Is anyone around to talk?

[LittleMissPetty]

Please help I need talking down. I'm feeling so lonely. When I was younger and feeling like this I'd self harm or go for a walk - night walks were the best. I can do neither now but feeling horrible and getting to the hysterical stage. I want to cry my eyes out but that feels worse but can't stop them. Please tell me a story or your day or anything.

Good job with the painting and wallpapering! Your DD sounds lovely to help. I’ve never attempted wallpapering, I imagine I really would end up throwing the paper out of the window in frustration though... I salute you for getting through it! It’s great to have a blank slate and be able to decorate somewhere how you like.

I’m going to have to sign off too as I also have to be up in a few hours! The man downstairs is snoring ridiculously loudly though, so I might be too angry to sleep!

Check in with us in the morning

Atticuss thank you. It does feel like it's only you at the time but i know it's not. I'm glad you've managed to get past it well done. I would try something with a storyline but can't stay focussed at the moment.

Thank you so much for your help tonight Secret. I really am feeling better than i was and you have helped so much - really thank you I hope you get a good rest

Bexter unfortunately I have neglected myself lately and get no alone time. It's my birthday today but I have no plans other than a couple of hours at work, then on to college for the rest of the day before getting home at 6 to cook tea and try and prepare for DD's birthday on Wednesday. I need a knight in shining armour to rescue me (would never say that in real life )

Aw sweetheart,happy birthday please consider skipping college,go treat yourself....a nice dinner few drinks,can anyone watch dd for the night? As for your knight and shining armour,your not going to find him in the sitting room!,out and about and more you time definitely needed

Unfortunately I can't skip college as its linked with work which they're paying for. No family around; it's just me and DD. I do need to get out and about a bit more but first I do think I should go to the docs and see if i can go back on ADs for a bit to see me through - a nutcase crying one moment and being so happy shed streak through the town the next is not very attractive

Sorry my typing and grammar is terrible tonight I promise I do usually use apostrophes

Don't you worry about silly minor things like apostrophes can dd go stay at a friend's for the night? I'm not sure,streaking through the town would definitely attract attention could you take the whole day off tomorrow,go see docs,go out treat yourself,and try arrange dd to stay at friends,make a whole day and night out of it

If you had a bad stomach bug,you'd HAVE to skip work and college,your head space is just/if not more important.

The problem is if I took a day off I'd feel a) guilty for doing so and b) worried about the crap left for me the next day so even worse and not able to relax. I'll book a day next month once everything is out the way - handing keys to rental house back on Friday and disco for DD birthday with sleepover on Saturday 😕 - to have a break. It is long overdue - i can't remember the last time i had a day off (not ill) without DD being home (to clarify she doesn't see her fuckwit of a dad so no weekend breaks).

Hi OP just popping in as I'm sat outside my ds's door. I'm due back at work this week after maternity and can you believe it's been one thing after another? He had an allergic reaction where he had explosive nappies every hour literally... I was just taking him in and out the bath for 5 days straight... we had barely caught up with our sleep and he came down a horrific cold. Chesty cough, sore throat, extremely runny nose. He isn't over that yet and now has conjunctivitis these last few weeks of my maternity leave were meant to be spent settling into nursery and me having some 'me time' to wind down from
Maternity and gear up for work! Instead here I am sitting outside his room doing controlled crying. His sleep has been shit and he doesn't settle with me in the room. I tried sitting with him for ages earlier but it just got him more wound up. Twice I've nearly nodded off and he's woke crying again. I think that's him asleep now.

I hope posting tonight has been a great help - keep posting and we'll all be here to listen 👂. I hope you manage to get some sleep. I always find a sleep meditation from YouTube can really help calm me down and switch off when I'm struggling x

Oh and happy birthday! I think you should sod college and work tomorrow and do exactly as you please. Picnic at the park, book at a cafe, massage , cinema. Whatever takes your fancy. Do NOT feel guilty. You will be no good to anyone if you aren't looking after and prioritising your own body and mind. You deserve it. One day isn't going to make the world come crashing down. Give yourself permission to take a day off and park all the negative thoughts up and don't allow yourself to think about them. Just think 'I'll come back to those problems tomorrow' and keep repeating!

Okay,guess no point if it's only going to add to your stress,though can you not book a day off sooner? And can you try go see doc asap,if you know it'll defo help you. You have loads going on,it's important,really important,you don't forget about 'you'. Ah ok,you got any plans for Sat night? And I can totally emphasise with you on the fuckwit dad scenario.....but that can be bypassed,you have her friends stay over,and vice versa. So that you get some regular time for yourself

Oh purple it sounds like you've had a nightmare time and your poor ds. Controlled crying is heart breaking to do but well done you getting so far.

Posting has been life saving tonight (no exaggeration) so it really has helped thank you for asking. I may try a meditation YouTube video as I'm looking at the clock and know my alarm is going off in 3 and a half hours and although in tired in not 'sleep' tired if you know what I mean.

Do hope you get some sleep ,and reconsider snoozing in tomorrow having a well deserved,needed chilled day. x

Bexter can I just say thank you for your time and kind words tonight I was in such a state earlier and talking has really helped so thank you. I'm going to try and sleep now but I can't thank you enough for everything.

Purple I hope your return to work goes well and your ds gets better soon

Thanks very much. Wishing you the best also! Sleep tight

Absolutely no thanks needed,I've enjoyed chatting to you,too. Please keep us updated.....night,night...sweet dreams.

DS also likes 'I'm still standing'

Although he can't quite grasp the words (he's 4) so he sings 'im still staring, better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, looking at a little kid'

Hi Littlemiss! Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Hope you managed to get some sleep xxxx

Morning! How are you doing? Is it sunny where you are?

Hey,just checking in seeing how things are today? Hope you had a bit of a snooze

Hi everyone
Thank you for keeping me company last night. I did manage to get a couple of hours using a meditation app. I have been shaking all morning though and still feeling like I am watching a tv show. I'm currently sat at the Drs waiting to be seen before going to college. I got no work done this morning and doubt I'll concentrate at college but don't feel like being on my own - I just think it will be a repeat of last night. It's difficult but I'll get there.

I know what you mean by watching tv show,almost like an out of body experience....that's great your at docs,please be as open and honest to them,and consider how your feeling after,don't go to college if you don't feel like it. Maybe go treat yourself,a massage,dinner.....both I know you don't want to be on your own,but who knows who you could meet venturing out,plus its good to change things about.