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Original poster

Will I ever be a good mum?

53 replies

Haribosmum · 29/05/2007 13:33

As I am typing this I am crying. DS2 (5 months)is upstairs crying his eyes out and I just want him to go to sleep. DS1 (3yrs) has been sent to bed because I can't cope with him. I just feel like such a crap mum, like I should be able to look after my boys. DS1 has his last day in childcare on Friday because se are moving to New Zealand in 3 weeks and I honestly don't think I can cope. My doctor diagnosed me with PND 3 months ago but I stopped taking the pills last week because I just felt so tired on them. My husband doesn't understand how I feel and I just want to be a good mother. Please can someone tell me what to do? I'm not the person I used to be and just feel so guilty.

OP posts:
Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 09:09

So I tied to tell dh I had a bad day yesterday and he just 'looked' at me. Please don't s'#g his off, he is an excellent Dad and a very loving husband but I just don't think he understands. He hasn't got time to come to the doctors with me (leaves for work at 6.30 and often doesn't get home until after 6 in the evening - he's trying to make up the money we lose from me not working). Anyone got any suggestions how I can 'help him ' the understand how I am feeling????

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Sixer · 30/05/2007 09:47

oh no, i haven't a clue, i'm useless at this myself and tend to just bite and be grumpy. which i know is wrong, and is of no use whatsoever to you. so hopefully some wise mner will be along with advice. I will keep an eye out, and bump this for you.

JoTwyman · 30/05/2007 09:59

Hope you are feeling better this morning - I can't really offer any advice, but stay focused on going back to NZ! I am from Taupo, and miss my mum so much, feel bad cause she is missing out on my little girl (now 2) growing up.... Maybe try and think about all the lovely things waiting for you back in NZ when you get there (your horse, hokey pokey icecream, BBQs with mates, taking kids to beach, no crowds!)

Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 10:51

MMMMM Hokey Pokey ice-cream!!! Feel sick just thinking about it!!

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Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 10:52

Oh and JT WHY THE HELL ARE YOU OVER HERE!!!!????

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JoTwyman · 30/05/2007 11:04

mmm... do ask myself that from time to time... the answer is STUDENT LOANS! My husband (from CHCH) and I came over together 10 years ago, and we just ended up not going back! Much easier to pay off student loans with strong exchange rate, and now we are trying to save money to go back with and buy our own home as we will NEVER be able to afford anything in the UK....

JoTwyman · 30/05/2007 11:05

CHOCOLATE FISH!!

Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 11:31

STOP IT!! LOL [GRIN]

OP posts:
JoTwyman · 30/05/2007 11:36

Made you smile though right!

Tumblemum · 30/05/2007 11:42

my two are the same age gap as yours and it brings it back how hard the first few months was, now dd is one it has got easier, it will get easier and you will feel better have had depression too, hang in there take a day at a time and be kind to yourself,

Tumblemum · 30/05/2007 11:42

my two are the same age gap as yours and it brings it back how hard the first few months was, now dd is one it has got easier, it will get easier and you will feel better have had depression too, hang in there take a day at a time and be kind to yourself,

Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 12:05

OK so having a REALLY lazy day. We're still all in our pj's and ds2 has gone for his afternoon nap and ds1 is watching Blues Clues with me and should be drifting off any time. Then I think I'll have a nap to!

JT - I know how you feel. We were lucky enough to buy a cheap house when we came back so we've money for a deposit when we get back. Need to do more saving up though because we want a lifestyle block and in Auckland too! Talk about the most expensive! Hope you get back over to the land of the lond white cloud and escape to the land of the rainy cloud soon!!!

Also, how's this for a TV idea? 'Escape the country' Lol. Now nobody steal my excellent idea!!

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JoTwyman · 30/05/2007 12:49

LOVE IT! You could star in the very first episode!! Wish I was still in PJs, but am actually at work - very last day of work though - am lucky anough to be going to Perth on Friday to visit my dad - can't make it to NZ this time, but mum is coming over soon! She always brings me toffee pops. Wonder if I can get pineapple lumps in OZ? mmmm... lifestyle block in Auckland - NICE!! Not jealous at all !!!

Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 12:54

That's another one. PINEAPPLE LUMPS!!

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americantrish · 30/05/2007 13:25

what are pineapple lumps??

JoTwyman · 30/05/2007 14:16

Pineapple Lumps are yummy chewy pineapple flavoured candy covered in chocolate, invented in New Zealand - used to eat heaps of them as a kid growing up in New Zealand, usually as a special treat when going to the cinema on Saturday afternoons while mum went shopping (grew up in a pretty small town where it was OK to do that because everyone knew everyone!)

Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 15:06

Pineapple lumps are yummy. Sounds disgusting but really yummy. Took me 6 months to pluck up the courage to try them and never looked back!

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americantrish · 30/05/2007 15:45

i want!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 16:32

LOL Trish. I think JT wants too. And soon I will be able to have!

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americantrish · 30/05/2007 17:15

have some for me!!!!

Original poster
Haribosmum · 30/05/2007 18:29

I think I will try a bit of everything for everyone on MN! Why not? I already do now!

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JoTwyman · 30/05/2007 20:01

Good plan! Just got DD into bed, bit late tonight, but now I can put my feet up and crack open the choccies.... ARRRGGGHHHHH! Phones ringing...

JoTwyman · 30/05/2007 20:20

Right off the phone now - what I was going to say is that I hope today has been a good day for you! I always think at the end of a rubbish day, just as I am going to sleep that tomorrow is a brand new day with no mistakes in it - helps me a lot especially when DD was really little and I felt that I had buggered everything up, which of course I hadn't!

Original poster
Haribosmum · 31/05/2007 12:45

Yeah it was an ok day yesterday and the same today but I can't be bothered getting up dressed again. Oh well, we've no-where to go. LOL

OP posts:
JoTwyman · 31/05/2007 19:43

Hey there - you sound a bit down today? Sorry I haven't been on line today.... Maybe you could have little outings everyday, even if it is to go across the road to get milk, or take kids to swings, means you have got little missions to build up to a bigger outing. Have you managed to see GP yet?