I want to hurt myself

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I used to cut but I can't because it depressed my mother and my partner would leave me and probably take our son. I think sometimes I can get away with burning myself. I need something to take the edge off. I think about it when I get overwhelmed. I don't know why this is the only thing I think can help. Binge eating use to help but I barely have an appetite anymore, and if I eat my regular meals during the day, I can't. I have to be strong for all these people and put myself out for them all but I don't get the same. I'm sick of it, I don't get the same in returm. I can feel myself growing angrier, I used to be laid back and I could easily let things go but I feel so unimportant, so unappreciated to everyone. I just need something to make me feel better.

Can you ring the Samaritans or 111? Have you got any friends or family to ring? Harming yourself won't help, it will just give you a temporary relief and open the door to cutting again. You are a good and worthy person who does not deserve to be hurt. I hope you are safe, OP

I get it. I’m in the same position as you. I bloody love cutting, as awful as that is.

Do you meditate at all? I’ve started doing it and it changes your whole day. There is a great app called Breathe where you have to put in the emotions you’re feeling and it gives you a meditation or relaxation to listen to. It’s free and it really helps.

Also, are you on any medication or do you see anyone?

I understand everything you said in your post but we both know it’s not good for us to do it. Take some deep breaths and hang in there.

Thank you wombats for you kind words, I can't tell you how much I appreciate them, I will remember them.
I live in the states and my family doesn't know about any of this except my mom and I know it breaks her heart every time i mention it and my partner he ignores my mental health problems just like he ignores his so I don't go to him for support. I feel so lonely and unloved, I really wish he would hear me out, him and my son are my whole world, I have no one else. My best friend and I talk sometimes but she is in worst shape than I am, so I try not to bother her with my problems.

Thank you Mrsgorilla also, I used to meditate, I just have to find some time to myself to get started again, I don't get much time to myself, but I will download the app, it sounds great.
I stopped taking my antidepressants because they gave me insomnia and its not the best combination when you barely get any sleep with a baby and I also stopped seeing my therapist because I couldn't go through my trauma therapy, it was too hard. Thank you for the advice, I will try to remember to breathe, it so hard when your in the moment.

I think you should try different medication, not all of them suit us and I’ve had to give up on a couple, but then I found some that give me a peaceful night and a much more relaxed mind.

I think you need to say to your dh that you can’t ignore how you feel and that partners should support each other.

Hi there OP,

We’re so sorry to hear that you’re feeling like this.

We wanted to share Mind's information with you – it has practical tips on what you can do when you feel like this and where to get urgent help. Maybe take a look and see if there’s anything which might be helpful right now.

Please do think about exploring some of the options in the link above. Samaritans are there for you too, 24/7, by emailing [email protected] or calling 116 123.

You can also see the resources in our Mental Health webguide.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ.