How to avoid a break down or burnout?

[MrsWhirly]

I have a lot on my plate - it’s been this way for years...

I’m resilient but I am increasingly feeling like I may have just about had enough.

For the first time in my life I am anxious, suffering from panic, insomnia and worry. I feel like I am about to crash and there will be no going back.

It is unlikely I can solve all of even some of the issues that are causing me to feel like this in the short term - my job- which I don’t like. My husband and his inability to be responsible for anything. The rest has just been a drip, drip over the years of responsibility, pressure, financial worries. My dad’s cancer, and elderly parents.

I can’t cope any more. Sometimes i want to withdraw from life and not get out of bed, but I do for my two children.

How do I deal with feeling like this? Avoiding the mental breakdown? The burden?

Have you tried meditation? I know that sounds very woo but it has helped me immensely in dealing with stress. I use the insight timer app. There's a huge selection of meditations on it.

Hi flipflop Not really. I wanted to try mindfulness and downloaded a couple of apps but couldn’t really get into it. ‘Insight Timer’ - is that the name of the one you use? I’ll give it a go. Where do you usually meditate?

I meditate wherever and whenever I get the chance. You can start out with just three minutes. I listened to one yesterday which was very good by a guy called Tom Evans. It was about stopping the constant "chattering" in your head. This is a big source of stress for me. My mind can start whirring and I find it difficult to stop it spiraling into catastrophic thoughts!!! I find the techniques he suggests very useful.

I also do yoga. If someone had said to me three years ago I'd be doing yoga and meditating I'd have laughed at them! I thought it was all nonsense but now I couldn't be without either!

I hope you find your way through this difficult time MrsWhirly.

The sick parents aside, I could have written your post. I feel close to burn out too. I've always been the person who could shoulder everything but I think I've finally hit my limit with a full on stressful job, commute and pre-schooler.

Personally i don't think drugs are the answer. I've felt depression and this isn't it. There is no black dog. The problem is stress levels and having no time for myself. I think mindfulness, exercise and a bit of time for you would make an enormous difference, but it is so so hard to find the time.

toomuchfaster What makes you think your boss was disappointed? Did they offer any solution with regards to work? X

flipflop thank you. I’ve downloaded the insight app and will try it tonight in bed. Just tried it in the train, but there is one of those really loud people who talk constantly without taking a breath:)

Eurochick I don’t know what it is either but I do know that if I was mortgage free right now, I would be seriously considering becoming a hermit! X

I felt like this last year (and I'm in a profession which helps people when they feel like this...) and I put off seeking help and tried to manage my way out of it! But I started 'leaking' at work more and more and in the end had to stop. The gp made me take a month and work hardly noticed/cared (gotta love the NHS). It was hard to just stop and rest, but it definitely helped.

Try treating yourself as if you've got two broken legs - who would be a source of practical support? My dh struggled to understand stress and I had to fight to not automatically take on the lions share of child care as I was off work! A website called www.gathermycrew.com (or co.uk) might be helpful. As might moodscope where you can track your mood.

Anything small can help - 15mins YouTube yoga routine, getting outside in the evening sun for a walk when the kids are down, eating well, getting enough sleep. But sometimes, more drastic measures are needed and it's time to listen to the signals your body is giving.

I didn't take medication as felt I needed to make life changes. But lots of people find it helpful.

Could some of this be due to pre-menopause? There are threads on MN, where what you describe seems common among 45+ year olds. Plus procrastination is an additional one; feeling overwhelmed by all the tasks, thinking about them, but not doing them.

DianaT1969 I wonder if pre-menapause is a factor... I asked my GP for the blood test, but it was negative. I need to do some more research about it I think. X

In the run up to menopause , Peri menopause, your oestrogen levels start to drop and depression and anxiety are a common symptom. Blood tests aren't conclusive till you are through. My gp went on symptoms to prescribe hrt which really helped. Menopusematters is a really good website.