaginally and know the feeling of pushing a baby out.

if you want to talk off board, you can email me, if it is too difficult

mail @ motheringinstincts . com

no gaps x

littlelapin · 14/06/2007 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:32

Aww you are so sweet I'm ok to talk on here because you know, if anyone else reads this and knows they aren't only one - then that's positive isn't it! Besides, I've never been a very private person have I!!

I am very very relieved to know I'm not weird in wanting another baby to feel what its like to give birth vaginally! felt so shallow for wanting another baby for that reason!!

OP posts:
Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:33
OP posts:
lulumama · 14/06/2007 16:34

that is true... i felt like a bit of a freak TBH, as everyone i knew who had had an em c.s went on to have an elective...

so i was in the dark really..but that is what spurred me on to find out about VBAC..which in turn got me into doula-ing

so in a roundabout way it was a good thing!

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:36

There is nooooooo way I want an elective if I can help it.....obviously if I go the natural route and it happens again, then so be it but I wouldn't actually choose it iyswim? I've read there is a good chance of a VBAC....so...is there anything you can do to make it more likely...? I know I'm jumping the gun here (not even TTC no 2 yet!)....

OP posts:
lulumama · 14/06/2007 16:39

can you tell me a bit more about why you had a c.s...bit of a birth story?

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:45

Labour started naturally on the Sunday....went into hospital on the Tuesday evening...contractions would be regular and strong, then subside a bit so the pattern of them ended up being all over the place...I wasn't dilating very well so the Midwife gave me an internal to try and help things along....still didn't work.....carried on having contractions until the Wednesday afternoon (had had 1 injection of morphine by then). They broke my waters to see if that would make any difference - it didn't...it just made the contractions stronger but without any noticable dilation.

They then put me on a drip to see if that would speed it up....again, contractions were very intense but not dilating. Was on gas and air at this point. By Wednesday evening I was only 5cms dilated and pain had got too much so had an epidural. When epidural kicked in, was strapped to a monitor and thats when they noticed DS showing signs of distress...they monitored it to see if it would happen again and when it did, they said to carry on would put him at risk so went for the em CS.

When it was all over, the Dr said that reason why I wasn't dilating was that a part of my womb had contracted and stayed contracted so it wasn't dilating me....apparently it is pretty common but I am worried that if it happened this time, it could happen again...I wonder what causes it???

OP posts:
lulumama · 14/06/2007 16:50

ok...well, that sounds like a first labour, with a bit of a start /stop thing

also, feeling scared, being in too much pain, feeeling out of control can all inhibit the labour process

would like to know more about this contracted part of the uterus that stopped dilation

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:51

That's all I know...I didn't really question it tbh ...they just said to DH that when they took DS out, they could see part of it contracted and they said that was the problem.....

OP posts:
lulumama · 14/06/2007 16:54

you need to find out more about that !

you can ask to go through your notes with someone

the drip can overstimulate uterus..not sure if that would stop dilation, but it can make contractions very hard and fast....and can certainly stop the uterus working in an effective natural pattern..

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 16:58

Ahhh....maybe worth contacting Midwife to see if she would answer my questions....bit I didn't think to ask before, but you just take what they say as a given don't you....

Hope it doesn't happen again though...really really want to feel what its like to give birth!

OP posts:
lulumama · 14/06/2007 16:59

speak to her ... get a full picture...

i had a fab VBAC, no intervention, just me, some pethidine,lots of gas & air, 3 1/4 hours from 3 cm to holding baby !! waters ruptured spontaneously , and ruined my shoes, and i had the full experience of arriving at hospital , huffing and puffing

Original poster
NikkiBFG · 14/06/2007 17:00

Oooh DS has woken from his nap (a record 2hrs!!!) so have to go...

Thank you sooooo much Lulu

OP posts: