How to avoid a break down or burnout?

[MrsWhirly]

I have a lot on my plate - it’s been this way for years...

I’m resilient but I am increasingly feeling like I may have just about had enough.

For the first time in my life I am anxious, suffering from panic, insomnia and worry. I feel like I am about to crash and there will be no going back.

It is unlikely I can solve all of even some of the issues that are causing me to feel like this in the short term - my job- which I don’t like. My husband and his inability to be responsible for anything. The rest has just been a drip, drip over the years of responsibility, pressure, financial worries. My dad’s cancer, and elderly parents.

I can’t cope any more. Sometimes i want to withdraw from life and not get out of bed, but I do for my two children.

How do I deal with feeling like this? Avoiding the mental breakdown? The burden?

Sorry you feel like that, it isn't nice - I've been through it myself! I spent a long time denying anything was wrong, but eventually I went to the GP. He was brilliant at helping me through my choices and just generally listening. I decided to take medication and it really helped me with the low, crushing feelings of having to actually be alive and function, plus I had counselling which helped more than I thought. And as difficult as it is, having an honest conversation with my partner was necessary, as he thought I was being dramatic at first. It took a good few convos before we were in a place in which I could talk freely and admit to needing help, as I'm terribly stubborn and don't like to be reliant on others. I had lost my mother to a five year long battle with cancer, my father was being horrid towards my siblings still at home and we also had terrible debt that seemed to get bigger every day! I just wanted to say you aren't alone feeling like that and it really is tough, but possible to pull through

Thank you Jijgglyjugs it’s good to know you feel you can pull through.

Can I ask what medication you took? And for how long? I would love counselling to
Be honest as I often feel I can’t talk to anyone, as I am the one everyone is relying on to be strong, know what to do etc. Xx

20mgs of citalopram; I'm coming off of it now due to pregnancy but been on for a year and a half, roughly.
I was fortunate that it worked well for me but sometimes you need a bit of trial and error.
I had online counselling which I preferred too - I get what you mean about being able to be open with someone right in front of you! It's a free service through the NHS, it may be worth a search? I know there are other organisations that also provide a similar service.
I totally get what you mean about being the strong one - it's ok when you feel up to it, but when you need support but feel as though you have no one, its like falling into a bottomless pit

I really hope you get some support! It can feel more scary saying you need it, but honestly it's a relief when you do, even if it is just your Dr at first.

Go see your gp. Meds can make a massive difference

I’m a bit scared of meds if I am honest. I don’t know why, maybe because I am scared I won’t be in control. I just feel so shit, useless and that everything is going belly up... thank you for you advice x

Meds just make me feel like my normal happy self. Ido have the odd down day due to pmt or whatever but it’s nothing like it was and quite rare

Labradoodliedoodoo Can inask what you take?

OP what would you do if you had the flu? If at all poss, take some time off. Sleep, go for walks, talk to friends, maybe go to GP too but see how you feel after a rest.

Colouring you make a really good point - I am knackered. I never take a break, it’s runnig from one thing to the next all the time. I’m exhausted.

OP, go see your GP.
I was in your shoes a couple of years ago. I took sertraline for 6 months, it was absolutely fine, got back to sleeping, restored my health, put order in my life and gained a new perspective.
Best thing I ever did.
Look after yourself

8FencingWire Thank you. That’s it isn’t it, we spend so much time looking after others; we forget ourselves. X

Sertraline

I feel very similar, MrsWhirly, and am toying with going to my GP. It's so hard to decide if it's the right thing to do or not.

toomuchfaster It is indeed. It’s horrible though, that I do know x

Any chance you can take some time off to just rest? I'm sure GP would sign you off if you tell them what you've said here. I got signed off for stress and exhaustion for a fortnight last autumn. Two weeks of lots of sleep and tv did make a big difference.

colouring that sounds like heaven but it wouldn’t go down well at work and I think I would ultimately be penalised. I am the breadwinner at home so feel hugely protective about my job. I must book some time off though ... x

Yeah but a week off now could prevent three months off later....

How are you doing @MrsWhirly?
I bit the bullet yesterday and saw my GP, have been signed off for a fortnight. Think I needed it to come from an authority figure, IYSWIM. Have to call my boss shortly, very nervous right now!

My dh felt like this after a big issue at work. He left it a bit too late but when he finally went to the gp and started on anti depressants it was, slowly, transformational. They got him back on an even keel to start taking care of himself.

The slow build up of stress alters the chemicals in your brain so that everything causes a stress reaction so that even ordering a cup of coffee becomes insanely stressful. Your body only knows one way to react.

The drugs do work if that’s what your gp suggests. But do go. I went with my husband and that may help if you’ve got someone who can go with you,

Also exercise reduces the stress hormones, something that gets your heart rate up. It’s also time for you. You probably desperately need to make time for you. Avoiding caffeine, trying meditation, talking walks in the countryside, avoiding alcohol and eating well.

Mostly though take some time for yourself and take this seriously.

toomuchfaster Well don’t for taking that step - did your GP suggest anything else? I hope you get some mental and physical rest during that time.

I had a terrible day today if I am being honest, but mainly because of a meeting I had and that the person was extreamly rude to me. I was very professional but had a cry in secret a bit later!

You have to see your GP OP. The illness you almost certainly already have ruins lives, it takes years to recover from and it can be deadly (depression and/or stress related heart disease).
Don't minimize it. Don't be scared of medication. You can't fix this alone and you don't have to try.

Oh, and thank you so much for asking x

Crabapplebiscuit I’m glad your husband got some help.

There is so much in your post that makes sense! I noticed the other day about responding with stress to more and more - like that’s my permanent state now...

I think I would definitely benefit from excercise, pre-children going to the gym was my escape but virtually impossible to find time between working full time, commuting, kids and elderly/sick parents. X

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 Great name!

Thank you.

The more I think about how I feel, the more I realise that this has been creeping up on me for years - in fact the last 5 years. X

Heya. My GP did suggest a phsychological help service! But there is a long waiting list so may not be much help for a while. Speaking to my boss was hard, I think she's disappointed. My GP didn't suggest meds, I think she felt a rest is the first step.
IMO, crying at work was the first sign something was wrong with me.