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How do you know when you've reached breaking point?

37 replies

cottonwoolbrain · 19/03/2018 11:35

When getting up in the morning seems like a marathon?
When you dont answer the phone because you don't feel able to talk even if you know who it is?
When you just can't feel anything anymore? - not sympathy, not fear,not hate,not anger, not happiness or sadness... just numb?
When you lose all interest in your surroundings and you're just past caring that the sink is overflowing or the washing hasn't been done or that the livingroom looks like its been hit by a bomb?
When you feel sort of sick and on the verge of tears the whole time?
When doing even the simplist things seem like an effort?
When there seems no point in washing or showering?
When the thngs you do do - those necessary things are on autopilot - bath children, make food... almost like someone else is doing them..
When you comfort eat and put on a stone and a half in less than 3 months and don't seem able to stop
When you dn't want to go anywhere in case you have to talk to someone
When you think about killing yoruself but summoning up the energy to do anythng about it seems beyond you

When you feel as I do all those things at once... or don't feel them... or don't do them...

I'm so tired. There's a situation hitting our family that's been going on for 3 years. We can't do anything about it except wait and wait for other people because its so far out of our control. depending on what they do it could get far far better for indescribably worse... and I can't talk about what it is and I feel so alone and so useless and terrible mother and a shit partner and can't even confront the person behind all of this because it would make it worse....

and I don't know what to do anymoreand I'vehad enough and I'm breaking

OP posts:
listsandbudgets · 19/03/2018 11:37

and my dad died just after Christmas and I dont' even know how to grieve becasue I'm so numb with everything else... I'm only just functioning and my children deserve so much bettr

listsandbudgets · 19/03/2018 11:41

and I forgot to name change my second post .... oh f*ck it beyond caring now... can't care anyway...

Lisette40 · 19/03/2018 11:44

It sounds like you are depressed OP. Perhaps you might approach your GP for help, especially to help you in the days ahead while things are sorting. Flowers

Lisette40 · 19/03/2018 11:48

I know we don't really do hugs on MN but here's an unMumsnetty hug .

Summerfalls · 19/03/2018 16:38

Agree with everything listette40 has written above op Flowers

listsandbudgets · 20/03/2018 12:01

Thank you both of you its nice to know someone gives a damn. I agree it probably is depression though I'm beginning to wonder if its a side effect of my epilepsy medication so may talk to my epilepsy nurse abou that.

Feeling a bit better today after actually getting a decent nights sleep. I actually managed to go through the huge pile of paper on the kitchen table today and throw away more than half of it - hardly an acheivement but a start :(

listsandbudgets · 20/03/2018 12:07

Going to challange myself to

Doing a load of washing and hanging it up
Having a shower and putting on clean clothes
Unloading the dishwasher which has been sitting full for days and reloading it with the endless stuff which is waiting to go in
Emptying the bin and replacing the bag
Going round with a rubbish bag and picking up as much of the rubbish lying about as I can and putting in outside bin
Working out what's for dinner and actually cooking it...

Oh god that seems an unclimbable list. Maybe if I can do some of it I'd feel better... would it be awful if dinner was a ready meal think there's a lasagne in the freezer?

HolyShet · 20/03/2018 12:13

Do one thing at a time

I have been there (actually, if I am honest I am kind of in the same place right now, I'm off work for 3 weeks with anxiety/depression/burnout). It's horrible. Sending solidarity.

One thing at a time.

It's sunny here, I am going to do one thing from my list then sit outside with a coffee to reward myself. Then the next thing, if I can.

(and lasagne sounds perfect)

UnimaginativeUsername · 20/03/2018 12:16

Pick one thing and do that. Don’t worry about completing the list. Once you’ve done one thing you can see how you feel about one other thing. But remember that it’s totally ok if you just manage the one thing.

Ready meals or frozen lasagne are perfectly good dinners.

BrutusMcDogface · 20/03/2018 12:18

Lasagne ready meal is perfect, so that's one thing ticked off. I agree, do one thing from your list and then have a rest. I think a shower and clean clothes might be a good place to start.

I know how you feel (obviously don't know what your family situation is, but have been very depressed before).

Go to the gp or epilepsy nurse as soon as you can. I do know that epilepsy drugs can cause depression; have you upped your dose or something? I'm no expert but have it in the family.

You aren't well. Look after yourself Flowers

Summerfalls · 20/03/2018 13:13

Don’t pressure yourself to finish a list of things when you are feeling this way, as above poster said pick one thing at a time and don’t worry if you can’t complete the ‘list’, baby steps when you are feeling this way.
Nothing wrong with ready made lasagna either if it makes life easier and more manageable, aslong as you are eating and the kids are, I think that’s the main thing.
I don’t know anything about epilepsy medications myself so can’t advice on that, but do talk to gp or your epilepsy nurse asap, don’t struggle alone with this.
I am suffering with depression myself atm so you totally have my sympathy, I have spent 2 days doing nothing, my ds is has been unwell for last 2 days so I don’t feel as guilty on him or pressured. The only thing I will be ticking off my list today is to wash up and make dinner, the rest of household chores can wait! Flowers

CantGetNoSleeeeeeep · 20/03/2018 13:24

I just made one of those lists. If I don’t do all of them it doesn’t matter I’m just going to start with one... try that Flowers

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 20/03/2018 14:00

That's a huge list, OP. I'm struggling at the moment and my rule for myself is that every day I will get up, eat breakfast, shower and do one other thing to improve life. Yesterday I took ds to the doctors, today I am seeing my therapist, tomorrow I am going to do laundry... If I am clean, fed and have achieved one thing on my to do list, I call that a win.

Summerfalls · 20/03/2018 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread.

listsandbudgets · 20/03/2018 14:10

I used to be able to do the whole of that list in hour and a half or so but have done so little.

I scooped piles of washing off the DC's bedroom floors and shoved theminthe machine. I had a shower, brushed my teeth and put on clean clothes. I emptied the bin and put in a new bag then hung up the wash.

Just that has taken me nearly 2 hours and I feel drained mentally and physically...

Later I have to force myself to do the washing up / dishwasher emptying. I know dp will come in from work and tidy round a bit but I really don't want him to have to... I've been home all day and achieved nearly nothing...and I've just noticed that the kitchen floor has so much dust and filth on it that I may as well start planting bulbs on it.it needs a serious sweep...

my poor children do not deserve to live in this hovel :(

listsandbudgets · 20/03/2018 15:34

I just unloaded the dishwasher... feeling almost triumphant. No doubt when I've summoned the energy to put all the filthy stuff lying about into it will be full again and back to square one.... why even bother?

listsandbudgets · 20/03/2018 20:15

Well everyones fed. Five year old DS bathed and in bed 12 year old ddhas done homework and now wtching tv. Dishwasher reloaded and running again - surfaces look slightly tider because stuff is in the dishwasher rather than piled up all dirty and messy.... God I'm pattin myself on the back for cooking a meal and loading the dishwasher just normal things I should take for granted :(

I feel totally wiped out - dreading getting them up in the morning :(

Going to email epilepsy nurse and ask what she thinks...may be wrong been on same dose of same stuff fora while...

Thank you all for being so kind

Lisette40 · 20/03/2018 20:31

Lists you're doing very well. When I get very down I find the emotional exhaustion saps every impulse I have. I get 'stuck'. You've a lot on your plate at the moment. You should celebrate the small victories.

UnimaginativeUsername · 20/03/2018 20:31

You’ve done loads, especially since you’ve felt like you’re wading through treacle while doing it. You finished the list you set yourself (and did more washing, and dishwashering than you set out to). And you’ve managed to ensure that everyone is fed, clean and that homework is done. That’s a pretty successful day really.

Lisette40 · 20/03/2018 20:33

the kitchen floor has so much dust and filth on it that I may as well start planting bulbs on it

You've not lost your sense of humour Grin

BrutusMcDogface · 20/03/2018 21:47

You've done brilliantly! Really, you have. Flowers

listsandbudgets · 21/03/2018 08:08

DCs in school. DD earlt morning choir ds lego / breakfast club.

The sun is shining on all the dirt ... going to aim to have breakfast shower and unload dishwasher by 12 o'clock then think what ti do next if I can.

RJnomore1 · 21/03/2018 08:15

Hi lists

I've been feeling like that for a while. Outwardly I'm doing ok as I'm sat work but my house is a tip and at weekends I could sit and cry if left to it.

This week I feel better. I don't know why? I suspect I'm hormonal due to my age which isn't helping: I have no major issue going on like you.

I think you're doing amazingly well. Can you get people to help out? Can dd empty the dishwasher after school? Both dc put their own clothes in the basket? Just take a little strain off of you.

Thirtyrock39 · 21/03/2018 08:19

Can you go for a long walk - being outside in the fresh air will give you other things to focus on and the exercise will release some happy endorphins ?

RJnomore1 · 21/03/2018 08:19

I should say I'm feeling a bit like that - I'm still managing to mostly function, I didn't mean to minimise how you feel sorry if it came across like that